Hello dear readers! How many of us are lucky with our bosses? As a rule, power does not change a person for the better. A great leader is a reason for envy from friends and acquaintances. We spend a lot of time at work and dream of a good boss, but often, a competent relationship with him is the merit of the subordinate himself.

Today we will talk about how to behave with a leader. To one of my acquaintances, when applying for a job, everyone unanimously declared: “The place is excellent, only the head-tyrant spoils everything.”

Surprisingly, the friend managed to find a common language with her colleague very quickly and now, when she is being transferred to another place, she most of all regrets parting with this person. And how did she do it? Let's find out.

Here are a few rules to help you get started.

Don't look for flaws

In our society, it is customary to scold the authorities. We are constantly looking for flaws and focus on them. As a result, an unhealthy attitude to work.

One of my acquaintances constantly talks about the stupidity of his boss and his irrational spending of personal funds. And this is despite the fact that the manager helped him out hundreds of times in a critical situation: he gave him sudden days off, helped him with money, and even, when he violated some corporate laws, contributed to the fact that his friend was not fired.

The more you think about, the worse your relationship at work develops. You meet with the manager, you can even think about dismissal, and of course, at the thought of you just roll your eyes: “Nothing will come of it anyway.” You do not give a chance to a person to show his good side.

Most often, the reason for this behavior lies not in the fact that the man or woman in charge is really bad people. The better your job, the higher the earnings, the stronger the subconscious fear of losing all this, at the same time, the reverence for the authorities grows.

And if he gets fired

The most important thing at work is the understanding that we are all human beings. Get rid of fear in relation to the one who has power. Remain equal with him, treat him with respect and do not servility. You have nothing to fear.

If you need to communicate with the boss, who, as it seems to you, wants you, you still cannot influence this situation with persuasion and pleas. Only the manifestation of professionalism and internal qualities will contribute to a favorable resolution of the situation. No gifts, cute smiles, etc. will work. Remember this.

You can only warn a good professional work. Personal relationships, although they have some value, are not decisive.

Unhealthy environment

Some managers are not even aware of or dissatisfied employees. Don't be afraid to talk to your boss about them.

One of my acquaintances, as a standard, once every 6 months comes to the authorities and asks for a salary increase due to an increase in volumes. They listen to her and, as a rule, accept the conditions.

To my question: “Isn’t it scary?”, Each time she answers: “Well, what do I lose if they don’t give me a raise? I will lose if I don't ask. So I didn't have a chance. You don't think that he himself will ever want to increase his expenses. After all, not a public service.”

Remember that you have nothing to lose either. Most likely the boss will help you sort out any situation. You have a common goal - to increase productivity.

Don't be afraid to tell your boss if he's wrong. Of course, you need to do this, without shouting, using arguments and arguments to confirm your own point of view.

In this case, you manifest yourself with better side. You show the boss that you understand the topic, are proactive and stand up for the common cause. Your merits, after all, are its advantages.

Of course, try to avoid sharp corners. Choose your words carefully so that your statement is not taken as an insult and a stone in his garden. Be aware of other people's feelings and try not to hurt them.

I can recommend the book "I Can Hear You Through" by Mark Goulston about effective negotiations, which will help correctly and with the situation if your boss himself weaves intrigues and behaves incorrectly.

Leadership position- This is a great responsibility. It is clear that over the years an algorithm has been developed for how a good leader should behave. But, first, we would like to clarify whether you, as a leader, do not forget to help your employees achieve success? After all, it is the leader who gives opportunities for employees to realize their potential, it is the leader who strengthens the team and does everything so that it benefits the organization.

And this is one of the first rules of behavior of a good leader. You need to encourage even the smallest achievements of your team members.

If you feel that some employees are able to take on some of the leadership work, then do not be greedy - share.
A good leader should always listen to the other person first, and only then begins to speak himself. The head in his lexicon must always and constantly use, as we call them from childhood, polite words.

If someone forgot, then it is, for example, “thank you” or “please”. We have already said that even despite all your purposefulness and busyness as a leader, you need to help others every day, if necessary, look for solutions to problems together.

A competent leader understands that it is in his interest to keep these promises. And be careful with the demands you place on your subordinates.

Because, as a leader, you must first of all meet these requirements yourself. Always give thanks for a job well done, this gives a guarantee that in the future the work of this employee will be even better. In general, in order to maintain a good and friendly spirit in the team, all victories must be celebrated together. That is, not only great achievements, but also small.

But for the poor performance of the team, you alone, as a leader, are responsible. So, be sure to be prepared for this in advance. Well, as a good leader, you should have one big global goal on which you need to focus your attention and efforts to the utmost.

After mastering these basic leadership skills, each subsequent step will make everything easier for you. Leadership is an ongoing process, so remember to enjoy it.

We offer

How should a young leader behave and what should not be done?

All leaders, even the most talented ones, started their journey at some point, and at the time when they were appointed to their first leadership position, they had to face new problems and somehow cope with their subordinates.

And many managers know how difficult it is to manage even a small staff of people, especially if you are young and not very experienced in this matter, and many of your subordinates are much older than you and think they know much more than you. How to be in such a situation?

For young leaders, there are certain rules according to which it is better for them to start working in a new team and which will help them cope with such a resource as people.

You actually have nowhere to retreat, you have been appointed to a position and you need to become a good leader if you do not want to lose this place. You will have to comprehend all the intricacies of leadership in order to become a great manager, and later a director.

Then you will only hone your leadership skills, since there can be no pattern behavior in this matter, each employee is a person to whom you need to find an approach, and all employees are a close-knit or not very team that you will have to keep within certain limits .

Tips for a new leader

So, the first advice may be that if you are unexpectedly appointed to such a position, then you will have to very quickly wean yourself from such luxury as long smoking in a smoking room with other employees, extraneous conversations on a mobile phone that do not relate to working moments and only business magazines on the table, and those you should read not during working hours and not in front of subordinates.

You also need to reconsider the way you dress. Your style of dress should be somewhat stricter than that of your subordinates, since you are now an example to follow. In choosing clothes, you should rely on the dress code rules that apply to your company.

For you, as a new leader, it will no longer be acceptable to be late for work, you, having become a leader, must also become a punctual person. This business quality will help you in life. If you are used to being late, then at first it will be difficult for you, but over time it will become a habit.

Another important tip is that you should thoroughly study the area in which you have been appointed leader. It is impossible to become a good boss and manage the staff, and at the same time not understand all the intricacies of your business.

Now you constantly need to expand and deepen your knowledge, read more literature, communicate with those people, even with subordinates who know more than you in this matter. This is also necessary in order to speak with your subordinates in the same language, to express the same terminology as they do.

Yes, there are many pitfalls in the work of a young leader, but if you approach it responsibly, then you will succeed. The main thing to remember is that it is important for the leader to work together with his team, this is the only way to achieve success.

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What do you feel when you are going to report to your leader? Fear? Uncertainty in your abilities?

Communication with the leader is not taught in schools, but in this subject we all have to take an exam when we start our careers. And failing that exam could cost you your career.

Personally, my experience in how to report to my boss came later, when I myself became a leader and realized how clumsy reports are made by subordinates if no one taught them.

And if you are a leader yourself, then simply send your subordinates a link to this article. Even better - collect them, scroll through the slides that you see above, and go through the abstracts from the article. The result will be the establishment of a set between you general rules, the observance of which will make your communication more effective to your mutual satisfaction.

Before talking to the manager

1. Report without reminders

“I can't be everyone's secretary and constantly remind them of deadlines. Sometimes it seems to me that people just ignore the tasks and deadlines that I set for them. ”

your boss thinks.

Don't turn your boss into a living alarm clock. Don't force your manager to go down to the level of micromanagement and remind you of due dates.

If the task is not ready, write to him about it yourself with a brief explanation of the reasons and a new deadline. It is better to show that you did not have time to complete the task than to give him a reason to think that you ignored the task altogether by the lack of a report.

If the task is ready and you have something to brag about, then ask for a meeting and show your results.

2. Don't keep your problems to yourself.

“If I was not informed about the problem in advance, then it does not exist and the task must be completed on time.”

your boss thinks.

When you keep the problem to yourself, you deprive your manager of the opportunity to intervene and help you in time. In addition, if you do not report the problem in time, then you do not need help and you can handle your task on your own.

When should you report a problem? When you realized that she would not let you complete the task on time or in accordance with the set standard. After that, you tried to solve it yourself and you did not succeed. Then, not earlier and not later, go to your boss and ask for help.

3. Don't come unprepared

“When a person cannot answer me a single counter question, doubts arise, but has he delved into the task properly or is he trying to dump me a semi-finished product?”

your boss thinks.

Work through in advance all the questions that you may be asked, all alternative solutions to the problem. Be prepared to explain how the numbers you bring are obtained and why they are correct.

Otherwise, you will irritate the boss and be sent for revision - you will lose your reputation and time.

4. Plan your conversation

It only takes a minute, but it brings a lot of benefits. As a rule, it turns out to get to the head less often than we would like, so several questions accumulate for each conversation, and this list will allow you not to forget anything.

Take Blank sheet papers and throw in what you want from this conversation. There are 4 types of such goals:

1. Convey the information he wants to know: report on completed tasks, deadline shifts, important news, etc.
2. Convey the information you want him to know: compliance with the deadlines, your initiatives and proposals, the problems that have arisen and the necessary assistance.
3. Get information that will be useful to you: clarification of the task, news of subcontractors, statuses of issues important to you.
4. Get a solution for your issue.

If a question is difficult to understand or you expect it to cause controversy, write down the thesis of the logic of your report on it - your arguments and conclusions.

When reporting to the manager

The usual report algorithm: tell the purpose of the conversation, give data, give conclusions, give solutions, give your recommendation.

5. No preludes

"Is this still 'getting in contact' or do I need to 'get it' on what he's saying?"

your boss thinks.

Immediately say directly what you need: “I want to report on the results”, “there is a problem”, “need to be solved”, “need to agree”, “there is a question”, etc.

The leader must set his mind to the correct mode: “I solve the problem”, “I accept the results”, “I make the decision”, etc. Until he tunes in correctly, he will not be able to effectively perceive your information.

6. He is not Nostradamus

“He didn’t even bother to ask if I was aware of this topic or not. Is this selfishness or incompetence?

your boss thinks.

Think about what your boss knows and doesn't, and bring him up to date. Until he is in the same context with you, you will not be able to effectively communicate.

Do not skip logical links. The "storyline" of your story should be continuous. If something is taken for granted for you, it is not at all a fact that your manager is obliged to guess about the logical connection that you decided to skip.

7. Take out the trash

“Why should I dig through this verbal garbage? Why couldn’t a coherent report be prepared ahead of time?”

your boss thinks.

Remove from your narrative all information that is not relevant. This includes information that is relevant to the case but is unverified or inconclusive. You run the risk of sidetracking the conversation or overcomplicating it.

Determine what decision of the leader you need and exclude from the report that information that does not bring you closer to him. Of course, it is important to know the measure at the same time - it is unacceptable to distort or manipulate information.

8. More numerals, fewer adjectives

“I really want my subordinates to rely on facts, and not on judgments and emotions. To do this, they must get used to communicating in the language of numbers.

your boss thinks.

Statements that are not provided with numbers sound unfounded. Until concrete figures and facts begin to sound in a conversation, people just exchange subjective judgments, not one iota approaching the truth.

If you want to convince your manager of something, the shortest way to this is through the preparation of analytics. The most amazing thing is that the figures obtained can surprise you and change your own judgment on the issue under discussion.

9. Be specific and transparent

“It’s like I have to pull the answers out of employees with pincers in order to achieve a complete understanding of the situation. Are they hiding something or just didn’t go into the details themselves?”

your boss thinks.

In response to the question "when" give the date. To the question "who" - give a name. To the question "how much" - a number: quantity, amount or percentage. The sooner you give specific data, the sooner you will end this protracted conversation.

10. Don't give data without conclusions

“And why do I need this bunch of tables? Did he try to figure them out himself, or does he not care about this issue at all?

your boss thinks.

It's not the numbers that matter, but your ability to draw conclusions from them.

A good employee is an independent employee. After all, if you understand that after receiving the data there will be an analysis stage, and after the analysis - decision-making, then why not try to go through this road yourself?

Throwing off the initial data without conclusions to the boss, then you tell him "now this is your problem." And, of course, no one likes it. A much better approach would be "I understand that this is my problem, and here's how I try to solve it."

11. Don't show up without offers.

“If I now come up with a solution for him, then he will be in my “manual control” all my life. Let him learn to think with his own head.

your boss thinks.

As the proverb says, “If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.” Always come not only with a problem, but also with suggestions for its elimination. Preferably in multiple versions.

Let your manager only have to approve your idea. Let him see that he has a motivated independent employee.

12. Don't leave without a decision

"I'm tired. I do not want to decide anything. I want a bonus."

your boss thinks.

You came to get a solution (see point 4). .

But making decisions is not easy. Your boss will avoid it. Keep your goal in mind and bring the conversation back to the decision.

In case of counter questions from the head

13. Answer the question in your first sentence

“Well, why do I need these jumps and antics? I ask a specific question and want a specific answer. If something is not clear to me, I will ask the next question. No need to waste time trying to answer questions I didn't ask."

your boss thinks.

If the boss asks a question, then, as a rule, he already understands in advance what and in what order he will ask next. He has already built for himself the outline of the conversation and wants to lead the conversation in this way.

No need to try to think out his question for himself and answer the question that he did not ask, but which, as you think, he means. Answer the question literally. All the details, reasons and logical explanations - later. If asked.

14. The truth and nothing but the truth

“Can I, in principle, work with a person who is trying to deceive me? After all, he not only demonstrates his insecurity by trying to lie to me, but also stupidity, hoping that I will not catch him in a lie.

your boss thinks.

No need to invent anything in an attempt to answer a difficult question. There is no need to draw reality when there are no facts. You will still be taken to clean water. It's much easier and faster to admit that you don't know or haven't done something and move on.

15. Don't Blame Your Subordinates

“If a person does not understand that he is responsible to me for the actions of his subordinates, then this is a clinical case. We have a hierarchy. I answer to my boss for all my subordinates, and they answer to me for theirs.

your boss thinks.

The task is assigned to you, and you are also responsible for it. You can delegate the task to your subordinates, but this does not relieve you of responsibility for its implementation. Delegation creates an additional relationship of responsibility between you and your subordinate, but your original responsibility to your boss does not disappear.

16. Don't waste time making excuses.

“The more I listen to excuses, the more my subordinates will hope that they can get rid of me. beautiful story with no result."

your boss thinks.

If your boss is result-oriented, then the reasons for his absence (especially those that are revealed only at the time of the report - see paragraph 2) are of little interest to him.

Therefore, do not waste time on excuses - it is better to spend it on completing your task.

When receiving a task

17. Questions at once

If in response to your report you received another task, and something in it is not clear to you, immediately ask questions. It's better to look stupid when you get a task than when you turn it in by doing the wrong thing.

Conclusion

As you see, listed rules quite simple and even somewhat obvious. However, in my experience, there are very few people who systematically perform them - this requires courage and self-discipline. Try to stick to them, and, believe me, the trust and support of the leadership are provided to you.

See also:

• 18 tips on how to overcome tension and fear in dealing with superiors.
• Owner and manager: how to avoid conflicts. Manager's advice.

What is the most difficult thing for you in communicating with the leader?

Employees have a different relationship with their boss. Some speak as equals, others are afraid to take the wrong step. Usually you need to talk with your boss every day, so you need to establish contact at the beginning. labor activity. A prerequisite is to show respect and build relationships on a trusting basis. Be friendly and tolerant. Even with an evil boss, you can find a common language.

Rules of behavior

Good relations with superiors are the key to a comfortable atmosphere in the team and productive work. But each person has his own characteristics, strengths and weaknesses, bad habits. You have to come to terms with this. Changing a bad, capricious boss can be very difficult, but adjusting to his characteristics is much easier.

The first thing to do is draw boundaries. Discuss problems in a calm tone, but if necessary, defend your point of view. You can also voice your dissatisfaction. It’s better to do it face-to-face and in a polite manner. Explain why you are unhappy and suggest ways to improve the situation.

Do not start empty talk about the boss in the team. It is better to direct this energy to improve performance. Try to help your boss achieve work goals. This will help build relationships, gain recognition and improve your position.

Other rules:

1. Problem prediction. Don't be afraid to report bugs and bugs. You can unobtrusively advise how to improve or correct the situation. An experienced and wise chef will appreciate this behavior and thank you for your help. If the attempt was not successful, it is better not to do this a second time.
2. Ask for advice. In difficult situations, when the success or failure of the entire company is at stake, you can confer about working moments. Think over a plan of action and coordinate it with your boss. This will help avoid mistakes.
3. Be sincere. There are bosses who have a negative attitude towards flattery and hypocrisy. Therefore, praising without a reason is a bad decision. It is better to approve his activities when you really see fit.
4. Maintain neutrality. There is a purely business relationship between the boss and the employee. It is better to talk with superiors only on work topics. It happens that it is better not to make friends with him and not be imposed. The optimal solution is to work for the benefit of the enterprise and do your job with high quality.
5. Do not press on sore points. Instead of criticizing, report on ways to fix the problem. If he's late for an interview, suggest setting your alarm 15 minutes before the meeting. If he forgets about meetings with customers or other important matters, remind him of this. Think about how else you can help the boss, and do not lose this opportunity.
6. Reward good deeds. Often good, but demanding bosses do not hear warm words addressed to them. Compliment your leadership style, recent success, or other accomplishments. Do it sincerely and from the heart, and not for the purpose of hearing pleasant words in response.

Even if he behaves inappropriately, be professional. Remain calm and behave with dignity. Listen carefully and leave the office.

Five Types of Leaders

In psychology, there are 5 main types of bosses. The main differences between them are the attitude towards employees, personal qualities and behavior model.

"Know-It-All"

It is important for him to feel superior to others. Overly arrogant and overconfident. Decisions are made thoughtlessly. He believes that he knows all the working nuances. His behavior is often the subject of gossip and objections. Unable to endure this, he wants to punish those who spoke badly about him in any way. It's useless to argue with him. Almost every subordinate is considered a bad employee. He will never listen to someone else's opinion, considering it wrong. Instead of an argument, it is necessary to use advice that will emphasize the position of the mentor.

Other actions:

• ask for help with a work problem;
• ask for advice;
• express respect;
• ignore negative feedback, etc.

The main thing is that the leader feels needed. Such actions will help to avoid conflicts and scandals.

"Joker"

They are excellent businessmen. They like to take risks and are not afraid of failure. Any mistake is perceived as a challenge to become better, they do not tolerate competition. Therefore, the presence of an informal leader in the team is perceived acutely and they will try to eliminate them from the workplace in any way. "Jokers" are great bosses for those who like to work in a team. They know how to properly organize work with a focus on results. Don't try to compete. Nothing will work out for you anyway, and the relationship will be forever ruined. The best thing you can do is listen carefully to commands and turn in your work on time. Then conflict situations will not arise.

"Master"

The most common type of leader. May call late in the evening on a business matter or give a heavy task for the weekend. Being a workaholic, he does not know how to rest. The result of the activities of subordinates rarely pleases him, so quarrels happen often. Subordinates are considered property and are often called bad employees.

How to deal with the "owner":

• set boundaries in the first place;
• do not take home work;
• do not stay up late at work;
• don't be afraid to say no.

It is important to defend your interests. If work is not a priority, make it clear. If he calls late at night, it makes sense not to pick up the phone. Show that you welcome the division of the day into work time and rest. At first, the boss may be offended, but later he will cease to be so intrusive towards the employee.

"Doer"

Assignments are loud and specific. Requires immediate implementation. Always positive and energetic. Always has a plan of action, which must be followed. He does not like brave and enterprising workers and often punishes them. It is hard for him to take time off from work early, even if the reason is good. The award is also rare. The only correct decision of the employee is to focus on the result. Deliver work on time, constantly improve productivity. Such behavior is a guarantee of good relations.

"Darling"

Most polite and helpful. Has a sense of humor, loves to communicate with subordinates on work and everyday topics. Always maintains morale and cares about each employee. For him, human values ​​are more important than professional qualities.

Rules of behavior:

1. You can offer ideas to improve the work of the team. He will definitely take them into account and try to implement them.
2. It is better to ask about working moments in private.
3. With him, you can not be afraid to talk about a raise or ask for a salary (if there were real successes in your activities).

Praise for success is desirable, but only sincerely. He does not welcome hypocrisy.

Conversation during a fight

It happens that the boss is the initiator of all conflicts. As a result, instead of a favorable atmosphere in the team, the situation is very tense. Then employees feel disgust not only for the leader, but also for work. As a result, productivity is low, the mood is bad and the quality of work leaves much to be desired. Ignoring constant insults or pretending that this is a normal attitude is not worth it. Sit down at the negotiating table and talk calmly. It is advisable to have proof negative impact chief. It can be emails, voice messages, SMS.

The worst thing a female employee can do during an argument is cry. Even in a conflict situation, it is necessary to behave with dignity and not show weakness.

Rules to follow when fighting:

1. Don't stoop to the level of the boss. Yelling back is the worst thing an employee can do. Wait until the boss calms down, and only then express your opinion about the quarrel.
2. Interruption of a conversation. There are people who cannot listen to insults for long. Then it is better to apologize, interrupt the conversation and leave the office. Ask to continue the conversation after the boss calms down and comes to his senses.
3. Focus on the problem. If you are scolded for a problem that you really allowed, you need to listen carefully. Try to ignore aggressive behavior. Think about how you can fix the mistake or ask for advice.

In any quarrel, you need to behave with dignity and not speak in a raised voice. This can only make the situation worse. Excessive emotionality is a sign that a person cannot adequately assess the situation and quickly find a solution. In this case, anger and aggression is a protective tool.

Ways to solve problems

It often happens that an employee tries to explain to the boss that he was wrong or offers to forget about the conflict, but he does not back down. As a result, every day is accompanied by quarrels and scandals. If the boss constantly reproaches and shouts for something, you should think about changing jobs. To tolerate such behavior is disrespectful to oneself. There are hardly career prospects in this workplace. You need to take care of your health, especially mental.

Another correct decision is to move to another department if the work in the company suits you. You need to find out in advance if there are vacancies and talk with employees about their boss. But asking for a transfer to another department or department is worth the head of the entire company. Clearly explain the situation to him and ask for help.

If an employee has been the victim of discrimination by superiors, it is worth contacting the relevant employee protection authorities. There are conflicts that cross the line of the law, and the initiator requires punishment.

Conclusion

Often employees do not know how to behave with the boss. Some begin to be hypocritical, others begin to criticize and discuss his every action with colleagues. But it is important to learn how to build trusting relationships. In a conflict situation, you must behave with dignity. Try to overcome excessive emotionality and discuss everything in a normal environment. If even after several conversations with a showdown, it was not possible to eliminate the misunderstanding, you should think about dismissal. Sometimes this is the only correct solution.

Relations with superiors play an important role in the scenario of career growth and business advancement. turns out to be a difficult psychological test for many people. When the leader does not control himself, the problem is gaining momentum. Not everyone can tolerate rudeness, but a decent response requires strength. What do you do if your boss is being defiant? How to deal with rudeness and tyranny? When is it better to remain silent and what actions are suitable for emergency situations? Answers to questions will be given by applied psychology of business communication.

What are the bosses?

Leading people is a complex art that requires a set of certain qualities from a person: self-control, flexibility, ambition, sociability, organization ... the list goes on forever. When work in a team does not stick, it is worth thinking about the competence of the boss.

Destructive leaders are the destroyers of the office world and order. You can’t cook porridge with them, and you can’t solve things. But problems are always in abundance.

• Creepy- This is a god of the middle order. He is a small boss on errands of a big boss. Today he is pleased with your work, and tomorrow he gives you a dressing, having received criticism from higher management.
• Dictator- will not let you say a word against. Does not accept criticism, advice, does not hear wishes. He thinks he knows everything better than you. And even if you are a first-class architect, and he does not distinguish between a load-bearing wall and a non-bearing wall, his authoritarian wishes are undeniable.

• slob- his element is lack of assembly, disorganization. He forgets about important meetings, deadlines, assignments, does not control the progress of work, breaking down on his subordinates for his mistakes.
• Sadist- a tyrant who knows all the weaknesses of his subordinates. He loves to tease. The sadist is firmly attached to the victim, skillfully steps on the sore calluses, humiliating the person. The tyrant experiences sadistic love for his subordinates. He cultivates in the team a sense of dependence and slavish obedience, instilling a sense of fear in his subordinates.
• Actor- plays competent specialist. His only goal is to maintain the image, even by humiliating subordinates.
• Coward- Fear of competition. He is suspicious and seeks to avert the slightest danger. Humiliating subordinates, he kills the spirit of rivalry in the team.
• Father-mentor, mother-director- Most of the time, paternal-type leaders professionally cope with their duties. Manifestations of destructive behavior appear unexpectedly, but soon pass without bringing obvious destructive consequences.

Your response to your boss depends on the causes and forms of inappropriate behavior.

Inappropriate Leader Behavior:

• increased intonation, rough speech,
• ridicule and belittle the dignity of subordinates,
• familiar behavior,
• flirting, obscene allusions,
• passive-pejorative gestures (humiliation in a veiled form: sarcastic remarks, ambiguous smiles, hints).

These are signs of unprofessionalism. In Russia, the literacy of the managerial level is poorly developed.

Positions often go to the strongest, but not the most worthy. Assess your strengths and capabilities before joining the fight.

The slightest mistake will be your defeat and worsen the situation at work.

How to put in place a presumptuous leader?

• calmness. Don't get emotional. In an excited state, you are easier to manipulate. Start preparing for the conversation early. Take a couple of minutes, close your eyes. Breathe smoothly: inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Repeat several times. Don't beat yourself up before talking. Stay calm, even, try not to show emotions. Calmness will moderate the ardor of the boss.

• Politeness. When the leader is rude, ask him to justify the reasons for the behavior. Speak in a cold, reserved tone, politely. Show that you are educated. Uncultured behavior is a sign of low intellectual development. You are above rudeness. In business ethics there is no place for unprofessional communication. Politeness and restraint are a sign of courage. Controlling emotions means conquering fears. Having mastered yourself, you become an uninteresting toy for the boss of a sadist or actor.

• Face to face conversation. Public attacks on superiors are fraught with unpleasant consequences. To avoid them, choose a place and time to talk with the boss in private. Try to find out what he doesn't like about your job. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write it down. If any of the above is not true, ask again. By forcing the boss to repeat the lie, you focus attention not on the illegality and incorrectness of his actions, awakening his conscience.

If the boss is a tyrant, in a personal conversation you can make an attempt to hurt his conceit. In this case, there are 2 nuances:

• Self-doubt and natural timidity will prevent you from winning the clash. Exodus: tyranny will become tougher.
• You risk going overboard. Relations with the boss will deteriorate completely, and your workplace will be in question.

During the conversation, do not let's wipe our feet on ourselves, show the inner core and confidence. Do not give in to provocations. If during a conversation the boss attacks you and engages in a skirmish, imagine yourself under the protection of a glass dome. You are inside and the boss is outside. His rough and aggressive lunges bounce off the glass surface without touching you. While you fantasize, the boss will cool off. Start talking when the boss has let off steam and finished his tirade. Do not interrupt, do not try to shout down the boss, as you will aggravate the situation.

• Ignoring. Suitable for interacting with bosses who show aggression inconsistently: creepy, slob, mother director. In their case, negative attacks have a specific reason. Bosses are people too and they have their weaknesses. A sense of increased responsibility, almost paternal love for the team, makes the father-boss go beyond business communication. The slob is aggressive in the event of major setbacks. Creepy boss behaves inappropriately after a shake-up from upper management. It is easier to survive such attacks, immersed in work, trying not to pay attention to the raging management.

• non-verbal tricks. With leaders-dictators, methods of verbal influence are powerless. You can convey your dissatisfaction to an authoritarian leader with the help of gestures, facial expressions, gaze, and intonation. This method is suitable for employees, especially those who value their workplace. By influencing the subconscious, you will avoid direct confrontation and bypass conflict situations side.

Indirect methods of influencing the boss or boss

A person receives about 80% of information in a non-verbal way! If you build a model of behavior correctly, the information will be firmly entrenched in the boss at a subconscious level.

• Forget about smiling. Don't try to smooth things over by smiling at your boss at an awkward moment.

Be serious. Women in communication with men on a subconscious level use a smile to achieve sympathy. In a business relationship, this technique may not work.

Smiling awkwardly, you show gentleness and provoke an attack, especially a sadist, dictator and actor. Emotionless facial expression cools the boss's ardor.

• Follow your gaze. Look into the eyes of your boss. If you find it difficult to maintain eye contact, keep your gaze at the level of the nose. When you lower your eyes, you recognize the strength of the interlocutor. On a subconscious level, he feels that you have given up and goes on the offensive.

• Control gestures. Lowering of the head, constant nodding, nervous gestures, defensive postures and movements, and weakness. Watch your behavior:

• Don't lean back in communication with the boss;
• Don't look for extra support in the form of a table or chair when standing in front of the boss;
• Don't fence yourself off from him with crossed arms and legs;
• Stop blowing away non-existent dust particles and remove fictitious specks from clothes;
• Take your hands off your face and lift up your eyes;
• Express consent with a restrained single nod;
• Formulate phrases accurately and answer questions.

• Do not hesitate, trying to avoid the answer. Hiding behind vague phrases, you confess insecurity and weakness.
• Work on your clothes. Business style in clothes is a symbol of distance. A formal dress code exposes a subconscious frame of communication in the head of the boss. It is not for nothing that in large companies employees are required to comply with mandatory requirements for appearance, the main of which is business style clothes.
• Do not pay attention to jokes and provocations. The lack of the expected response will disrupt the boss's plans. Move on to discussing work issues without noticing sarcasm and inappropriate jokes. This technique does not work with tyrant leaders. Silence for them is a sign of weakness and fear, which acts on sadists like a red rag on a bull.

Coping with habitual non-verbal reactions is difficult, but necessary if you want to show your boss his place.

When choosing a method of response, be guided by your own strengths and the character of the boss. The more you take into account individual factors, the more effective your behavior will be.

What can not be done?

• Silently endure public insults. So you risk losing the respect of not only your boss, but also your colleagues.
• Answer rudely. Rudeness breeds new aggression. Do not stoop to the level of a boor, respect your dignity.
• Criticize the boss. No boss likes criticism. If your boss is a dictator, you risk deepening the conflict. Judging the boss in a fit of anger, you provoke a negative release on you. A single aggressive attack will turn into a persistent dislike on the part of the leader.
• Humbly ask for forgiveness and take the blame. So you humiliate your own dignity and untie the hands of a tyrant. You will be held responsible for all incidents in the office. Such behavior is especially dangerous with a sadist and a slob. If respect in the team does not play a big role for you, or the dialogue with the boss takes place in private, you can take the blame for communicating with a dictator or a coward. Aggressive attacks will stop.

Forewarned is forearmed!

Conflicts with superiors are easier to prevent than to deal with their consequences.

• Strive for a balance of interests. often arise from misunderstanding. The boss does not seek to explain his position and desires to subordinates, and employees tolerate and silently carry out the vague tasks of the leader. Bottom line: dissatisfaction on both sides. Look for benefits for yourself and for your superiors. Find the optimal balance of interests.

• Understand the boss. Take a closer look at the boss. Having studied his habits, requirements, character traits, you can avoid controversial situations and conflicts. Knowing the hidden causes of inappropriate behavior gives you a secret weapon in the fight against boss misconduct.
• Set up a dialogue. People open up in communication. Through dialogue, it is possible to convey to a person not only verbal information, but also an internal state. Surely you have seen employees who are able to calm the father-boss in anger or influence the leader - slovenly. It's all about the right approach to communication, and every boss has weaknesses.
• Confidence from day one. When you get a new job, . Sadists and actors avoid clashes with such people. Excessive confidence can unnerve the boss - a coward or a dictator. It depends on the leader how much you can raise the bar of your fearlessness.

You can find a balance of relationships with any boss. Be careful and don't be afraid of guidance.