Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 9 minutes

A A

Modern couples in our 21st century world are conventionally divided into 3 categories - couples with children, couples who want babies but cannot have them, and couples who are called "childfree" (approx. - "free from children"). The last group clearly stands out from the rest and causes constant "seething" in society.

Who are these "childfree" and how are their relations with the outside world?

What does childfree mean - the pros and cons of marriage without children

The term "Childfree" appeared in the 20th century, when the movement of people "free from children" was born in the 70s.

At the origins of this trend, which began in the United States against the backdrop of the struggle for freedom, equality and rights, were two American feminists - who, in fact, laid the foundation for the national American organization of "non-parents" (approx. - NON).

The organization stubbornly tried to convey to the conservative society main idea, around which, in fact, this society was formed - a woman is not obliged to give birth, if she does not want to. Previously, the conscious rejection of motherhood was considered a sign of a woman's mental or physical problems, and members of the organization's movement decided to prove the opposite.

Already in the 80s, the movement received a new name - Childfree, and the idea of ​​abandoning children began its journey around the world and an intensive movement "to the masses."

In Russia, Childfree couples began to appear in the late 90s. And, although today this movement is well known all over the world, and no one is surprised by the abandonment of children in favor of their own “I”, nevertheless, the attitude towards childfree couples in Russia, which is true to tradition, is still ambiguous to this day.

What are the pros and cons of living without children?

Among the advantages of a childless life, childfree themselves distinguish the following:

• No child - no "third" , which pulls the blanket and love over itself. That is, the husband and wife entirely belong only to each other, and love is shared only by the two of them, due to which, according to childfree, this love will not change even after years.
• No career issues . No children - no permanent sick leave, early departures from work, and so on. Childless employees are always a joy for superiors.
• Comfort in the house : no one cries, no one asks, no noise, no drawing on documents and wallpaper, no one interferes with personal relationships at night.
• Financial savings. As you know, children always require considerable investments - from birth to infinity. In the absence of children, there are no extra expenses and sudden expenses.
• Personal time . Children practically do not leave time for themselves, for hobbies, for their own interests, and even just for rest. In the absence of children, personal time is enough to maintain peace of mind and generally enjoy life.
• Full " sex life» . Intimacy between spouses in the presence of children quickly loses its attractiveness, and there is no time left for it. And if there is time, then there is no strength left, because dad is exhausted by work during the day, and mom is exhausted by children.
• Possibility to save perfect figure . After childbirth, a woman invariably changes - her breasts sag, stretch marks appear, excess weight and puffiness.

Cons of a family life in which there are no children:

1. Man and woman are not realized as father and mother.
2. In the eyes of others, including close relatives, the childfree family will always be “incomplete”.
3. All the joys of the birth of a baby will pass by a couple of childfree.
4. Old age will be lonely even if he and she live together until old age - children will not come to visit, grandchildren will not come, no one will visit in the hospital, and even no one will come to the grave after death.

Why we do not want children - a psychologist on the reasons for choosing a childfree family by a couple

"What's wrong with them?" - This is what most parents and couples think in vain and for a long time trying to have babies.

In fact, nothing special happens to childfree couples - it's just that everyone has a reason for not having children in their lives.

Among the main reasons, psychologists note:

• Unwillingness to give up all "goods" that become inaccessible when children appear - finances, personal time, personal life, travel, etc. Simply put, the desire to live only for yourself.
• Unwillingness to "produce poverty" . Many couples do not have children, realizing that they will not be able to give the children everything they need - better education, better medical / service, recreation, housing.
• Lack of square meters . It often becomes a reason for abandoning children, however, in this case, a couple is not necessarily considered a “childfree” - when living conditions change, the principles often change. They can also change in case of accidental pregnancy, when it no longer matters how many square meters your miracle will appear with a father's character and mother's eyes.
• Dislike for children . Not hate, just dislike. Such people can happily communicate with strangers, but trying on the role of parents for them is akin to the worst nightmare.
• Infantilism and selfishness . "They are still children themselves." It is not uncommon to find couples today in which people over 30 are still marked by childishness, a lack of understanding of responsibility, and an unwillingness to think about the future. The desire to become parents may never come to them. Especially if both in a couple are too fond of life, not burdened by anything.
• Childhood psychological trauma . Fear of repeating the model of parental behavior that today's childfree faced in childhood themselves.
• protest against public policy , in which citizens are actively encouraged to "give birth more" to improve the demographic situation.

Of course, childfree men and women have their own reasons for abandoning children.

For example, men do not want to take on a heavy financial burden, and girls do not want to give up a beautiful figure and freedom.

But childfree pairs are formed only when both partners have similar beliefs.

Childfree and childhat - how do they differ?

The terms "childfree" and "childhait" are often confused, and even put on the same level of both pairs, which is fundamentally wrong.

Voluntarily choosing a life without children is not necessarily the result of hatred for children.

• Childfree couples can treat children with a lot of love and attention - babysitting the children of friends and relatives, messing around with nephews, working in education. Childfree couples are free from children in their personal lives, but not from loving them in general.
• As for childhayt couples, they are just considered to be deto-haters. . However, such a movement, unlike childfree, does not exist in the world for one simple reason: childhat is, for the most part, teenagers and young people who are simply not yet ripe for motherhood and fatherhood. In addition, it is important to note that child haters are also found among already established parents, which is certainly sad.

It is not difficult to distinguish them in ordinary life: childhaters always publicly demonstrate their hatred for children, up to aggression.

This is not observed for representatives of childfree.

The childfree family and the attitude of others towards them - how not to become outcasts and gently bypass uncomfortable questions about marriage without children?

What is a family without children? This is not only a territory of freedom from responsibility, but also a cell of society that is devoid of that very cementing element.

Childfree couples live together because they feel good together - and they don't need anyone else.

How do people around childfree families relate to them?

1. Envy. Childfree couples can enjoy each other without being distracted by children and the problems associated with them. They pay attention to each other, travel light, attend any events, do not lose attraction to each other, and so on. It is clear that all these joys can be available to parents, but, as a rule, there is enough time and energy for such a life for each other only in the period “before the birth of children”. Therefore, secretly, many mothers and fathers, tortured by family problems, envy childfree couples.
2. Approve. Moreover, both childless couples and couples with children can approve this lifestyle.
3. get annoyed and consider life without children an abnormality that contradicts the very nature of man.
4. Pay no attention according to the principle “to give birth or not to give birth is a personal matter for everyone”.

In fact, the latter are the majority today.

In modern society, families without children no longer surprise anyone, because the era of consumption has firmly entered our lives, replacing traditional values ​​with self-love. Rarely does anyone consider it selfish to refuse children in family life- and, in general, such couples do not really stand out against the background of couples with babies.

From the point of view of human rights and freedoms, only he himself can decide whether he needs children in life, or whether he still needs to live for himself, his beloved, and for her, his beloved.

One thing is for sure - childfree couples owe nothing to anyone, and are not to blame for anyone. They themselves choose - whom to love, how to live, give birth or not give birth - like all other families. Therefore, pangs of conscience are absolutely useless here, and such people become outcasts in society in very rare cases and, probably, under special circumstances.

But there is a way out too:

• "Smile and wave" . Again, parents ask - "well, when will you give birth already?"? Learn to answer in monosyllables and in general terms, without going into details, according to the principle of “he said it like he cut it off”.
• Answer a question with a question. The principle of "reflection" perfectly helps to avoid unnecessary questions and switch the conversation to the interlocutor.
• Humor – the best weapon in any situation.
• Love to argue? Do you have a desire to fight? Then we turn the minuses into pluses and use the reciprocal iron arguments.
• You can't change the situation - you can only change your attitude towards it. A philosophical view of certain things is top notch.

It is important for every woman to realize herself in the role of a mother. But the decision is up to the woman herself.

The concept of childfree is not as new as it seems. It was first used in the 70s. last century. Families without children are becoming more common, at least according to the adherents of this trend. Let's find out what actually is a childfree, what are its pros and cons. There are many controversial points here, which makes the topic especially interesting.

Who are childfree and how do they appear

Modern families are classified into different categories depending on how children appeared in them. There are families that are completely prosperous, where babies were born by mutual agreement and were planned. Most often there are no claims against them until the number of children is so large that the parents cannot support them. Then society begins to criticize parents, to make claims like “why give birth if you can’t raise them”.

The second category of families: those in which children appeared "on a flight". Compatriots still believe that in case of an unplanned pregnancy, it is urgent to run to sign in the registry office, and then suffer for many years with an unloved person and an unloved child. Even more striking is the hypocrisy of society, which for some reason believes that creating a family “on a flight” is normal. "Have made a child - let's get married." Why? For what? Unclear. Such families still do not live long, they break up soon, causing psychological trauma to absolutely everyone. And it is especially difficult for a child.

Finally, the third category is just childfree. People who are legally married, but fundamentally do not want to have children. They use contraceptive methods, if necessary, have an abortion, and especially do not “strain”. Surprisingly, they are the most complaints. Despite the fact that childfree is much less harmful to others than the unsuccessful options listed above. What makes them live like this?

Reasons why people become childfree

People deliberately refuse children for various reasons. Whatever sphere of life we ​​touch, there will be prerequisites for the cult of childfree. And this is the most important.

1. Desire to concentrate on one's own life. Children are a hindrance to a career, moving to another city or country, traveling. You can't live happily if you have kids. And it doesn't matter what age they are. A person who has children is not as free as a childfree.
2. material problems. Smart people understand in advance that the child is not a toy. He needs to be educated and provided for. It's good when you have a lot of money, you have your own business or you hold a high position. Another thing is when you work in the public sector and somehow survive on your own. Only absolutely irresponsible people can also decide to increase their own family, so that later they can live from hand to mouth.
3. Lack of own living space or lack of it. Can you imagine how one-room apartment with an area of ​​25-30 m 2 to live together? And if you already live, for example, with your parents? Maybe in Soviet times it was normal. But times are different now. And people do not want constant embarrassment, when you can’t even be alone with yourself. It's stupid to blame them.
4. Infantilism. There is a gigantic group of people who remain children all their lives. They do not think about how to continue the race. And why, if they themselves are still "kids"? A child who raises a child is a real tragedy. But there is no other way, since childhood has stretched out in time, and parents diligently do not let their grown children go free.
5. Psychological trauma. Among the childfree there are many who grew up in a family of alcoholics, criminals, people of openly antisocial behavior. Having been traumatized in childhood, it is difficult to decide on your own to have a child. Fear is largely subconscious, because there is always the possibility that a person repeats the same social pattern. For example, according to statistics, in the family of an alcoholic, boys are at risk of developing addictions. And girls who grew up in a family where their father beat their mother run the risk of marrying a domestic tyrant.
6. Banal dislike for children. Let's be honest, not all people love children. There are men and women who simply cannot stand them. They don't like anything that has to do with children. Literally nauseous when someone's child climbs up to them. Will such a person deliberately have children? Hardly. There is even a type of childfree called "childhaters". That is, detonators.
7. Method of protest. Finally, some try to protest society through the abandonment of children, political system, religious stereotypes. These are the so-called nonconformists, and they are not limited to the ideology of childfree. Other attempts to protest are added to it: they consist in dubious movements, carry out defiant actions, and often “slide” into an absolutely immoral lifestyle.

Of course, depending on gender, the reasons differ. Girls and young women still do not want to spoil the figure, giving birth. And men are afraid that they will soon have to pay child support. After all, few people today keep the family longer than five or seven years. The risk of divorce is high even before the moment when the common child turns 18 years old.

Pros of life without children

Let's see what objective advantages childfree life gives. Probably, the champions of morality and morality will not like it. But life without children has many advantages. And the most important ones are listed below.

1. You don't have to share love with anyone. With the advent of a child, the relationship between partners changes dramatically. They cannot devote all their free time to each other, the baby pulls both attention and love. It is at this point that the risk of infidelity on the part of the husband is especially high.
2. Saving money. Also an objective plus, with which it is useless to argue. It takes a lot of money to raise a child. No child, no expenses. Considering the current situation in the country, for many, this is the only way to have a more or less normal life.
3. Opportunities to concentrate on work. Having a child frankly interferes with building a career. If you have a loved one next to you, on the contrary, it helps. But the children slow down the movement along career ladder. This is not essential for everyone. But people who dream of a high position often deliberately refuse children.
4. More time for yourself. The child will always require a lot of time. And while he is very small, and when he goes to school, and when he will have to be prepared for college ... At any of these stages of development, parents will not be left to their own devices. If there are no children, you can concentrate on your favorite activities, hobbies, self-development.
5. Freedom in intimate relationships. This is a very complex topic. You yourself perfectly understand that when there is a child in the house, it becomes hard with the bed. But childfree are completely on their own. In addition, with the birth of a child, the attitude of a husband towards his wife changes greatly. He ceases to see in her an object of sexual interest, she becomes the mother of his baby.
6. The figure does not deteriorate. This is a controversial statement. Often, the birth of a child, on the contrary, benefits the figure if the woman is initially too thin. Because the hips are formed, the chest appears. But, if at first everything was in order, the child can seriously harm.
7. Comfort. Especially in the first years, while the child is small, there will be no comfort in the house. This is constant crying, dirty things, the inability to carry out a full cleaning, and so on. And even when there is time to put things in order, there is no strength left.

Disadvantages of living without children

We have described many benefits. Minuses, oddly enough, much less. But sometimes they are subjectively much more significant. Here are the most serious ones.

1. Lonely old age. The notorious proverb about a glass of water has serious grounds. True, even if you give birth to a dozen children, it is not at all a fact that they will be next to you when you are completely “decrepit”. Still no guarantee. But if you have children, there are more chances not to be left alone.
2. Over time, there will be a feeling of unfulfillment. Also optional, but possible. Humans are creatures with many instincts. The parental instinct among them is especially strong. A feeling of longing may appear if you do not realize yourself as a parent.
3. Raising children brings joy. Yes, not always. But loving parents experience a lot of pleasant emotions. They see how the child grows, feel his love, feel pride over time if he achieves something in life. Childfree couples won't feel any of this.
4. misunderstanding of society. If you decide to abandon children, get ready for a total misunderstanding of others. At least from the older generation and relatives. You will also find many like-minded people. But these will still be strangers, not relatives.

Scientific and technological progress has brought into our modest life not only cell phones, personal computers and other electronic paraphernalia, but also good contraception, which allows you to have intercourse without dangerous consequences. So the instinct of reproduction gradually turns into an instinct for pleasure. no longer wants to lay eggs, but simply flies into the bright light of a phosphorescent light bulb.

Childfree refers to people who, for one reason or another, are convinced that they are not going to have children. They can volunteer to be sterilized. However, the adoption of adopted children is considered possible. Such parents also consider themselves childfree.

They do not put forward protests, but simply carry a personal position proclaiming their unwillingness to have children. Although there are those who express dislike for lovers of magnificent broods. The childfree representatives themselves also have nothing to show. And so the planet is bursting at the seams from overpopulation. And these noble people measure their pride, refusing the opportunity to leave a part of themselves to the world as a memory after death. Let's applaud their courage!

Although such behavior may be dictated by banal selfishness and unwillingness to mess around with diapers, vaccinations, saliva, poop and other delights of infancy. However, this concept does not contradict the above. So, if a person has already made a choice, this is his business and only him.

This trend gaining momentum from decade to decade. Life is becoming more and more dynamic, and it is unacceptable for and for childfree to spend a lot of time, as well as part of their personal space, raising a child. It is curious that among childless couples there are more educated and socially established people who are in demand as professionals and leaders. They occupy good, well-paid positions, because they often direct the lion's share of their lives to work. And there is nothing wrong with that if the work is no less loved than a child could be loved. In fact, the fruits of labor are also the creation of our hands. There is even some change. It is more convenient for someone, and there is no reason for reproaches. Also, in such couples, gender and religious customs are less respected. This type of people is not very loved by the higher authorities, because it is out of the scope of the image created by those. It is convenient to equate people with the same brush, reap, mow like ears of corn, and burn them to be transformed into bread for their own table. Childfrees emphasize their individuality and are often quite selfish types.

A person is expected to contribute to the gene pool of the nation, they say: "You must." But that's the thing, so far no law can confirm this "Must". Therefore, everyone can choose for himself what kind of life is comfortable for him within the framework of existing reality.

Once upon a time, one optimistic person said that children are the flowers of life. Then another, no less intelligent person, but obviously pessimistic, added that they grow mainly on the grave of their parents. Be that as it may, but recently more and more couples quite consciously refuse offspring, even the name of this movement was invented - childfree, which means "voluntarily childless." Those who raise at least one child, almost unanimously - with rare exceptions - condemn them for this, moreover, they assure that they will regret it very much, in the future they will pay for their freedom with loneliness. So what is a childless marriage - a life of pleasure or punishment from heaven?

plus or minus

Both sides - both adherents and opponents - the appearance of children in the family convince others with the help of undeniable, as it seems to them, arguments. And, as a rule, mutually exclusive.

However, in this situation, the "plus" quite easily turns into a "minus", sometimes it happens and vice versa. For example, it is generally accepted that it spoils relations between spouses: they say that a woman switches all her attention to a newborn, while a man feels deprived of attention, and sometimes abandoned. But doesn't the absence of children in the family, especially if one of the spouses does not share the childfree beliefs, lead to a cooling in relations, and sometimes to divorce? On the other hand, selfishness, which is accused by those who happened to become parents, their childless peers, is more a positive than a negative quality. And the assertion that children interfere with a career does not stand up to criticism at all - they easily combine one with the other. And you can argue like this ad infinitum.

Tribute to fashion or persuasion

Most of the now so popular childfree became such not by deep conviction, but by paying tribute to fashion. In general, everything is in full accordance with the adventures of the hero of the old Soviet movie: "Everyone ran, and I ran." If so, it's their hobby. years will pass by 35-40 - it’s good that at this time you can most often still give birth to a child.

If this is really a conviction, then there is something for a psychologist to work with, although such a person is unlikely to come to an appointment - those who feel spiritual discomfort come to a specialist, people who firmly believe in their rightness do not. According to Freud and his psychoanalysis, we all strive for our continuation, which is our child. After the children, grandchildren will appear, then great-grandchildren - not everyone wants to break this chain, so it is very important for every woman to realize herself as a mother. A person who deliberately refuses to have children raises questions, but this does not mean that every child free needs to be diagnosed immediately. In the end, each of us has the right to choose whether to acquire offspring or not. And categoricalness and, especially if it does not look like yours, is characteristic not of a democratic, but of a totalitarian social order.

Getty Images/Fotobank

A good mine in a bad game

It happens that people who categorically refuse to have children simply put on a good face in a bad game: not having - for some reason, most often of a physiological nature - the opportunity to have a child, they claim that they didn’t really want to. Moreover, they convince themselves and those around them that they do not like and do not want children.

You should not dissuade them, because their confidence is a kind of armor that protects them from mental pain, and depriving them of such psychological protection would be at least wrong, and at most merciless. If you try to convince a person of the opposite: "Yes, you want children, you want, you just don't have the opportunity to give birth!" - he will suffer. Here, psychologists must adhere to the main principle of medical workers, which says: "Do no harm!" There are quite a few areas in which such women can realize themselves, and this is where their attention should be focused. Rationalization of one's own impossibility keeps a person, does not allow him to "fall apart" into pieces.

Getty Images/Fotobank

So that childlessness does not become a tragedy of a lifetime

If a person does not build psychological protection, it can become a tragedy of his whole life. But it is worth remembering that any - even the most difficult - life situation, unless, of course, we are talking about an incurable disease or death, is not good or bad in itself. Our thoughts color it in dark or light colors, and we can quite cope with them. Yes, it is difficult, painful, insulting, but if you wish, you can not look at childlessness as a tragedy of life.

Well, the highest aerobatics of psychological defense is a philosophical view of things, according to which, if you cannot influence the situation, change your attitude towards it. If fate for some reason does not give you children, perhaps she has other plans for you.

The main thing–trust and mutual understanding

But what to do if both spouses, but due to the "fault" of one of them, they do not succeed. The second one has to make a choice: to live with this person and leave hopes for offspring, or to experience the happiness of motherhood or fatherhood with another life partner.

What to do in this case, the spouses should discuss and decide only together. And how they discuss and reveal this delicate topic depends on whether there is trust and mutual understanding between them: the more of both, the better the result. Do not be shy to talk about your experiences: "Now that you know (a) that I can not give birth (to have) a child, I am afraid that you will leave me and leave." Such recognition will cause the interlocutor respect and desire to help. Well, when mutual understanding is reached, you can solve the problem itself: or, perhaps, leave everything as it is.

The "glass of water" theory

The main "horror story" for childless people, which friends and relatives burdened with offspring like to scare them, is: "Think about it, you will be left alone in old age - there will be no one to give you a glass of water." But is everything as simple as it might seem at first glance?

Firstly, if the spouses, despite the absence of children, had the wisdom to save the family, they will already meet old age not alone, but together.

Secondly, the situation will largely depend on how kind, sympathetic, sociable people they have been throughout their lives. Such families, as a rule, "grow" with connections - friends and acquaintances who will not allow them to remain without help and support in old age. While young but uncontact or conflict people in this sense, one should not wait for old age - with them, due to the quarrelsome character, and in youth, no one wants to communicate.

So our well-being in old age depends on many components, and the presence of children for him is a desirable, but far from a prerequisite. Someone will say that it is better to be alone than to face the ingratitude of children, to whom he gave all his love, tenderness and best years life. Someone is sure that life cannot be full and happy without children. This is the case when everyone must decide for himself what to choose.

For help in revealing the topic, we thank the psychologist Dinu Vasilchenko(www.psymir.kiev.ua).

Alexandra Voloshina

Features of this life position. Its pros and cons

childfree - if translated literally, then this expression means free from children - this is a kind of life position, which is characterized by a conscious desire not to have children.

There is no clear date for the appearance of this term, but many tend to believe that this method life began to gain momentum after Leslie Lafayette formed one of the earliest modern childfree groups in 1990.

Moreover, people who consciously refuse to have children have nothing to do with those who, for whatever reason, simply cannot have them. Representatives of childfree, as a rule, are very successful and wealthy people, in some cases voluntarily undergone sterilization.

Also, representatives of this lifestyle can be divided into certain categories:

Directors , those who have a huge dislike for everything related to motherhood and children.

Affecionado those who perceive children more as a burden. They understand that without kids they live easier, easier and more interesting. Some of them consciously do not want to have children, because they know that they will probably not sit with them because of their workload and busy life schedule.

Undulating refusers - these are those who cannot decide on the final decision about the birth of offspring. They may at one time urgently want children, then abruptly change their mind and return to their previous lifestyle. As a rule, this type of childfree does not have children throughout their entire life path.

Permanent postponers - these are those who, constantly postponing the birth of a child, and in the end never give birth to him.

It should be understood that every year there are more and more supporters of this lifestyle. This style has received the greatest development in the USA, where the percentage of women who consciously refused to have a child today is more than 7%. In Ukraine, these figures are somewhat lower, since the views of society are still quite conservative and religious, so this figure does not exceed 2.5%, and finds a large share of condemnation in society. As a rule, supporters of this lifestyle, as mentioned earlier, are very successful and rich people who do not want to change their comfort for diapers and sleepless nights.

In America, the most prominent representatives of this lifestyle are: Kylie Minogue, Cameron Diaz, Kim Cattrall, Renee Zellweger, Oprah Winfrey, Dita Von Teese,George Clooney, Eva Longoriaand others.

What are the advantages of life without children and what do representatives of this style lose by giving up motherhood? Let's start with the positives:

personal freedom

Having no children, you are free to do whatever you want. Travel, eat different foods, drink alcohol. You do not need to think about the fact that you are setting some kind of negative example for your baby, you do not need to think about his well-being and health. You are free in your actions and desires.

Lack of responsibility

No kids, no responsibility. You are solely responsible for your actions and decisions. You don't have to go to meetings to listen to your son misbehave in class, you don't have to watch his behavior on the playground and in public places. You are not responsible for his future, only for your own life.

financial savings

Children are always expensive. They are constantly sick, because of this, you need to buy a lot of expensive medicines, they need to be dressed, as they grow very quickly, they need to be fed with quality food for their full development, you need to pay for training, additional sections, for new toys and so on. Children are always precious. People who do not have children can afford to distribute finances as they see fit. There is no money - you can eat semi-finished products for several days, your trousers are torn - nothing like jeans. With children, such issues should be resolved differently, and always in favor of the child.

Career

No matter how modern magazines write that a baby is not a hindrance to work, but still, the presence of children makes some adjustments to career development. After all, there is a person who depends on you, and whose priorities you should always put above your own. Therefore, if you have a child who is going to the hospital in an ambulance with a high temperature, and an hour later you have an important meeting with business partners, any loving parents will always choose the baby and lose a lucrative contract. Moreover, let's not forget that during pregnancy and the first few months after the birth of a child, a woman retires. Of course, there are many examples when expectant mothers worked until the last days of pregnancy, but this is provided that this condition proceeds easily and without complications. In other cases, time is spent lying in hospitals, and the initial care of the baby. In a word, a child does not always allow a career to develop at the pace you want. Therefore, adherents of the childfree lifestyle decided not to tempt fate and simply removed an extra link from their lives in advance, in their opinion, successfully building a career.

You can't change your lifestyle

If you have children, you do not have the right to afford to drink a lot, and even more so to use soft drugs. You have no right to get sick, sleep until 12 noon and just have a day off. New parents don't have days off. Adherents of the childfree style decided that their interests were higher than the interests of future children and simply abandoned them. They can sleep as long as they want, smoke and drink what they want. They will not have a headache from a child's cry and they do not need to constantly control themselves, keeping their emotions to themselves. They are free to live the way they want.

No reason to be afraid

Our life is full of various phobias and fears. Everyone has their own, but there is not a single young woman who, before giving birth, was not afraid that something would go wrong. Not to mention the fact that with the advent of a child, fear for his life and health will become an integral part of life. At first, parents even spend the night near the crib, serving the baby's breath. Childfree representatives do not have such fears, because there is no object with which such fears are associated. They don't live in constant voltage, spending their strength on the fear of completely different things, or generally distinguished by rare fearlessness.

Of course, at first glance, the representatives of this lifestyle are completely happy people. But, let's look at examples of what childfree representatives deprive themselves of by refusing to have children:

No feeling of loneliness

Yes, even the stars get lonely. Of course there are friends, parents. But they are not all permanent. Friends can have their own worries, their own affairs, and parents gradually, due to natural reasons, leave our lives. Nothing in the world compares to the love and devotion of a child. Next to him, a young mother will never feel lonely, and a young father will always know what kind of support is next to him. Childfree are deprived of such pleasure.

procreation

An obvious and understandable example. All people tend to die. And we can achieve something in life and leave a mark, for example, as an outstanding scientific discovery, or simply leave without leaving anything behind. When you have a child, you know that your name will live in the memory of future generations, in their facial features. They will remember you, and your family will continue. Childfree do not see any great universal meaning in this, and therefore are deprived of such an opportunity to live in the memory of generations. Moreover, if this lifestyle has enough adherents, humanity will simply die out.

Return to youth

This refers to both the physiological and psychological component. Many years ago, scientists proved that at the birth of a child, a woman's body rejuvenates by an average of 5 years. It is very useful for the prevention of cancer and diseases of the cardiovascular system. The body, as it were, is updated with each birth of a baby. In addition, having a child allows you to relive your first love, learn new sports and keep yourself constantly in good shape. Young parents often observe the correct diet and sleep, are engaged in outdoor activities and try to give up bad habits, which favorably affects the state of the body and quality of life. Childfree, as a rule, lead a free lifestyle, which implies bad habits, irregular work schedule and unbalanced diet. Accordingly, they are deprived of the opportunity to naturally prolong their youth.

Strengthening relationships and favoring society

Children strangely strengthen relationships. They drive away negativity, switch spouses to more earthly problems, and do not allow conflicts to flare up. Children discipline their parents. They make you think several times over the words spoken and decisions taken. They unite the family and win over the society, at least in the current conditions of our country. People immediately treat you kindly, seeing a crumb nearby. This is a rather mercantile reason, but a weighty one. During this period modern society of our country actively condemns the lifestyle of childfree representatives. Therefore, they are forced to constantly listen to a lot of questions and reproaches, unlike young parents, who are treated more loyally and kindly.

Finding significant meaning in life

This point is rather controversial. Because many childfrees will now begin to give examples of other things that make life worth living. But still, when the life of another person and his well-being depend on you, the value of your own life somehow grows. You have an incentive to get up in the morning, develop and do something. By the way, scientists have proved that a man who has a child much faster achieves everything in life than one who does not have a family. This is justified by the fact that the father tries to provide his family with all the benefits as much as possible, and therefore takes off up the career ladder. A child for many people is like a saving beacon that prevents them from falling into depression, despair and give up. In childfree, the meaning of life changes from hobbies and goals. But something significant and constantly among all the diversity, as a rule, is not.

Having a constant source of good mood

A child with his spontaneity and natural kindness will always be able to cheer you up, even in the darkest times. Children do not need to be rich and important, they love their parents just like that. Kids very keenly feel the sadness of their loved ones and by all means try to cheer up. They start to joke, make faces, or just walk up to you, hugging you and saying nice words. Ask any young family about how much children charge with positive energy, how the mood next to them skyrockets. For all this, you do not need to resort to drugs and alcohol, look for sources of inspiration, just hug your baby. Childfree are deprived of such joy, so in moments of despair and sadness they turn to alcohol, drugs, noisy parties and thrills that give only fleeting relief.