Scenario of extra-curricular activities for elementary school children "Polite listener"

Goals: develop communication skills; cultivate good manners.

Event progress

We can talk with our friend, we can talk in the circle of our friends. What is the most important thing in a conversation? What rules of conversation should we follow?

During the conversation, we share news, talk about feelings and experiences, learn the opinions of our interlocutors. What is the most important thing in a conversation? Perhaps the most important thing is the ability to carry on a conversation? Yes, it is very important to be a good storyteller. But it is equally important to be a good listener. A true friend can always listen to you. Be that friend. Do not rush to talk only about yourself. Listen to your friend, ask him questions. Learn to listen - you will be respected: what a good conversationalist! Try to remember what you have been told. When meeting with a friend, do not just ask how things are, but remember what your friend said last time, what he complained about, what he shared with you. Now we are in this and practice.

Situation 1 . One of the group of children is invited to tell something interesting. For example, about your puppy, kitten, about how he spent his holidays. The rest of the participants in the situation being played out are invited to ask questions to the speaker, that is, to keep up the conversation. For example, what do you feed your kitten? What does he like to play? Where does he sleep?

Situation 2. Before parting, Katya tells her friend Olya that she is very worried about her grandmother, who fell ill and ended up in the hospital. Imagine that three days have passed. The girls met again.

- What should Olya ask when meeting with Katya? (Children's answers.)

Yes, of course, a real friend at a meeting will definitely ask how her grandmother is.

One of the rules of conversation is to remember what you have been told. Now we will check how well you remember what your friend says.

One of the students is given a text, which, for example, contains an announcement about an upcoming trip to the theater. Five students leave the class. At this time, the student who received the Text pronounces it to all the students remaining in the class.

“Guys, in two weeks at the Theater for Young Spectators there will be a premiere of the play “I don’t want to be a dog”. The ticket costs 70 rubles. We have to leave school at 2 pm. Meet at half past one at the school. You can go to the theater with your parents. We are gathering at the theater at twenty minutes to two.

After listening to this text, one of the students standing outside the door is invited to the class. One of the students who listened to the text transmits its content to the person who entered. Next step: This student relays what they heard to the next student outside the door. So the chain transmits the content to everyone who went out the door. The latter repeats what he heard, and everyone compares it with the original text. This allows children to visually see how often it happens that we do not hear everything when we listen.

A few more rules of a good interlocutor:

If you are approached, and you are busy at this time, leave all your affairs and look at the interlocutor, express your readiness to participate in the conversation.

Listen carefully to the end. Don't interrupt. Do not prompt the speaker for words, do not finish phrases for him, do not make comments during the conversation. Keep in mind that sometimes a person just needs to speak out.

If your conversation involves several people, do not respond to speech that is not addressed to you.

In your presence, they made tactlessness, spoke sharply and irritably. Try to end the conversation right away, but do it without calling.

Are they mocking or calling others names? Move the conversation to other topics.

Try to listen to the interlocutor carefully and sympathetically, so that he has the feeling that you are talking to him.

Game for the development of attention and speech "Snowball"

Students sit on chairs arranged in a circle facing the center. The host offers to compose the story "My Puppy". Each of the players must repeat the sentence made by the previous player and add their own so that they get a story. For example:

Student 1. I have a puppy.

Student 2. I have a puppy. His name is Jim.

Student 3. I have a puppy. His name is Jim. Jim has a smooth brown coat with a white spot.

Lysenko Irina Yurievna

MBOU secondary school №18 Stavropol

Social teacher

Conversation with students in grades 9-11:

"Culture of communication"

Opening speech:

“The word is a commander leading into battle. This is a musician touching the dormant strings of the human soul; know which string to touch, and it will resound with wondrous music. In minutes of such conversations about the sacred and high, I touch the strings that are called: Citizenship, Humanity, Honor, Dignity. I appeal directly to the living soul of every person ... ”(VL. Sukhomlinsky).

What is our speech? (student answers)

Speech is not just a series of sounds that we mechanically pronounce. Language - This is a system of conventional signs with the help of which combinations of sounds are transmitted that have a certain meaning and meaning for people. Speech is the person himself. This is the result of our thinking. This is the character of a person, which defines him as a person. It is the indispensable means by which people interact, cooperate and find mutual understanding. Communication - the exchange of information, and language is a system of signs. Communication between people is carried out not only through language, but also with the help of many other signs: scientific symbols (in mathematics, physics, etc.), signs of art (notes in music, symbols of fine art), marine signaling, traffic signs. For you, students, it is also a reproduction in speech communication of the knowledge you have gained. This is very important point their assimilation. Your speech is a reflection of the level of your intellectual and cultural development. If a person knows how to use the word correctly, then this has a huge impact on the growth of his authority. The spoken word often has a stronger effect than the written word. A person's speech should be clear and intelligible, figurative, emotional and convincing.

In your opinion, what norms and rules of speech relate to the concept of "cultural speech"? Let's discuss your options and write them on the board. (student answers)

The culture of speech obliges a person to adhere to certain mandatory norms and rules, among which the most important are:

1)pithiness- thoughtfulness and limiting informativeness of expressions; true eloquence consists in saying all that is necessary, but no more;

2)consistency- validity, and consistency of presentation, in which all the leading provisions are interconnected, and are subject to a single thought.

3)evidence- reliability, clarity and validity of the arguments, which should clearly show the interlocutor that everything that is being said exists in reality and is objective;

4)persuasiveness- the ability to convince the interlocutor and ensure that this belief is firmly rooted in his mind; for these purposes, one should take into account the psychological characteristics of the interlocutor, illustrate one's position with vivid examples;

5)clarity- each expression must be clear and precise; too fast speech is difficult to perceive, too slow - causes irritation; dull and inexpressive speech can destroy the deepest thoughts;

6)intelligibility- the use of words and terms that are understandable to the interlocutor; foreign and rarely used words and expressions should not be abused; The use of jargon is not allowed.

7)tact - is an ethical norm that requires the speaker to understand the interlocutor, avoid inappropriate questions, discussing topics that may be unpleasant for him.

8) courtesy is the ability to anticipate possible questions and wishes of the interlocutor, readiness to inform him in detail on all topics essential for the conversation.

9) tolerance is to calmly relate to possible differences of opinion, to avoid sharp criticism of the views of the interlocutor. You should respect the opinions of other people, try to understand why they have this or that point of view. Consistency is closely related to such a quality of character as tolerance - the ability to calmly respond to unexpected or tactless questions and statements of the interlocutor.

10) d benevolence is necessary both in relation to the interlocutor, and in the entire construction of the conversation: in its content and form, in intonation and choice of words.

A high culture of speech is the ability to correctly, accurately and expressively convey one's thoughts by means of language. It also lies in the ability to find the most intelligible and most appropriate means for expressing one's thoughts, suitable for each specific case.

Every day and many times we use expressions of speech etiquette: we turn to people, greet them, say goodbye, thank you, apologize, congratulate you on the holiday, wish you success. We sympathize, approve and make a compliment, we advise something, we invite someone, we ask for something - and all this is true, we choose our own roles relative to the roles of the interlocutor, and the specific situation of communication, and national habits and customs.

Let's discuss the main points that we pay attention to when communicating with each other, with teachers, with parents. (student answers)

The main points of our speech, which should be paid attention to.

1. Vocabulary. If you don't read much, you will soon notice that it becomes difficult to find the right word. Words-weeds begin to appear, repetition of what has been said. What is the way out from here? Read more and communicate live, rather than on the Internet.

2. Emphasis. Sometimes there are words that can be pronounced differently. For example: "catalog", "call", "blinds", etc. Without a dictionary, you can’t figure out the correct pronunciation, so if you doubt these words, it’s better to skip them.

3. Extra words. For example: “I, like, well, I kind of meant answer A”, “Type of a working transistor”, “In short, the device works, and all that.” The most frequently repeated words are “shorter”, “type”, “how to put it”, “in general”, “something about”. It's not hard to get rid of it. One or two weeks of training is enough to give your sentences real literary beauty.

4. Tone. Record your speech on a voice recorder. Then listen for yourself and let others listen. Ask your comrades what they don't like about your speech and correct it.

5. Difficult speech. You can say it easier - speak. Everything seems to be clear and correct, but the impression is not at all the same. Follow this. If you speak Russian, then use only Russian words.

6. The ability to listen- an indispensable component of the culture of communication. If you show genuine attention to the thoughts and feelings of the person you are talking to, if you sincerely respect the opinion of your counterpart, you can be sure that you are a good conversationalist and people are pleased to communicate with you. The ability to listen is the key to your success in any life situation and in any society. But what to do if you adhere to the rules of communication culture and follow speech etiquette, and your interlocutor, neglecting the rules of good manners, is trying to pull you "to his side"? If you do not like the manner of communication of your interlocutor or you do not agree with what he is trying to convince you of, express your point of view by starting your speech with the appeal: “Does it seem to you that ...”. If during a conversation you had an argument with your interlocutor, as a result of which you realized that you were wrong, according to the rules of communication culture, you must admit your mistake. Do not bring the situation to conflict.

Since we have already decided on the concepts of the topic under discussion, its principles and fundamental points, I think it is time to discuss the basic rules, effective communication (student answers):

Manifest sincere interest to other people. "A person who shows no interest in his fellow human beings experiences the greatest hardships in life and inflicts the greatest injustices on others."

Try understand the virtues another person and sincerely recognize, praise these virtues. Let people feel their importance and uniqueness.

Instead of judging people try to understand the motives of their actions . This is more effective than criticizing or condemning, since criticism puts a person on the defensive and encourages him to look for excuses for himself, and does not make him think.

Be friendly, welcoming, smile.

Address the person by name , patronymic, remember that for a person the sound of his name is the most important and pleasant sound in human speech.

Talk about what's interesting to your interlocutor.

Be a good listener this encourages a person to talk about himself.

Show respect and tolerance for other people's opinions . Do not use expressions like: “You don’t understand anything!”, “Your views are hopelessly outdated!”, “Thinking like that is stupid!”. Speaking disapprovingly about the opinions, tastes, habits of another person, you offend him, his personality. In addition, most often we measure by ourselves, so remember that you are not a standard for everyone, not a subject for imitation, another person has different views on life, he is even called that - OTHER.

Listen more than talk .

And at the end of our meeting, I offer you several exercises to improve and improve the culture of your speech. They will help you learn how to correctly build sentences, develop your imagination. (2-3 exercises to choose from are performed in the audience).

1. Close your eyes. Think of one of the objects in the room, focus on it. Without opening your eyes, list as many features of this object as you can. After 3 minutes, open your eyes and write down everything you remember, still without looking at the object.

2. Choose a poem that you like. Use its last line as the first line of your own poem.

3. Where do you go when you want to take a break from family, work, etc.? Write about this place.

4. Describe in 400 words perfect place where you would like to live. (to count words, use the "Statistics" item in the Word "Tools" menu)

5. Write what you would say to an uninvited guest who came to your house at three in the morning.

6. Write a story that begins with the words: "I once had an opportunity ... but I missed it."

7. Letter to the past. Write a letter to your 10 year old… yourself.

8. Describe your first toy in 200 words.

9. Write about the most difficult decision you have ever made.

10. Write about the easiest decision you have ever made.

11. Write a story about an empty glass.

12. Think back to the most boring day of your life. Describe it, but remember that your story does not have to be so boring.

13. Start a 500-word article like this: "If I could change something, I would change ..."

14. Write an explanation why you are not improving your writing skills daily.

15. Write a story about the blue item.

16. Imagine that you are in a room full of people but you are the only blind person in it. Write down how you see the room and people in your imagination.

17. Make a list of everything you fear. Pick one fear and write about it.

18. Describe a hot day in 200 words.

19. What do you do in bad weather? Write 250 words about it.

20. Write about what kind of food you would treat your worst enemy.

21. Think of a person who can be called too proud. Describe the behavior of this person.

22. Using 150 words, describe the appearance, occupation, habits of a person named ... say, Evgeny Kalachikov.

23. List 50 things you will never do.

24. Write a monologue from the point of view of a freshly cut flower.

25. Write a short story using the keywords dog trainer, law, beach, bun.

26. Write a monologue of a clean sock that was mistakenly put in a refrigerator full of food.

27. List 15 reasons to learn a foreign language.

28. Why is the teacher going to change careers? Name at least 10 reasons.

29. List the 7 worst things you can say to a freshly fired person.

30. Write a short, angry speech of 7 paragraphs, beginning each with the common expression "it grows like weeds."

31. Write a short story using the words: preacher, coin, comb, ladder, well.

32. Write short story with this plot: clones of Elvis Presley conquered the world.

I hope that our meeting helped you to get familiar with cultural speech. Thank you for your attention.

References:

Dunev A.I. ed. Chernyak V.D. Russian language and culture of speech. –M., 2002

Irina Oni. Thank you, please, hello. Lenizdat, company "Man, 1991.

A. Goldnikova. Good manners in drawings and examples. Translation from Polish, Moscow, Young Guard, 1979

Formanovskaya N.I. Speech etiquette and communication culture. - M .: Higher school, 1989.

Encyclopedia for children. I know the world, Moscow, 2000

A conversation about the culture of behavior, about politeness.

Every day you say and hear polite words: “hello”, “thank you”, “sorry”, “please”, “goodbye” and others. But there are also people who do not use these words, consider them not very important. These guys are among you. Therefore our Classroom hour dedicated to the rules of conduct and polite words.

Now let's mentally count how many people you meet and communicate with every day. At home, you communicate with your parents, brothers, sisters, neighbors; at school - with teachers, classmates, cooks, technical employees; on the street, in the store, in the library, in various circles with many other people. It is difficult to count how many people you will see and talk to in one day? You are in constant communication with familiar and unfamiliar people. You need to behave in such a way as not to offend anyone with a rude word. Often a good mood of a person depends on this. You guys need to reflect on your mistakes in behavior. A kind word, attention to each other, mutual support strengthen your relationship. And vice versa, unceremonious or rude treatment, tactlessness, offensive nicknames, nicknames hurt painfully, sharply worsen your well-being. Some believe that all this is trifles, trifles. However, harsh words are not harmless. It is not for nothing that people have composed wise sayings about the role of words in human relationships.

From one word to forever a quarrel.

The razor scratches, but the word hurts.

An affectionate word is a spring day.

How do you understand the meaning of these sayings?

Life in society requires that all people follow the rules that are binding on everyone. Your polite, kind attitude towards other people is shown both in actions and in words, as well as in the tone of conversation with them.

Now let's get acquainted with some rules of conduct.

Rule 1: how to behave on the street.

Rule 2: how to behave at a party.

Rule 3: how to behave at the table.

Rule 4: how to behave in public places.

Rule 5: how to behave when talking.

You must remember these rules.

Agnia Barto's poem "Polite deed".

It was summer,

The birds were singing...

Pavlik rode

On the train.

Suddenly at Fili station

Two girls suddenly entered.

Girls don't push

Modestly stood in a corner.

And they talk on the sidelines

In English.

Pavlik understood: “Foreigners!”

You can see it in your posture.

Maybe they are tourists

For the first time in our country.

And with difficulty he speaks English

Said: "Let me

Invite you to the bench.

Well, I myself will stand! .. "

It was summer,

The birds were singing...

Two girls on the train

Sat near the window.

By the way,

We are Muscovites

Smiling alone.

Peacock shouted:

How so!

So I'm in trouble?!

And now he does not drink, he does not eat.

Let's sympathize with him:

Give the girls a seat

It is not known why!

What would you do in this boy's place?

Now the guys will tell us about Lyubochka.

blue skirt,

Ribbon in braid.

Who doesn't know Lyubochka?

Everyone knows love.

The skirt is spinning

And a ribbon in a braid

Everyone is looking at Lyubochka,

Everyone rejoices.

She screams from the threshold

Announcing on the go:

I have many lessons

I won't go for bread.

She says pushing:

Ugh! What tightness!

She says to the old woman:

These are children's places.

Well, sit down! - she sighs.

Girls at the party

Gather around,

How Lyubochka dances!

Best of all friends.

But if this Lyubochka

You will come to the house

So you this girl

Find out the hard way.

Lyubochka rides in a tram-

She does not take a ticket.

Pushing everyone with elbows,

Sneaks forward.

blue skirt,

Ribbon in braid

That's what Lyubochka

In all its glory.

It happens that girls

Are very rough

Although not necessarily

They are called Love.

Thank you for your attention!

Target

: draw students' attention to the rules of etiquette, interest in the rules of etiquette.

Here are some general rules for the most pleasant conversation, which will help the student to be a pleasant conversationalist not only at the table, but also in any situation.

1. First, let's define what we shouldn't talk about. Try not to talk about things that can hurt the interlocutor unpleasantly. Do not speak disparagingly about, for example, a short actor with a cap, if the one with whom you are discussing him is also short himself. Don't brag about your dog in front of a friend whose dog was recently hit by a car. Do not describe the beauties of a vacation in the Bahamas if you know that the parents of your companion-interlocutor are not able to take him even to the nearest village.

2. Don't put others down. Do not hurt the feelings of your interlocutor, do not try to “poke” him, offend, rise at his expense.

3. Don't gossip. Speak well of those who are absent. Not only is gossip generally shameful, your words can convey "as intended" and even add their own. How will you look into the eyes of the one at whose expense you “innocently walked” a couple of days ago in a tête-à-tête conversation.

4. Do not discuss too narrow issues that are of no interest to anyone except you.

5. Each interlocutor - his own topic. With a classmate, you can discuss the problems of the new teacher. And the grandmother from all this will only understand that you are at odds with the teacher and you are facing a deuce. Barley on your cousin's eye is unlikely to interest the headmaster. And the scandal between mom and aunt, because of who better remembers the events of a decade ago, is better not to discuss with anyone at all.

6. On the street and in a public place, one should not speak too loudly for outsiders to hear. Do not think that strangers will pay enthusiastic attention to you: “Oh, how brave they are!” or "Oh, how witty", or "Oh my God, how cool!" Most likely they will think: “What bad manners!” And boringly turn away.

7. In general, you should not speak too loudly. If your words are ignored, then it is most likely not because you speak too quietly, but because you speak uninterestingly or confusingly. Or maybe your interlocutor does not know how to listen. Then don't waste your vocal cords on it.

8. Do not speak too softly either, so that people are not forced to strain their ears with all their might. Don't mutter under your breath. Don't speak too fast, but don't stretch your sentences either. If you are not confident in your artistry, do not pronounce words with excessive affectation (if you don’t know the word, ask an adult).

9. Tactlessly do not answer or react to questions.

10. If you misunderstood or misheard something, then do not ask again, as in the bazaar, "What?" (and even more "Sho?") Say: "Sorry, I did not hear."

11. If a third person joins two people, look for a topic that will be of interest to all three.

12. If you notice that two conversations are discussing something intimate, not for someone else's ear, elegantly exit the conversation, do not violate the "tête-à-tête". In no case do not ask: “What were you talking about here without me? If you don’t tell me, I’ll be offended!”, “It’s not good to keep secrets.” But one should not answer such really stupid questions too rudely. "None of your fucking business!" won't fit.

13. A very bad manner to answer a question with a question. It always sounds like you think your comrade is a complete fool. For example, they ask you: “Have you already had dinner?”, And you answer: “What should I do, sit without dinner, or what?” It's pointless and impolite.

14. Do not litter your speech with swear words. Some guys - and sometimes girls! – appear mature and experienced. In fact, it causes disgust and horror of others. Magicians believe that the one who uses dirty expressions in speech attracts the forces of evil and spoils his fate.

Expanding the vocabulary you use is necessary, but it should be done wisely. When you hear a new word, ask your elder to explain its meaning to you. Or better yet, look it up in a dictionary! And only when you understand the meaning of a new word well, start using it.

Then your language will gradually become richer and clearer. It will be easier for you to express your thoughts and you will become a pleasant conversationalist both at the table and in life.

About the culture of speech.

Prizhbilova T.V.

MINISTRY OF EDUCATION AND SCIENCE.

State Treasury educational institution“special (correctional) boarding school in Mozdok

About the culture of speech.

A series of conversations with teenagers.

Prizhbilova Tatiana

Vladimirovna

Biology teacher

Conversation 1.

We judge a person's upbringing by his behavior. Someone grew beautiful flowers to make people happy, protected a girl from an unbridled hooligan, helped an old man carry a heavy bag, etc. All these are good deeds. V. A. Sukhomlinsky equated the effective power of a word with an act, compared it with a delicate, fragrant flower, “living water” and a sharp knife, red-hot iron, clods of dirt. People's Artist of the USSR N. Yakimov wrote: "The words spoken by a person affect his tone, voice, movement, gait, and even actions."

Each of us is perceived by others in unity with what he says and how he says it. Speech reflects education, temperament, character, wit of a person. Often, the attraction to a certain vocabulary, the manner of speaking unmistakably characterize the age of a person. Young men rarely say "my regards" or "thank you", but for older people this is the norm.

Psychologists note that our attractiveness largely depends on the ability to be an interesting conversationalist. Any dialogue that we enter into with others requires the observance of certain rules. To emphasize the mutual understanding that has arisen, they say that people have found a common language. The linguist L. V. Shcherba called the literary language the most precious heritage received from previous generations, which provides the richest opportunities for expressing diverse experiences, feelings, and thoughts. The foundation of speech culture is laid in childhood. However, an educated person tends to strive to polish it all his life.

For intelligent person, wrote A.P. Chekhov, speaking badly should be considered as indecent as not being able to read and write. The culture of speech is manifested in how correctly we pronounce words, correctly build phrases, what vocabulary we have. The beauty of speech is judged primarily by the melodiousness of its sound, the distinctness of articulation. An excellent phonetic school is the systematic listening to announcer's speech on radio and television. A qualified public speech of a lecturer is always extremely clear and understandable, even if he talks about complex things. The lecturer resorts to synonyms, i.e., concepts that are close, but not identical in meaning. They allow you to characterize things, phenomena, processes accurately and comprehensively, with all shades.

According to the writer L. V. Uspensky, the richness, beauty and expressiveness of the language depend mainly on what words and how we use them. The more cultured a person is, the more subtle he feels the linguistic shades. Take, for example, the verb "to speak" and the adjective "actual." Imagine that a friend supports your thought in a conversation like this: “You have spoken the actual truth.” Today, the verb "spoke" has an ironic connotation, and the words "actual", "truth" are borrowed from the everyday speech of scientists. The spoken phrase is perceived as clothes from someone else's shoulder. It could have been put more simply: "You are talking about topical things."

As they mature and expand life experience our vocabulary is enriched. If the active stock of a child is 3600 words, a teenager - 9000, then an adult - 11,700, an erudite - 13,500. The vocabulary of outstanding speakers, poets, writers is even richer. W. Shakespeare and A. S. Pushkin had a vocabulary close to 20,000.

A cultured person is distinguished by a clear understanding of the meaning of each word that he uses. Inaccurate, erroneous use of words inexorably betrays a low general culture. “I'm tired of running distances, filling out documents,” the girl complains. It is clear that she does not distinguish between sufficiently popular concepts - "distance" (distance) and "instance" (institution), with which a literate person is usually familiar.

If you are unsure of the meaning of a word, feel free to look into dictionary. Solving charades, crosswords, chainwords and other linguistic games is not at all an empty pastime, it contributes to speech enrichment.

Expressing one's thoughts in public is always associated with a certain emotional tension. At the same time, one person experiences more, the other less. Excitement can adversely affect the content of the speech, the answer in the lesson, making them insecure, confused. He shows less nervousness and excitement, who has well prepared a lesson or speech. Speech ease is an indicator of thorough preparation.

Speech is clogged with clericalism and jargon. Let's give concrete examples. At a meeting of the student committee of the dormitory, the speaker said: “On a public line, in accordance with the plan educational work I was instructed to conduct a hygiene check in the accommodation rooms. As a result of the inspection, omissions were found in the sanitary condition of the premises. We must resolutely raise the question before the residents about the observance of the rules.

And here is the speech of the student who spoke at the meeting: “I will speak about discipline. In the group, there were cases of non-attendance at training sessions without good reason. We must engage in a resolute struggle against passes without valid reasons.

In these speeches there is no expressive coloring, that is, that which characterizes colloquial speech. It would be quite possible to do without clerical turns that deaden speech: “along the public line”, “in accordance with the plan”, “in the living rooms”, “as a result of the inspection”, “in the matter of the sanitary condition”, “regarding discipline”, “have taken place”, “omissions have been discovered”, “raise the question”, “raise the level”, “engage in a decisive struggle”.

And how can you say it easier and clearer? In the first case, something like this: “I was instructed to check the cleanliness of the rooms. Not all girls follow it. We must finally demand that they adhere to the rules. In the second case; “I will talk about discipline. Some of us skip classes for no good reason. I think we need to be more strict with truants.”

This begs the question: is any clerical turnover a lack of speech? Of course not. Chancellery is an important variety of literary language. They facilitate the preparation of business papers: instructions, recommendations, laws, helping to formulate an idea with the utmost precision and unambiguity, to prevent arbitrariness in the interpretation of official documents. Only when they get into living speech do clericalisms litter it. According to K. I. Chukovsky, this language ailment is particularly harmful, leading speech to thinness, frailty.

Speaking of cliches as a speech defect, we must not forget that it is impossible to do without some of them. Our dialogues constantly include such standard phrases as “good afternoon”, “congratulations on the holiday”, “forgive me, please”, etc. Applications, protocols are written according to a certain template, certificates are drawn up.

The interlocutor is unfavorably impressed by hackneyed expressions, the endless repetition of other people's witticisms, primitive speech reactions for any reason, such as "world", "brilliance", "fantastic", etc.

A meager vocabulary forces one to abuse words - “empty flowers” ​​that do not carry a semantic load: “means”, “so to speak”, “generally speaking”, etc. Forced pauses are filled with interjections “e”, “m”, “me”, etc., adverbs like “very”, pronouns “this”, “this is the most”, endlessly used out of place. Such strained speech is difficult and unpleasant to listen to.

Often one has to deal with young people whose speech is oversaturated with foreign terms, used not out of necessity, but to splurge, to demonstrate their "culture". Words such as “imported”, “ordinary”, “etsetera”, etc., inappropriately replacing the corresponding Russian equivalents: “foreign”, “ordinary”, “so on” do not leave their lips.

Boys and girls tend to speech looseness, a departure from the stereotype in the expression of thoughts and feelings. They are impressed by their age-appropriate means of communication, which distinguish them from adults as a social group. Youth jargon plays the role of a kind of password, according to which “their own” is unmistakably determined. But with the help of a rather poor set of buzzwords, it is difficult to express the diversity of human thoughts and experiences. For example, what is the verb “truncate” accepted in the youth environment? Its meaning is very vague and approximate.

According to experts, youth jargon does not have its own original vocabulary. Its source is professional speech (pilots, sailors, doctors, etc.), dialects, that is, local dialects, borrowings from other jargons.

Why is the older generation concerned about the commitment of the young to “their” language? The fact is that youth jargon is not only characterized by an impoverished vocabulary, but is also accompanied by a special worldview and demeanor. It has been noted that verbal vulgarism and frondery can provoke spiritual coarsening, a denial of the spiritual values ​​of our society.

K. I. Chukovsky regarded youth jargon as a short-lived growing pain. Most often, this ailment, like childhood measles, passes without any complications. It is a completely different matter when the attraction to jargon remains for life. “Language in this case,” emphasizes the well-known linguist L. I. Skvortsov, “severely avenges itself. Pitiful in his helplessness or ridiculous in deliberate vulgarity is the one who, outside the school or student sphere, pours, like a husk from seeds, empty inside and dashing outwardly words, like “cool”, “colossal”, “healing”, “dude”, “girl ".

In the speech of a cultured person, slang words can slip through for the sake of a joke, and no more. Their abundance clutters up the language, and most importantly, it makes it difficult for people to understand each other.

For many boys and girls, the village dialect is native, often sharply different from the literary language both lexically and phonetically. Folk speech is also a part of our culture, which has the right to a respectful and caring attitude. It is to her that the literary language owes its linguistic discoveries. Outstanding poets and writers - A. S. Pushkin, I. S. Turgenev, A. M. Gorky - drew from the people what gave their language vitality, expressive originality and amazing accuracy.

Folk proverbs and sayings still remain a storehouse of wisdom, the best decoration of any performance. They allow us to express our thoughts and feelings without superfluous words, extremely concisely.

When a village grandmother comes to visit us city dwellers, there is no reason to be ashamed of her peculiar dialect in front of friends, and it is not at all decent to strive to correct her every word.

Conversation 2.

The perception of the meaning of the words that we address to each other depends to a large extent on intonation, that is, on the rise or fall of the voice, its sound coloring.

Experts say that before turning to someone, we tune in to a certain speech tone. It determines the nature of the pronunciation of individual words and expressions. You can conduct a conversation respectfully and arrogantly, confidentially and wary, sincerely and coldly. Politeness "through the teeth" offends. Sound coloring can reinforce the meaning of the word, enhance it or contradict it. Sometimes they pronounce "I love" in such a way that the eye is equivalent to "I hate."

However, most often we strive to organically merge words and intonation.

The intonation of the statement is due to many circumstances: our well-being, experiences, character traits, age, vitality, etc.

The speech intonation of each person is individual, unique. Nevertheless, all people in different life situations choose the most appropriate tone. It is customary to stick to a high tone at solemn meetings. Neutral tone is characteristic of verbal communication in official institutions. Vulgar tone distinguishes people of low culture.

We are very sensitive to the tone of the interlocutor. And if it is chosen unsuccessfully, we immediately react. “Why are you talking to me like that? I'm not your friend!" - mother reprimands her son if he allowed swagger in communication. "Leave the mentoring tone!" - the husband protests if the wife abuses the imperative. We are outraged by the vulgar loudness, illegibility in expressions in resolving both family and industrial conflicts.

The speech of an educated person is distinguished by intonational and rhythmic restraint. He does not allow himself a vulgar, cheeky tone, inconsistency, fuzziness, avoids self-expression on elevated notes, spares the hearing and nerves of the interlocutor, does not tire with the thunderous peals of his voice, does not whine like a machine gun.

People who closely communicated with V. I. Lenin note the exceptional intonational richness of his speech. A. M. Gorky recalls: “He knew how to give an endless range of shades to the short, characteristic exclamation “hm-hm”, from caustic irony to cautious doubt, and often this “hm-hm” sounded sharp humor, accessible to a very sharp-sighted person, well who knows the diabolical absurdities of life."

They left an unforgettable impression public performance leader, and not only with deep content, but also with amazing expression.

The artist I. V. Ilyinsky spoke about the speech of V. I. Lenin at the Bolshoi Theater: “In the irresistibly convincing shades of his burring voice, all the intonations and colors needed by the speaker were present. Sometimes irony, sometimes sarcasm, sometimes bewilderment or peremptory conviction.

A. M. Gorky called the language a musical instrument, calling for learning to master it easily and beautifully. There are many specialties that require highly developed speech skills. Such are the professions of an actor and an announcer, a lawyer and a teacher. Possession of the basics of speech technology marks every cultured person.

First of all, the human word obeys the thought, and not vice versa. The content of the statement, that is, what we want to convey to the listener, determines the choice of vocabulary, intonation, and rhythm of speech. But if the information that the speaker reports is insignificant, uninteresting, irrelevant, then no oratorical tricks can save: neither the strength and euphony of the voice, nor the penetrating intonation. He risks losing the attention of listeners literally after the first phrases. A. V. Lunacharsky noted: “You can learn the technique of speaking, but a speaker who does not have something to say, of course, is zero, a greater zero than a stutterer who cannot say ...”

Each voice has its own sound range. However, after special work, you can expand the register of beautiful-sounding notes, both low and high. This gives greater flexibility, mobility to the voice, expands its expressive possibilities. Nothing is so tiring as the tedious monotony of speech.

You should also take care of the purity of the sound of your voice, polishing the natural timbre, that is, its color, getting rid of nasality, shrillness, hoarseness and other defects.

Clear diction, i.e., distinct pronunciation, correct articulation of all sounds, is also important. Illegible spoken words make listeners overstrain, making it difficult to understand the meaning. Remember how unpleasant it is to hear when the driver of the transport inarticulately announces stops.

The perception of speech also depends on the pace, i.e. the speed of pronouncing words and phrases. Of course, much here is determined by the temperament of a person. The speech of the phlegmatic is unhurried, measured. But a sanguine person can get carried away and speak too quickly.

Mastering the technique of speech, clear diction is not easy, but if desired, it is possible. When the ancient Greek orator Demosthenes made his first public speech, the people interrupted him, frankly making fun of his lisp. Then he retired for months, having previously shaved half his head. So it was easier for him to overcome the temptation to appear in public without achieving his goal. Thanks to persistent work on himself, he became a renowned master of eloquence.

Speech is the main means of communication. However, does it only allow us to make contact and understand each other? A perplexed look, a smile, a nod of the head, a shrug of the shoulders, gestures act as a kind of accompaniment to the sounding word. These means of communication, in contrast to speech, verbal, are called non-verbal.

There are gestures that are decent, graceful, and coarse, obscene, violating aesthetic norms and therefore subject to a ban. A cultured person does not threaten with his fist, does not bang on the table with it in irritation, does not beat his chest for greater persuasiveness, does not tease someone by sticking out his tongue, does not spit in anger, etc.

Most Europeans are outwardly reserved. Cubans and Mexicans are distinguished by a pronounced gestural liveliness.

During a trip around the world, English psychologist Michael Archil calculated that during an hour-long conversation, a Finn makes 1, an Italian 80, a Frenchman 120, and a Mexican 180 gestures.

Gestures are changeable. And fashion is inexorably invading this area of ​​human behavior. Movies, television, international meetings contribute to a certain unification of our manners. Remember how we now wave goodbye. 10-20 years ago it was a movement of the brush back and forth, but now only children and old people do this. The Western European gesture - left - right - is taking root more and more.

Nothing is more appreciated than the simplicity and naturalness of behavior. The mannerisms, theatricality of gestures and body movements cause antipathy, distrust, and sometimes outright ridicule.

A. M. Gorky, describing the appearance of Vladimir Ilyich, notes: “His movements were light, dexterous, and stingy, but a strong gesture was in complete harmony with his speech, also stingy with words, abundant thought. And on the face, of the Mongolian type, those sharp eyes of a tireless fighter against the lies and grief of life burned, they burned, squinting, winking, smiling ironically, sparkling with anger.

While involuntary in nature, gestures are nevertheless subject to our control. Each person can get rid of ugly gestures, show motor discipline, acquire graceful, aesthetically expressive facial expressions and gestures.

People's Artist of the USSR B. Andreev emphasized: “The ability to externally express the form of mental states we need is not an acting ability, but a universal ability ... The language of external expressiveness of feelings must be educated and understood in the same way as all the subtlety and beauty of human speech is educated and understood by a person” .

When they speak of a person who is distinguished by a special charm, they certainly call him openness, friendliness. Friends of the popular songwriter Y. Vizbor, who passed away early, emphasize precisely this trait of his. Y. Kim recalls: “He has a wonderful smile that instantly disposes to him: “Hello, we are all our people here, let's sing something ...” His whole face radiates this friendly invitation and is so contagious that those gathered nearby unites with him a wave of sympathy for this man.

For most nations, a smile is an indispensable attribute of friendly communication, reliable way locate, establish contacts. True, smiles are also different, not only sincere, benevolent, radiant, but also cunning, artificial, sham. However, if you are observant enough, you can figure out when this is just a deliberate grimace, and when it is an expression of true cordiality.

The Japanese smile never leaves their faces. So they express not only disposition towards a partner. The Japanese smile has many meanings. "It can hide sadness, because it is considered indecent to show one's grief in public. It is obligatory in official communication, the professional behavior of a doctor. This is also a way of showing everyday politeness and sincere experience of joy.

The American, as a sign of sympathy, bestows an unusually wide smile on his interlocutor. But this is more of an etiquette convention than a manifestation of truly friendly feelings.

To understand whether a smile is sincere or not, it is enough to carefully look into the eyes of the interlocutor. Remember how unmistakably the mother reveals the lie of the child in his eyes. Psychologists have established that it is the eyes and their expression that carry the most accurate information about a person's experiences. Our custom prescribes to look at each other in a conversation, to remove sunglasses when meeting.

Conversation 3.

Politeness formulas are speech stereotypes that accompany our everyday contacts: “good afternoon”, “please”, “excuse me”, “I beg your pardon”, etc. It seems to many that politeness formulas are necessary only in business interaction, but in their own family "breeding ceremonies" is unnecessary. Such an attitude to speech etiquette is devoid of reason. The fact is that politeness formulas have a serious meaning, they are socially approved norms of communication, reflecting a careful attitude, respect for a person. Why, for example, when meeting with a friend and good acquaintances, it is customary to inquire about well-being? Because this is an elementary manifestation of interest in him. Indifference to the interlocutor is not conducive to confidential communication.

Relatives, the closest people can be offended if you unceremoniously abuse the words “give”, “buy”, “bring”, forgetting about the truly magical words “be kind”, “I ask you”, “is it not difficult for you”, etc.

And take an appeal. It is much more pleasant when you are called not by “Masha” and “Vaska”, but by “Masha” and “Vasenka”.

In Russian, there are two ways to address each other: on "you" and on "you". “You” is addressed to strangers or unfamiliar people, as well as to elders. "You" symbolizes close, friendly relations. So they talk with grandparents, father and mother, brother and sister, wife or husband, as well as with classmates, fellow students, children. True, the traditions of individual regions of our country should also be taken into account. For example, in western Belarus, it is customary to address parents with the warmest relationships with “you”.

In formal communication, "you" is the preferred form, even between friends. For example, during teaching practice in the presence of students, students call each other “you”, by name and patronymic, as is customary between teachers.

A leader of any rank should address his subordinates as "you". Only recognized authorities are given the privilege of using a one-sided "you." Those who closely knew Academician I.V. Kurchatov say that he called individual employees “you” as a sign of special trust.

Pupils, students, even graduates of schools and universities perceive this manner of their favorite teachers as the norm.

In everyday communication, the transition of acquaintances from “you” to “you” indicates mutual alienation.

It is indecent to address anyone with "Hey, you?" or "Hey you!" It is not customary to talk about someone present in the third person (he, she), not to call him by name. The youth are addressed: “girl”, “young man”, to children - “boy”, “girl”.

The choice of the type of treatment is essential. How often do we hear the phrase in the tram and trolleybus: "Woman (man), please break through the ticket." And although they seem to address us politely, to “you”, but every time such a request is shocking by the primitiveness, vulgarity of the address. One feels like saying: “You can’t address anyone like that. Do you really distinguish others only on the basis of gender?

To strangers in transport, in a store, on the street, it is best to address like this: “Be kind ...”, “Do not refuse courtesy ...”, etc. In relations with administrative persons, the following formulas are used: comrade + surname (comrade Ivanov) , or comrade + position (comrade manager), or just name + patronymic.

The boss can address a subordinate by his last name (Ivanov) or: comrade + last name; it is customary to show emphatic courtesy to older workers, calling them by name and patronymic.

Students who do not personally know the teacher can refer to him as “comrade teacher”.

Patients are addressed to the attending physician - "doctor", other medical personnel - "nanny", "sister". However, it is best to address by name and patronymic.

In the store, to the seller and cashier, in the cinema to the usher, on the train to the conductor, on the bus it is customary to address the driver as “comrade ...”. If this form seems too formal, you can limit yourself to a more vague one: "Be kind ...", "Please ...", "Do not refuse the courtesy ..."

In turn, the buyer, client, passenger is called “comrade buyer”, “comrade passenger”, etc. by employees of the service sector.

It is impolite to address strangers with the words "aunt", "uncle", "mother", "dad", "grandmother", "grandfather". Not every older man or woman likes it when someone, albeit involuntarily, emphasizes their age.

Caution should be exercised with playful nicknames and nicknames so as not to offend someone, not to alienate yourself, not to involuntarily inspire an inferiority complex, that is, a distorted idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhis personality, his capabilities. Remember how deep despair young Lena Bessoltseva, the heroine of the movie "Scarecrow", comes to because of the mocking nickname that her classmates awarded her.

By the way, the writer N. G. Pomyalovsky in the famous “Essays of the Bursa” convincingly showed that insulting, degrading nicknames and nicknames to a greater extent characterize not those to whom they are given, but those who invent them.

A connoisseur of speech etiquette N. I. Formanovskaya rightly compares the appeal to acquaintances, friends, relatives, colleagues, passers-by with playing a complex musical instrument that requires an accurate choice of register and tonality.

All of us, without exception - old and young, big boss and ordinary worker - need a hearty and sincere "hello". And this is far from being a simple formality, as it sometimes seems.

Californian psychiatrist E. Berne figuratively called greetings "strokes" designed to win people over to each other.

However, does any greeting please and inspire us? Doesn't it happen that it offends, causing sorrowful reflections: "Well, why did he (she) so carelessly nodded his head?", "Why does he (she) have so much humiliating arrogance?"

First of all, it is important to choose the most appropriate, priaeta words. If this is an older person, use the formula "hello" -j- name and patronymic. You can greet like this: “good morning”, “good afternoon”, “good evening”. With friendly communication, they now often use a short “hello” and even “salute”, especially among young people.

It is more polite to call a name at a meeting, not limited to the pronunciation of greeting formulas. The impersonal "hello" is perceived by us more indifferently than the one accompanied by the name. It is by no means the same as to say hello, to say at a meeting: “Good afternoon, Ivan Petrovich” - or to confine oneself to the formula “good afternoon”. When they remember not only your face, but also your name, it's nice.

The children of adults are always the first to greet, the young - the elderly, the man - the woman, the incoming - those present.

A woman has the right to be the first to extend her hand. The exception is the case when she greets the boss. In official communication, a handshake is a sign of a special disposition of an official towards a subordinate.

Etiquette does not require a woman to shake hands. And a man should not be offended by her for this. Scientists explain the optional handshake for women by the fact that this greeting was characteristic of knights, that is, those who carried weapons.

Culture is also manifested in kindly answering everyone who greets us, even if they misunderstand. If you have to face someone you know several times a day, then it is customary in some way - with a smile, a nod of the head - to express the pleasure of the meeting. When greeting a passing woman, a man lifts his hat or cap, but not a fur hat or beret. When shaking hands, he is instructed to remove the glove. If a woman is wearing mittens, then she should do it too. In case the gloves are thin, she is given the privilege of not exposing her hand.

Having come to visit, they first greet the hostess and the owner, and then with other guests. You can shake hands with each guest, starting with the one who is closer. When the greeting is pronounced, the seated man or woman is instructed to stand up or rise. On the street, it is customary to greet acquaintances a few steps before you catch up with them. If someone noticed us on the other side of the street, it is enough to wave to him. Shouting greetings is indecent.

After a long separation from loved ones, relatives hug and kiss three times. If the son is limited to shaking hands, having met his father from a business trip, this looks unjustifiably official. One can understand the resentment of the grandmother who came to visit if we limit ourselves to pronouncing greeting formulas, refusing to give her a kindred kiss.

The laws of hospitality require expressing the joy of meeting. In this case, in addition to the generally accepted greeting formulas, it is customary to say: “welcome”, “welcome”, “glad to see you”, “it’s good that you have arrived”, etc.

Before you say goodbye, you need to prepare the hosts for the fact that you are going to leave. Sometimes it is a reminder of the late hour, an expression of gratitude for a pleasant conversation, an apology for the time taken.

After the guest has said goodbye, you should say: “do not forget”, “call”, “come”, “let me know”. Wishes are also appropriate: “all the best”, “do not get sick”, “good journey”, “pleasant journey”, “good hour”, etc.

In turn, the one who is being escorted says: “happily stay”, “do not remember dashingly”, etc.

Conversation 4.

Every person, regardless of age, gender, social status, needs from time to time trusting communication that relieves emotional stress. Psychologists note the lack of sincere, cordial interaction between people. In order to compensate to some extent for this lack of human relationships, psychotherapeutic groups are being created in polyclinics. This is also the purpose of the new service - hotlines, which everyone can use.

Not everyone, even the most close person able to lighten our souls in difficult times.

The meaning of friendship, according to the philosopher F. Bacon, is to free the heart of a friend from experiences.

It is not easy to have a confidential conversation with a friend, an acquaintance, and sometimes even a stranger who expects spiritual support from us, because it is always the work of our soul, the tension of the mind, feelings and will.

The main feature of this kind of conversation is a sincere disposition towards the interlocutor, heartfelt empathy and compassion. “Compassion,” writes M. Shaginyan, “is the ability to transform for a short or long time into someone else’s fate and other people’s living conditions and enter into the state of mind of another person, as if they suddenly became your own.”

In such a situation, it is important to let the interlocutor talk. He craves first and foremost an interested, patient listener. It is inappropriate to interrupt him, to ask questions, especially those that betray our curiosity. We need to learn to appreciate the trust placed in us and keep in the strictest confidence what we were told about intimate experiences in moments of frankness.

Why is it so important to give the interlocutor the opportunity to speak more fully? Because it helps him to better understand the current life situation. Thinking aloud allows a person to better understand himself and others, to come to the right conclusion. Although it is believed that it is more visible from the outside, one must abandon peremptory judgments and impose one's own advice and decisions. The main thing is to help a person objectively assess the situation, raise his vitality, and establish faith in his own strength.

There is a category of people who consider it their dignity to always “cut the truth-womb”. Probably, in all cases, to say what is in the language, to give categorical assessments of behavior is unreasonable, and sometimes tactless. Another thing is if you are asked to express a frank view of something. It's not fair to lie here.

However, there are times when it is not customary to tell the truth. For example, if it can seriously injure a person. Restraint in negative assessments is necessary when talking about someone in his absence.

Conversation 5.

Without polemics, i.e., clashes in the conversation of different, sometimes polar points of view, one cannot do. It is a tried and tested way of rejecting outdated, erroneous views and affirming new, advanced ideas, gaining firm convictions. However, a fundamental dispute often ends in a primitive quarrel and mutual insults of the participants. This happens if the rules of behavior are violated in the dialogue.

You have to argue in the family with your family, at work with colleagues, in a study group with fellow students, and even in the company of friends. Actually, any fruitful human communication involves tactful overcoming of contradictions that inexorably arise in the process of clash of interests, needs, tastes, etc. Age, gender, education, occupation, profession, life path leave an imprint on the worldview of everyone. We are all different. However, views, ideas can be modern and backward, scientific and not rising above the philistine level, helping to make the right decisions and disorienting in life.

Finding a common language with someone is always difficult, and sometimes painful. A dispute is a reliable way to resolve serious, fundamental disagreements not only in the industrial, business sphere, but also in everyday household relationships. There are many situations in life when a direct, impartial conversation is more necessary than compliance. In certain cases, softness and delicacy can be perceived as weakness. If we refuse to fight against ignorance, dishonesty, injustice, then they triumph.

Sometimes good manners are mixed with conflict-free. It's a delusion. Yes, conflicts are associated with acute emotional experiences and excitement. But they play not only a negative, but also a positive role.

There are conflicts that destroy contacts (petty quarrels, ugly scandals), and conflicts that contribute to the acquisition of worldview unity and mutual understanding. After all, it is not uncommon when yesterday's opponents, getting to know each other better in disputes, become like-minded people and even friends.

The fear of openly expressing one's disagreement, spoiling the relationship turns into unscrupulousness, leads to the rooting of delusions, making erroneous decisions.

And yet, there are situations when the discussion is meaningless. Its fruitfulness implies one important condition: the opponents must have a common language. There is no reason to enter into a serious debate with an ignoramus who does not have elementary concepts about the subject of the dispute. Empty talk, a demagogue will not be convinced by the strongest scientific evidence. If you meet with this kind of opponent, good breeding manifests itself in the ability to restrain yourself, to evade a serious conversation, because there is no point in starting it.

The culture of a dispute begins with a sincere desire to understand the position of the opponent, to understand in detail his arguments.

Strong emotional arousal during a dispute prevents an objective analysis of the situation. Therefore, it is important to calm down, pull yourself together, avoid hasty reactions to the opponent's words, paying attention not so much to how he says, but to what he says.

If the disputants do not understand each other's fundamental positions, then the dialogue turns into inconsistent, pointless ranting, resulting in petty nit-picking about particulars, details, accidental slips and reservations. As a result, a wall of misunderstanding and mutual irritation grows between them.

So, understanding the essence of the opponent's position is an elementary condition for the fruitfulness of the dispute.

The one who can convincingly argue each of his thesis wins. At the same time, decency obliges to operate with reliable knowledge and verified facts. V. I. Lenin repeatedly emphasized that even in the fight against a political opponent, not all means are good.

Insulting attacks against the personality of the opponent are a forbidden technique. There is an old fair rule: in search of truth, one should not get personal, that is, be distracted by clarifying one's relationship.

In a dispute, one inevitably has to note the fallacy of the opponent's judgments. However, cultured people do this tactfully, without humiliating anyone's dignity. It makes sense to abandon the excessive categorical tone, using such expressions as: “we still need to think about this issue”, “it is quite possible that not everything in your decision is indisputable”, etc.

Impeccable politeness stimulates the opponent's self-criticism to a greater extent than peremptory criticism.

Sometimes it seems that victory in an argument necessarily means the complete surrender of the opponent, an open recognition of his defeat. Beliefs develop over the years. Therefore, it is reckless to count on their instant transformation. If your arguments planted a seed of doubt in the soul of your opponent, then we can assume that they turned out to be quite convincing.

Conversation 6.

We enter into communication with other people and through correspondence. Most often I have to write to relatives, relatives, friends, acquaintances. However, is it only them? And what about the statements, petitions, complaints that we send to official institutions? These are also letters. There are two main types of letters: personal and business.

Personal letters are always a mental dialogue with the addressee. They are characterized by a conversational form. There can be no standard here. The choice of address and greeting depends on our feelings, on the nature of contacts - family, love, friendship. Probably, in a letter from a loved one, they expect special intimacy, sincerity literally from the first lines. “Beloved” and “beloved”, “darling” and “darling” and much more are appropriate here.

At the end of the letter, it is customary to say goodbye and put your name. Here are possible various options: “goodbye”, “see you”, “goodbye”, “respectfully”, “with cordial greetings”, “kiss”, etc. The name that is placed under the letter says a lot to the addressee. Let's compare "your Tanya" and "Tatiana", "your Sergey Ivanovich" and "your Seryozha". The diminutive name in combination with the pronouns “your”, “your”, “your”, “your” speaks of the closeness of the relationship, emphasizing devotion, love, respect.

However, it is indecent to stray into familiarity with someone with whom you are not yet familiar enough. In such cases, it is appropriate to address - "dear Maria Ivanovna", and to a friend with a high social status - "respected Ivan Petrovich".

In letters, it is important to choose a topic that meets the interests of the partner.

Parents want to know everything about their children, it is important for them to be aware of their joys and sorrows. However, the tearful letters of a daughter or son that cause pity can seriously upset and worsen the well-being of older people. Difficulties are inevitable in everyone's life. Girls and boys are acutely worried about them, but also quickly forgotten. And the mother, having received a sad message, is unsettled for a long time. Therefore, it is probably not worth writing a letter to your parents in a bad mood. Thinking over the content of your letter, it is necessary to take into account the circumstances of life and the individual identity of the addressee: a hopeless bachelor, probably, tactlessly describe his family joys; in a sick person, first of all, it is important to inquire about his health, try to somehow encourage, console him; if someone has troubles at work, then it is appropriate to keep silent about their production successes.

If the exchange of correspondence is not stable, it makes sense to indicate your address twice; on the envelope and at the end of the letter.

The text of a personal letter can be typed, but this is more appropriate in business correspondence. If it is printed, it is advisable to add a few lines by hand and, of course, sign.

Letters sent on especially important occasions (congratulations, condolences) are always written in one's own hand. It is also a sign of attention and respect.

Congratulatory letters or postcards are sent when they want to express good wishes in connection with the anniversary, wedding, birthday, red date of the calendar, New Year and other occasions. They delight with optimism, cordiality, sincerity of tone, originality. Not only the content is important here, but also a tastefully chosen postcard and an appropriate envelope.

It is customary to seal congratulations on especially important occasions in an envelope.

In the event of the death of a relative, an acquaintance, if it is not possible to participate in the funeral, they send condolences, a laconic expression of their sympathy, tactful consolation in grief.

Can't be neglected accepted rules letter formatting. The addressee is not indifferent to what paper it is written on, whether blots are allowed. All these details reflect the attitude towards him.

In the right corner on top of the text or at its end on the left, it is customary to put the date (day, month, year) and the place of writing. The custom of dating letters is by no means a trifle. This is especially important for someone who has a habit of keeping his correspondence. How grateful we are to the author for this clarification, when we take it into our heads to re-read the letters years later!

It is customary to fold letters when sending text inside.

Business letters are typed on a typewriter one and a half to two intervals on the front side of the sheet. Margins on the left are required, at least two centimeters. The title, date, address of the recipient are important.

They end a business letter with such courtesy formulas: “thanks in advance”, “very grateful”, “I express my gratitude”, “I will be grateful if you answer”, “with deep respect”, “with great respect”, etc.

Under the business letter, the surname and initials are placed indicating the occupation (student, worker), position (teacher, associate professor), profession (steelworker), title (honored worker of science).

It is customary to respond to letters immediately, especially when we receive congratulations, souvenirs, gifts, indicating special attention to us. If you have to wait with the answer, then they start the letter with an apology: “I’m sorry that I don’t write right away,” “I hope you will excuse me,” etc.

Well-mannered people do not read other people's letters, just as they do not eavesdrop on conversations not intended for them.

It happens that we transmit our messages through third parties. Etiquette prescribes in such cases not to seal the envelope as a sign of trust in the person whose services you have to resort to.

Perhaps the most common business paper that everyone has to compose is a statement. It is written in the following form. The addressee is indicated in the right corner of the sheet. For example: "To the director of Minsk vocational school No. 10." On the line below, we put our initials and surname in the genitive case, indicate the address. For example: "L. I. Petroz, who lives in Borisov on the street. Lenina, 8, apt. 26". If the name of an administrative person is known, then it is called with the word "comrade". The word "statement" as the name of a business letter is written in the middle of the sheet with a lowercase letter.

The place and date of departure are indicated at the end of the text, on the left side, and the signature is on the right.

Conversation 7.

The telephone has become an integral part of our everyday life. And although it is often complained that it has depleted our contacts, has replaced live, direct communication, most people perceive it as a great blessing.

The culture of telephone dialogue begins with the mutual desire of partners to speak clearly and loudly enough, but without a deafening forcing of the voice. This is important so as not to make the interlocutor guess the meaning of barely audible words.

It is always customary to politely greet those who pick up the phone, and in case of uncertainty, if there is a mistake in dialing the number. For example: “Hi, sorry, is this 363005? Thank you. If possible, invite Maria Ivanovna.”

Be sure to introduce yourself to the person you are disturbing with the call. It is advisable to give not only the last name, but also the first name and patronymic, so that the interlocutor does not have to feverishly remember them. For example: "This is Claudia Petrovna Ivanova, your colleague."

In all cases, it is indecent to start a conversation with an unceremonious question: “Who is this?” If necessary, the formula is more acceptable: “Excuse me, who am I talking to?”

If they make a mistake with the number, be sure to apologize for the trouble. The respondent is also supposed to be tolerant. It's not nice to hang up the phone in annoyance.

It is customary to respond differently from office and home phones. At the workplace, the replica is more common: “Petrov is at the phone”, from the apartment - “Yes”, “Hello, they are listening to you.” When we call someone, it is important to remember that the subscriber does not always have time to talk. There may be a meeting, a meeting, etc. in an institution. The owners of the apartment may have their urgent occupations. Therefore, if a sufficiently long conversation is expected, then you need to inquire whether it will tear you away from some more important matters. If the interlocutor said that he had guests, it is advisable to apologize and hang up.

If during the dialogue it becomes necessary to open the front door or look into the kitchen, etc., you should apologize for the forced pause. However, it is indecent to force someone to sit alone with a pipe for several minutes. In such cases, it is advisable to end the conversation and call back at the promised time.

Not every apartment has a telephone, and it is only natural that, in case of emergency, the neighbors "apply with a request:" May I call you? cultured people are not in the habit of refusing such courtesy. However, it is ugly to sit at someone else's device, calling your friends and acquaintances, testing the patience of the owners. Only the most important, short conversations are appropriate here, without which it is impossible to do: calling a doctor, a taxi, reporting urgent information, etc. Etiquette obliges the owners of the apartment in this case to leave the guest alone so as not to embarrass him, not to listen to other people's conversations.

We feel more directly when we use a public pay phone. However, here, too, conversations are limited in time and should not exceed three minutes. If you have to conduct a long conversation, then it is customary to apologize to those waiting in line. If the desired number is busy, then they do not linger in the cabin, giving the opportunity to talk to someone else, and only then make a second attempt to get through.

In conclusion, let's listen to the witty advice of K. Chapek: 1. Do not call idle. 2. If you call, then be patient so that the subscriber has enough time to run to the device. 3. The phone is not fun, but a means of saving time; the conversation should be short, like a telegram. That is when the ear does not get wet from the handset, and someone does not have to dial the same number endlessly, because he is busy.