How to avoid and resolve any conflict. how to avoid conflicts how to avoid conflicts

Conflicts are always a problem. And in whatever area they arise, be it business or personal life, we are faced with the same questions: how to resolve the conflict or how to avoid it in the future. Of course, it will not be realistic to avoid conflicts, even in the strongest relationships, in the most trusting business, disagreements arise from time to time that can develop into a serious conflict. In this article, we will not talk about how to build ideal relationships that will develop without disputes and conflicts, but we will focus our attention on something else - how to get out of conflict situations. After all, you do not want serious scandals and problems? Correctly?

What is the best way to resolve conflict situations? What immediately comes to mind? I am sure that you have thought of many possible options, but among all the best will be only a compromise. Both parties must make concessions, change their vision of the situation, find a common solution to the problem, one that would suit both.

So, how to come to this compromise, because in words everything is easy, but in reality it is not so simple. Let's look at 10 basic rules with which you can resolve any conflict situation.

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1. Hold back your emotions.
The first rule is that you must learn to think with a “sober” head, not to involve ego and emotions in your decision. It often happens that on emotions a person will say something, do certain things, and then, when he cools down a bit, he begins to regret everything he said. And it happens all the time. Emotions cloud your mind, inflate your ego, make you think that you are taller and smarter than your interlocutor. It's not right, it's a road to nowhere. Many Eastern cultures and religions place great emphasis on the ability to control one's thoughts and emotions. Why do you think Tibetan monks are so calm, non-confrontational and reasonable? Yes, because they first of all think, and do not involve emotion. Learn!

2. Don't overthink yourself
There is a wonderful Zen saying: “Think less, laugh more.” What do you think it is about? How often have you encountered the fact that a person himself came up with a problem, screwed himself up, got offended, and even inflated the conflict from this? It happened, didn't it. Did you do that? I'm sure yes. So, you shouldn’t think a lot, you don’t need to wind up something that hasn’t happened yet. You yourself build a chain of non-existent events in your head, develop them yourself, and so you begin to believe in it, that then many problems arise.

For example, your business partner is late for a meeting, the phone is turned off, there is no Internet connection, you are waiting and you start to figure out why this happened. And as soon as he enters the office, you begin to attack, accuse, make some claims based only on your contriving. Do not drive the horses, do not be nervous ahead of time, because you do not know the true reasons for being late. Such cases are all the time, and until you learn to live in the moment now, do not learn to perceive everything as it is, conflicts cannot be avoided.

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3. Choose the right time

Often conflicts arise in those moments when one of the interlocutors is not ready for a conversation. If you see that your colleague is not in a good mood, that he did not have a good day today, then do not get in the way with your questions, recommendations or advice. Better wait until tomorrow, let him settle everything, and then start a conversation.

It is also better to conduct all negotiations in the afternoon, approximately 1-1.5 hours after lunch. Why? By this time, a person will already “get hot”, enter the work process, have time to have lunch and relax. A well-fed and positively-minded interlocutor is the minimum risk of a conflict situation.

4. Look for the cause, not the effect.
We are all used to dealing with the consequences of a conflict, but we don’t want to analyze what caused such a person’s behavior. Always look wider, go beyond the conflict, try to analyze the situation and understand how to avoid similar problems in the future.

5. Live in the moment now
Another mistake that leads to serious conflicts is past memories. Why do you reproach a person for something that has already passed, why do you remember his past “sins”? This will in no way help resolve the conflict, but, on the contrary, will add fuel to the fire. Try to live in the moment now. Just think, there is nothing but now. The past has already happened, and it cannot be changed, therefore, it is not worth getting upset about it, and we do not know the future, therefore, discard the excitement about it too. There is only here and now - remember.

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6. Don't accumulate problems.
There is a great saying: “Problems should be solved as they come up.” And this is the real truth. No need to accumulate resentment, feelings, some controversial points. Try to discuss everything at once, decide, come to a common denominator. Problems can be compared to a snowball that only grows and grows every day, and if it is not reduced, then at one fine moment this lump will fall on your head with great force, bringing with it the whole set of conflicts and unpleasant situations.

7. Don't hold grudges
This rule is closely related to the previous one. No need to harbor grievances, hatch an insidious plan of revenge, secretly think up and impose something on yourself. If you want to live without conflicts, then you should learn to calmly, without unnecessary emotions, discuss all controversial points. The sooner you resolve your internal conflict, the sooner you discuss it, the better, because this will help you get rid of unnecessary thoughts, and most importantly, unnecessary speculation.

8. Don't insult
Do not stoop to the lowest - insults. Scientists have proven that if during a quarrel a person goes personal, starts insulting the interlocutor, then this is an indicator of his weakness, his wrongness, his inability to prove his point of view. As a rule, the one who understands that he is wrong begins to insult, but his inflated ego does not want to give in, and he does not find other ways than to say nasty things. Remember that an insult will not improve the situation, but will only become the basis for a new quarrel, an even greater conflict.

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9. Watch your tone.
Sometimes not so much the words, but the tone with which they are said can greatly offend your interlocutor. Therefore, always watch how you pronounce this or that phrase. Do not snipe, do not tease, do not make fun of any qualities, because most people may not like this behavior. Always try to put yourself in the place of another, project your actions onto yourself. Behave the way you want to be treated.

10. Don't throw tantrums.
It has been said more than once that hysteria is a powerful way to manipulate another person. Yes, she is able to calm the conflict for some time, but the problem will remain, the situation will not be resolved. So what's the point in hysteria, behaving provocatively, raising your tone, if as a result everything remains as it was?
But what if you are not the initiator of the conflict? How to act in such a situation?

Keep your mouth shut Do you remember when you were in school you were advised to keep your mouth shut and throw it away? Apply something similar. In order to certainly not say anything superfluous, take water in your mouth and wait until your husband says everything he was going to. If you suddenly swallowed water - take more. A person cannot talk to himself for a long time. Soon it will bother him and he will shut up. And discuss the situation later, when he leaves.

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Be creative If you're being yelled at, try hugging or kissing your husband. It is unlikely that after this he will want to continue the quarrel. You can also try to move the conversation to another topic. Ask for a glass of water or close the window.

You should not cling to words A phrase taken out of context loses its original meaning. You should not cling to individual words, because then you are guaranteed a grandiose scandal.

Do not think that you are the root cause of everything. You are not always the cause of the quarrel. Perhaps the cause of irritation is failure at work, a quarrel with friends, or the rudeness of others. After all, not everything revolves around you.

Remember, with the right approach, any aggression can be minimized. The main thing is to know how to do it.

A wise man once said: "The essence of conflict is the refusal to communicate."

If you learn not to say this word, you can avoid more than 70% of conflict situations. You can check today. Why, see below...

At the heart of any conflict lies a divergence of opinions regarding events, phenomena, actions affecting its participants. And with the question "How to avoid conflict?" sooner or later every person faces.

The thing is that each of the conflicting parties believes that it is right and that its thoughts, decisions and actions are correct. But, if everyone is doing the right thing, then why does a conflict situation arise?

Let's try to figure it out.

The conflicting parties, whether male or female, have certain beliefs about what is happening to them and around them. These beliefs were formed under the influence of the environment in which they were previously located, as well as on the basis of their previous experience in dealing with similar situations. But over time and with age, the situation changes, priorities and the environment change. The new environment has its own rules and regulations. And if you ignore them or do not attach importance to them, but adhere only to previously formed beliefs, conflict inevitably arises.

What can you do?

Shouldn't be used "You-sayings" and accusatory tone in conversation. This makes the interlocutor, at best, go on the defensive, then it will be very difficult to get through to him. In the worst case, you can cause an aggressive reaction in him, which will be directed at you, and this will only increase the conflict situation. Better to use "I-statements" talk about what is happening to you, how you feel.
Avoid, and best of all, exclude generalizations from the dialogue, for example, "you always do that", "you always say that". Generalizations of a negative plan hurt the interlocutor very painfully and work to destroy relationships. It is best to discuss a specific situation and keep the dialogue within that situation.
Don't manipulate the past. The interlocutor already knows that if he had done differently, then the result would have been different. If he hears this reproach from the outside, then an involuntary protest reaction arises, and all the energy is spent not on correcting the situation, but on protecting his own self-esteem and defending "his own borders."
Do not explain your actions and actions by the actions of a partner, for example, "I did it because you did it first". Do not shift your own responsibility for your actions and deeds to another. This is a dead end option, the interlocutor is unlikely to take someone else's responsibility for the negative consequences on himself. He would have to deal with his.
Do not evaluate or compare your partner with anyone or anything. Especially if the comparison is offensive or has a negative connotation. As in the previous cases, there is a negative "you" here: for example: "you are like your mother" or "you are like our neighbor". Negative comparisons have a very strong effect on the partner, and after using them, it becomes almost impossible to keep the conversation in a constructive way.
If there is a need to discuss a problematic situation, then it is better to do this at the level of behavior, avoiding getting personal, for example: if someone hurts you with their actions, then you need to talk about it: "What I hear (I see, they told me, I found out), it hurts me". Nothing ignites conflict more than personal insults. After that, and before the rupture of relations is not far.
Smile! A smile enriches those who receive it, but does not impoverish those who give it. It creates an atmosphere of goodwill and reduces tension.

Of course, it is very difficult to keep so many rules in mind (even though they are simple), especially when a conflict situation is brewing, when emotions go off scale and the mind turns off. But, by and large, they are all summarized in rule number 1. You just need to be aware of the destructive power of "you-statements" and avoid using the word "you" in the affirmative, especially in emotionally intense situations.

Of course, there are many other recommendations on how to avoid conflict and how to save relationships. But even following these simple rules will allow you to get around sharp corners in relationships and create an atmosphere for the peaceful resolution of problem situations.

As a result, a common opinion on the controversial issue may be formed. Any belief can change if both parties see common sense in it.

good luck to you and good relations!

A variety of quarrels and unspoken grievances seriously spoil our mood and relationships with others. How to avoid conflicts, can this be learned? Constantly radiating positive is not so easy, because at every step we are lured by unpleasant surprises and attacks from other people. But fighting all this negativity is simply vital.

Why is it so important to stop swearing?

The main reason to think about how you can avoid conflict is your own mental health. Think back to the last fight you ever had. Dissatisfied skeptical statements quickly turn into real cries. But now you and your opponent have already parted ways, and you are shaking for another good half an hour. It’s impossible to focus on anything, and all that remains is to scroll through all the insults received in your head and think which of them are well-deserved. But indeed, if someone around you constantly treats you with disdain, over time, self-esteem can significantly decrease. Have you ever seen husbands who have been sawed for years by their wives or work colleagues who are hesitant to take on serious projects because the boss constantly says that they are too tough for them? Of course, a bad peace is better than a colorful war. It is always good to have a polite neutrality or benevolent relationship with everyone you know, rather than making enemies. And this is the second reason why it is better not to bring the situation to an open confrontation.

Learning to understand and respect

The universal advice on how to avoid conflicts is to learn to respect everyone around you. It doesn't matter who is in front of you: a homeless person trying to beg for alms or the head of a large company. Each of them is a person, and if you have to speak, maintain a friendly tone of communication. Often conflicts stem from misunderstandings. Listen carefully to your opponent, do not interrupt, ask additional and clarifying questions. If you think that the interlocutor is wrong, or says some kind of nonsense, briefly retell everything that you understood from what you heard, ask again if this is what he wanted to say. Never take information critically, remember that everyone has the right to their own opinion.

Never be the first to fight

Think about how often you provoke conflicts? In order to start a quarrel, sometimes one careless word is enough. If you provoke openly, instigating the interlocutor with statements that offend him personally or the beliefs that he has, it's time to seriously think about your behavior. Perhaps you need a personalized "How to avoid conflict" memo. Remember that it is always easier to smooth the situation, quarrels are not useful, you need to be able to achieve your goals through peace.

Think positive, wish well

Never accumulate evil within yourself. A popular advice from psychologists on how to avoid conflict at work or at home is to simply remain silent. In practice, it really often works. But even if a quarrel does not occur, resentment will remain in your soul for a long time. Did you know that many people suffering from serious diseases of the cardiovascular and nervous systems prefer to remain silent until the last moment? All claims to others should be expressed, but at the right time and in a friendly manner. This is the guarantee of a happy family life. If family members rarely help you, do not make a scandal, but simply point out their mistakes and ask for help. In a similar way, you can find a way out of many situations leading to conflict.

Do not spread gossip and criticize consciously

Such is the essence of human nature that in the absence of mutual acquaintances we love to talk about them. Not only women, but also men are prone to “washing the bones”. This habit should be abandoned. If you criticize someone, say it to the person's face. Climbing into your personal life, if you were not initiated, is at least uncivilized. It is already a real meanness to speak unkindly behind the back of those with whom you personally communicate well - this is already a real meanness. It is better to refrain from categorical comments about third parties at all. If the situation requires your comment, try to gently, but unequivocally, tell the person everything in person, as it is. Is it possible to avoid conflict if you want to criticize, but do not have solid arguments? Of course, yes. It is enough to emphasize that all your words are your personal opinion, and whether or not to listen to it is up to the opponent to decide.

Argue or not?

Some people are born debaters, they like to prove their opinion to the last. In this case, it is not the result that matters, but the process itself. How to avoid conflict with friends or relatives from scratch? Learn to respect other people's interests. Suppose your wife loves green tea without sugar, and you prefer sugary coffee with cream. Will you swear because of this? Rather, everyone will brew a cup of their invigorating drink and drink it with pleasure. So why stoop to mutual insults and shouting because of musical tastes, politics or religion? It is most useful to mark in advance for yourself a list of topics on which it is better not to talk with a specific person.

Agree and... do it your way!

Common at work - teachings and instructions. The most difficult thing is to resolve the situation when you are sure that you are doing everything right, and a less competent person offers a different algorithm of actions. If you try to defend the truth, conflict cannot be avoided. This is the very situation when it is important for the attacking side to emphasize its authority. If the boss "teaches" you to work correctly, but despite the fact that the results suit him today, you should not try to point out the errors in his judgments. A rare boss admits that he does not have sufficient knowledge and really came up with utter nonsense. Listen carefully, agree, promise to fulfill. Wait for a convenient moment and continue to work in the usual algorithm. This advice on the eternal theme: “How to avoid conflicts” will help at home. Put on a hat before going out in May to retired parents. Or promise your wife not to drive faster than 80 km/h. As soon as you turn the corner of the building, the headgear can be removed, and how to drive a car is your own business. But everyone was satisfied with each other, and the mood at the height of each potential participant in the quarrel.

If the scandal starts...

An entire branch of psychology is busy deriving a universal formula for how to avoid conflicts. The rules don't always work. And if you are nevertheless drawn into your task, stop the quarrel as quickly as possible. Concentrate on the problem and try to find a compromise. The most important thing is to find out and understand what the other side wants. Never switch to insults and do not remember the past, it is also advisable to abandon generalizing formulations. it main secret how to avoid conflicts in the family - never say "you always say ..." or "you always act ...". Such criticism is dangerous; phrases of this type are perceived by the addressee as the most severe criticism. Summarizing, you make it clear that you are always dissatisfied with the behavior of your interlocutor and perceive him as an unworthy person.

Good mood - salvation from scandals

If you don't know how to avoid conflict, learn to remain calm in any situation. Keep your voice low and keep a friendly tone. It is also helpful to keep a calm smile on your face. When you are criticized, listen carefully and thank you sincerely. If you are dealing with someone above you (boss or parents), emphasize the authority of the speaker. Recognize that without his guidance and advice you would never have thought about it on your own. You will say: "But why obey your parents in adulthood, if it took all your childhood?" In fact, knowing how to avoid is useful for everyone. Appreciate your closest relatives, minor concessions to prevent a quarrel on your part are nothing compared to well-being in the house and a warm atmosphere.

Tricks of life without scandals

Please everyone and always very difficult. It's one thing to keep quiet during a fight and dress up once a month the way your mom wants you to. But it is quite another to dedicate one's life to an unloved profession or to abandon one's own desires. When you are about to give in to someone, try to assess how much this act will harm your life? Being able to defend your interests is also a whole art. In some situations, it is better to survive the quarrel, but continue on your way to the existing landmark. Is there a universal way to avoid conflicts with your parents if they wanted a completely different life for you? Of course, it is worth trying to explain your position and come to an understanding. But if conversations do not work out, you should leave this topic for a while. After all, we all know that quarrels with the closest people are the brightest and strongest, but reconciliation usually happens very quickly.

Summing up

Now you know how to avoid conflict at work or at home. It is enough to stop taking to heart the opinions of others and criticism addressed to you. It is necessary to treat everyone around with understanding, and not to feel hostility towards anyone. Learn to forgive people and delete the unworthy from your life without regret. In some situations, it is easier to give in than to defend your case. If you are confident in yourself and your knowledge, do as you see fit. Don't forget to listen to your opponent. Only by understanding his point of view, you can find a compromise or end the quarrel in another way.

Some conflicts have serious consequences. After a quarrel, you can lose your job. Or your friend does not want to communicate with you further. Even if the conflict ended with a formal reconciliation of the parties, it will take some time to restore the old relationship. Assess the consequences of the quarrel, so that it does not happen, you should not perceive what happened as an apocalypse. If during a quarrel you behaved unworthily or undeservedly offended the interlocutor, you should apologize. The first time after the conflict, it is better to communicate to a minimum, you will definitely be forgiven and understood, but some time is needed. But after a couple of days, you can move on to conciliatory steps. Try to just talk to someone with whom you recently quarreled, please this person with something. If you have a conflict at work, you should try to fulfill your duties at work. highest level and not give new reasons for criticism and censure.

What is actually included in the concept of conflict. Why do people conflict with each other and what is the scale of such clashes. The best ways to avoid confrontations at home, at work and with friends.

The content of the article:

A conflict is a situation of confrontation that can arise both between two people and between groups of individuals. This is one of the side effects of communication of different personalities with different views, characters, goals and worldviews. It cannot be eradicated, but it can be avoided or minimized. To do this, you need to know the nature of conflicts and the main methods of their prevention.

The concept of conflict and its types

There are many definitions that describe the concept of conflict. But at the same time they all show main point this phenomenon - confrontation, contradiction, confrontation between people, expressed aloud.

It's complex dynamic process, which got its name from the Latin "conflictus", which means a collision. It can be based on subjective or objective "inconsistencies". More often it has an open character and is accompanied by emotions with a minus sign, but it allows you to consider the issue from all sides, to hear the opposite point of view.

In the process of formation, the conflict situation has several successive stages of development:

Subject stage. This is the stage of the origin of the conflict, when the object of disagreement is revealed.
Conflict interaction. At this stage, the discovered subject of the conflict is expressed openly. The resistance is developing.
Conflict resolution. There can be two options for the final: complete repayment of the conflict, when the situation is resolved, or partial, when it only subsides or is postponed for later.

The modern classification of conflicts is based on many factors: the number of participants in a conflict situation, its manifestation, consequences, forms of confrontation, etc. Therefore, the number of types of such confrontation is very large. Here are some of the most "running" classifications of conflict situations.

The main types of conflicts:

According to social consequences. According to their outcome, confrontations can be successful or unsuccessful, destructive or creative, constructive or destructive.
By levels of parties to the conflict. Depending on who acts as opposing parties, there are conflicts between individuals or groups of people, between associations, state entities and cultures.
By origin. The following topics can lead to confrontation between the parties: mismatch of values, identification, interests.
in the form of confrontation. Confrontation can manifest itself openly, aggressively or peacefully.
By scale. Depending on how many participants the conflict situation captures, it can be local (local) and limited to a few people or a team, as well as regional, when entire regions enter into confrontation. Also, the conflict can grow to interstate and global scales.
In relation to the participants in the conflict situation itself. Given that the parties to the conflict themselves may have different attitudes towards the misunderstanding that has arisen, the confrontation can be genuine, random, hidden or false, objective or subjective.
By tactics. The manifestation of resistance can occur in different form: in the form of debates and debates, in the form of a game, or more severely - in the form of active physical impact (fight, military operations).

Causes of conflicts

The existence of a person is multifaceted, and therefore the reasons for the emergence of confrontation can affect a variety of areas of human activity. The conflict can be based on purely emotional hostility, rejection of certain forms of behavior or certain situations, etc. Let us dwell on the most significant factors that form conflict situations.

Common causes of conflicts:

Goals. Misunderstanding or rejection of the desired result, when people see the outcome of their activities (actions, decisions, behavior) differently, often leads to confrontation.
views. Quite often, a conflict arises between parties that differ in their vision of how to solve a certain situation (problem).
The senses. A conflict situation can also be purely personal in nature, when its participants simply cannot agree on the level of emotions and feelings for each other.

If we consider these causal factors from the perspective of human activities, they will look like this:

Causes of social conflicts. Social confrontation is a necessary condition for the development of society. It can be based on several positions: social inequality, heterogeneity of culture and customs, difference in values and ideology. Many social confrontations are based on economic factors and the degree of distribution of power. Within the family, the causes for conflicts can be different views on life, parenting, intimate relationships, jealousy, financial and domestic problems, bad habits and addictions.
Causes of conflicts within an organization. The forced presence within a heterogeneous team in the conditions of one organization inevitably leads to confrontations. In this case, the struggle for leadership, unsatisfactory working conditions, the difference of interests, understanding of the labor process and subordination, distribution of material wealth and incentives can serve as a spark to ignite the conflict in this case.
Causes of interethnic conflicts. Enmity between states or subjects of different nationalities can be caused by the desire to improve economic situation or boundaries of influence, living conditions, restoration of lost rights or geographic boundaries. No less reasons for ethnic strife are provided by historical, religious and confessional differences, political games and the numerical superiority of one nation over another.

Understanding the cause of a conflict situation gives a great advantage to those who want to manage it. Most effective method how to avoid conflict is based precisely on the knowledge of its nature.

How to avoid conflict

Most people who become participants in a confrontation try to justify their behavior by circumstances, emotional background, provocative behavior of the interlocutor, etc. They do not even suspect that there are ways to avoid conflict - in any situation.

There are some general tips that will help to stop the conflict “in the bud”, no matter what its cause and how many participants are in it:

Keep your emotions under control. The best way to prevent or constructively end a conflict situation is to turn off emotions and your ego. It is a “sober head” that will help to conduct a dialogue in such a way that later you will not regret what was said or done.
Don't wind yourself up. Learn to live in the moment, without running your thoughts and fantasies into the future - do not think about what is not, and what has not happened yet. It often happens that we wind ourselves up, building in our heads unthinkable variations in the development of events, on which we then build our claims. Although it turns out that all of them turned out to be far-fetched.
Be attentive to the interlocutor. If you have a reason to discuss a problem, advise or find out something, choose the right time to talk - when the interlocutor is set to dialogue. If he is out of sorts, tired, upset or angry - you have every chance to turn communication into a conflict situation.
Don't remember the past. Make it a rule not to “attach” past misconduct and mistakes of your interlocutor to today's problem. Such tactics will only aggravate the confrontation. This is a very effective way to avoid conflicts with loved ones.
Do not accumulate resentment and problems in yourself. Unresolved controversial points, unspoken feelings and resentments tend to accumulate and splash out as a fountain of negative emotions. Naturally, conflicts during such bursts cannot be avoided.
Remain calm and polite. To ensure that the conflict situation is quickly resolved or does not arise at all, watch your speech. Do not hysteria, speak in a calm tone, without insults, ridicule and mockery.

How to Avoid Conflicts with Your Boss

Most of our lives are spent at work, so the possibility of misunderstandings in this area of life is great. Moreover, they can arise in several planes - with colleagues or with a higher-ranking employee, boss.

The main rules for avoiding conflicts at work with the boss:

The boss is always right. Remember this main principle any guide. And even if it is very difficult to comply with it, in any case, your confrontation should be deliberate, tactful and adequate.
Calm, just calm. If you have fallen under the hot hand of the boss or consider the claims made against you unfounded, refrain from a stormy response. Wait until the "aggressor" calms down, and only then find out all the points that you do not understand.
Gossip - stop. Make it a rule not to discuss management with your colleagues. Even outside of work and in an informal setting. There is no guarantee that your words will not reach the ears of the object of discussion.
Right Relationship. Do not allow frivolity and fawning in communication with the leadership. Only professionalism in communication and behavior will help you avoid confrontation with both management and colleagues.

How to avoid conflicts with colleagues

The main ways to avoid conflicts with colleagues at work:

Keep your distance. A working relationship will not only provide you with the most effective conditions work, but will not make you the object or victim of gossip.
Be impartial. If you are involved in a conflict, do not choose sides and remain neutral. You do not know how it will end and what consequences it will leave behind. Be calm and reasonable even when you are one of the parties to the conflict situation. Even if the cause of the conflict is personal "intolerance".
Follow the principle of "tête-à-tête". Try to seek resolution to any misunderstandings and quarrels alone with the interlocutor, outside the team.
Respect the experience of others. If you are uncomfortable with the comments or attempts to interfere in your work by more experienced employees, do not hesitate to calmly find out the reason for such an attitude towards yourself. If you are truly "sinful", accept help and improve.

How to avoid conflicts with friends

Life shows that moments of misunderstanding and disagreement can arise even between the most best friends. Given the same life - there are not many good friends, so you should not risk them and confront them.

Move away from conflicts. If you see that your friend is aggressive and a conflict situation is inevitable, physically move away from the collision. You can think of urgent matters, an unresolved problem, the iron not turned off - anything that will give you a reason to stop communicating with a friend at the moment of his "inadequacy".
Pause. Try not to react to remarks and barbs right away, especially if they are petty and insignificant. Use the classic counting method to 10. And there you will see how to answer and whether it is worth answering at all.
Prioritize. If a conflict is inevitable, think about what is more important for you - to maintain friendly relations or to prove your point of view. In this case, you can blindly agree with the instigator or try to jointly find a global solution to the problem that has arisen.

How to avoid conflicts with parents

The conflict of fathers and children is an age-old problem of relations, the relevance of which will exist as long as its participants themselves. Parental love combined with life experience do not always find a common language with youth and the desire for independence.

Basic principles of how to avoid conflicts with loved ones:

Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. Try to approach the causes of conflicts impartially and correct when necessary.
Don't give in to feelings. Leave unanswered provocations and intentions to unbalance you. Often emotions make it difficult to see the root of the problem and the correct way to solve it.
Be tactful and forgiving. Politeness, calm tone and the ability to listen without interrupting - The best way show the importance of good relationships with loved ones. Make allowances for the age of relatives, emotional background, state of health. Everyone has mood swings and bad health.
Prevent conflicts. Do not accumulate resentment and misunderstandings so that they do not create the ground for a confrontation.

How to avoid conflict with children

No less reasons for misunderstanding and clashes can arise with your own children. This makes it much more difficult to maintain a productive parent-child bond.

The main rules for avoiding conflicts with children:

See the root of the problem. Very often children use conflict situations in order to attract attention. And parents - in the first place. Learn to first see the cause of the confrontation that has arisen, and only then choose the way to solve it.
Criticize the right way. A child, like any adult, is unpleasant to hear critical remarks addressed to him. Therefore, try to make comments to your child correctly: firstly, in essence, secondly, with a continuation, that is, explaining how he can improve, become better.
Explain your failures. If you do not intend to satisfy every desire of your child, learn to argue it. Ignoring will only exacerbate the problem, because the child perceives such an attitude towards himself as indifference.
Communicate with children more often. It is confidential communication that makes it possible to find out everything that your child breathes - his fears, desires, moods, dreams. And, accordingly, to avoid conflict situations.

How to avoid conflict with your loved one

If relationships with parents and children are blood relationships, then relationships with their other half have a slightly different angle. This perspective gives a lot of reasons for the emergence of conflict confrontations. And if not found best way how to avoid conflicts in the family, this family may or may not be, or not become.

The main ways to avoid conflicts with your partner:

Respect your other half. Remember that your significant other is a person who has their own tastes, habits, interests and preferences. After all, that's the kind of person you fell in love with.
Be sincere and honest. The best cement for strengthening relationships is sincerity and openness. At the same time, do not forget that it is dishonest to demand from your partner what you cannot do or what you yourself do not possess.
Listen to yourself. Before you start a conflict or get offended, look inside yourself. Perhaps emotions, fatigue, or ordinary hunger speak in you. And keep in mind that your half can be driven by the same reasons.
Be kinder. It is well known that a kind word is also pleasant for a cat. Therefore, notice more good things in your partner, praise and motivate.

Important! Remember that happy people simply don't have the time or reason to sort things out with someone and gossip.

How to avoid conflicts - look at the video:

AT modern world conflicts have fertile ground for development, but this does not mean that this state of affairs should be accepted as the norm. Peaceful communication and mutual understanding make life more beautiful and fruitful. Therefore, it is worth fighting to keep all confrontations to a minimum.

In any human relationship, there are disagreements from time to time. And at work, and in the family, and in relationships between lovers, conflict situations occur. Many people experience them quite painfully. And absolutely in vain. You need to learn how to properly relate to such situations and know how to competently resolve the conflict.

Psychologists advise to treat positively - as an opportunity to clarify and even modify relationships.

Learning to resolve conflicts

In the event of a conflict, it is imperative to let the partner let off steam: try to listen to all his claims calmly and patiently, without interrupting or commenting. In this case internal stress will decrease both for you and for your opponent.

After the emotions are splashed out, you can offer to substantiate the claims. At the same time, it is necessary to monitor the situation so that the opposite side of the conflict does not again switch from a constructive discussion of problems to an emotional one. If this happens, you need to tactfully guide the debater to intellectual conclusions.

put out negative emotions partner, you can give him a sincere compliment or remind him of something good and pleasant from a common past.

Respect for the opponent is a prerequisite for how to resolve the conflict correctly. It will impress even an extremely angry person. If, in such a situation, the partner is offended, personalized, it will definitely not be possible to resolve the conflict.

What to do if the opponent could not restrain himself and switched to shouting? Do not break into reciprocal abuse!

If you feel guilty about the conflict yourself, do not be afraid to apologize. Remember that only smart people can do this.

Some methods of behavior in a conflict situation

There are several proven tricks on how to resolve conflict.

Reception number 1. Try to imagine yourself as a commentator watching an argument. Look at the conflict as if from the outside, and above all - at yourself.

Mentally fence yourself off with an impenetrable cap or body armor - you will immediately feel that the barbs and unpleasant words of your opponent seem to break against the barrier you have set up, and no longer hurt so sharply.

Seeing from the position of a commentator what qualities you lack in a conflict, endow yourself with them in your imagination and continue the argument as if you have them.

If you do this regularly, the missing qualities will really appear.

Reception number 2. How to resolve the conflict between the disputants? This very simple technique often helps not only to relieve tension, but to avoid confrontation altogether. You just need to move away or move away from the enemy. The closer the conflicting parties are physically, the stronger the intensity of passions.

Reception number 3. Surprise your opponent at the moment of conflict with a non-standard phrase or joke. It's just a great way to resolve conflict. It’s hard to argue with a person who is set to joke!

Reception number 4. If it is absolutely clear that the interlocutor deliberately provokes a conflict, offends and simply does not give a chance to answer, in such a situation it is better to leave, saying that you do not want to continue the conversation in this tone. It's better to move it to tomorrow.

By taking a time out, you will calm down, get a break to find the right words. And the person who provoked the quarrel will lose his confidence during this time.

What Not to Do in a Conflict

Good self-control is the key to success

You need to learn how to restrain emotions and In a conflict with partners or clients, it is strictly prohibited:

irritable tone and swearing;
a clear demonstration of one's own superiority;
criticism of the opponent;
searching for negative intentions in his actions;
disclaiming responsibility, blaming the partner for everything;
ignoring the interests of the opponent;
exaggeration of one's role in the common cause;
pressure on pain points.

The best way to get out of a conflict is not to bring it up

Psychologists advise treating conflict as a positive factor. If at the very beginning of building relationships, noticing conflict points, not hushing them up, you can stop serious quarrels in the bud.

You need to try to "put out the fire" even before it flared up. Therefore, the best way to resolve the conflict is not to bring it to it. Indeed, in life there are already a lot of difficulties, and nerve cells will still come in handy.

Often the cause of confrontation is the accumulation of unspoken negativity. A person is annoyed by something in the behavior of a colleague or simply infuriated by some habit of a loved one, but he does not know how to say this so as not to spoil the relationship. Therefore, he is patient and silent. The effect is just the opposite. The accumulated irritation sooner or later spills out in an uncontrolled form, which can lead to a serious conflict. Therefore, it is very important not to bring it to a “boiling point”, but to calmly and tactfully express your claims as soon as they arise.

When Not to Avoid Conflict

But there are times when it is not worth it, because it is she who will help solve the problem. You can deliberately go into conflict if:

you need to defuse the situation by finding out what is sore with a loved one;
there is a need to break off relations;
to yield to an opponent means for you to betray your ideals.

But we must remember that deliberately going into conflict, it is necessary to sort things out intelligently.

How to Resolve Conflict Properly

To get out of the conflict situation as quickly as possible and with the least losses, we offer the following sequence of actions.

1. First of all, the existence of conflict must be recognized. We must not allow a situation where people feel opposition and act according to their chosen tactics, but do not openly talk about it. It will not be possible to resolve such a conflict without a joint discussion of the parties.

2. Having recognized the conflict, it is necessary to agree on negotiations. They can be either face to face or with the participation of an intermediary who suits both parties.

3. Determine what exactly constitutes the subject of confrontation. As practice shows, the parties to the conflict often see the essence of the problem differently. Therefore, it is necessary to find common ground in understanding the dispute. Already at this stage, it is important to determine whether convergence of positions is possible.

4. Develop several options for solutions, taking into account all possible consequences.

5. After considering all options, settle on one that suits both parties. Record the decision in writing.

6. Implement the solution. If this is not done immediately, the conflict will only deepen, and it will be much more difficult to re-negotiate.