It seems to me that one of the most common desires of people is the desire to feel more confident in various life situations.

But how can this be done?

Confident people may say: How? Just be confident!". However, for an insecure person, such advice will not be useful. He will not be accepted by the council at all.

But still there are time-tested, timeless tips. In this article, I will tell you about some of them. And in order to become really self-confident and fully feel your inner strength, of course, it is better to find psychological trainings dedicated to this problem.

But I hope that in this article you will find something useful for yourself and in this way you will be able to correct and maintain your self-confidence at the proper level.

1. Take action. Do your job diligently.

The most important step to gaining self-confidence is taking action. Work on the problem and see it through to the end. If you sit at home and think about what you want to do, it will only make things worse for you. This is the simple truth. But it is not always easy to implement. To make it a little easier to implement, here are three of my favorite ways to push yourself into action:

• be present. This will help you put aside unnecessary thoughts and just do what you decide to do. Probably this best advice about how to get started, of all the ones I've come across lately. Being in the right place will force you to act, and very often it will even seem to you that you are going with the flow and doing nothing, but, in fact, you will act without making any extra effort. It's about the same as with breathing - your lungs work, and you don't even think about it.
• Take it easy. If you want to dissuade yourself from doing something, you must take the task at hand too seriously. This way you will feel how huge, complex and creepy it is. But if you calm down and relax a little, you will most likely see that the problems related to your task were largely created by your imagination. If you calmly approach the matter, then the problems no longer seem so serious, and if there are no serious problems it's always easier to get started. You can read more about this in the article Lighten Up!
• Crave. If you really want something, then it will not be difficult for you to start acting. Action in such a situation is quite natural. They arise because you don't want to wait any longer.

Of course, I could advise you to practice in front of a mirror for several months. This may give good results. Simply because if you prepare yourself, you will act more confidently.

But in truth, if you use the quotes above and face what you fear, you will gain deeper and stronger self-confidence. Experience in the area that caused fear really gives real self-confidence. You can't get away from this.

However, you can face your fear and still not feel trembling in your knees. There are ways to help yourself do this:

• Be Curious. When you are busy with your fear, you are closed. You are trying to create barriers in your world and in your brain. You are shielding yourself from other people/things. And if you show curiosity, then your perception of the outside world will come to life and the world will open for you. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and zeal. It makes you open. And when you are open and passionate, then you do not have enough time for your fear. But how do you learn to be genuinely curious? You just have to always remember that joyous feeling that you had once when you first showed curiosity, and also remember all the good things that happened to you when you got some new experience.
• Realize that fear is often based on a misunderstanding of the problem.. Like all people, we tend to look for examples. But the thing is that we very often find bad or useless examples of events that happened to us due to lack of experience. Or because of an incorrectly assessed situation. Or because of someone's stupid misunderstanding. When you identify with your thoughts, you believe everything that comes into your mind. It will be better for you not to take your thoughts too seriously. In many cases, your thoughts, as well as your memory, are wrong.

Image *Zara (license).

3. Understand the procedure.

One of my favorite bits of movie dialogue is the dialogue from Three Kings (1999).

In this dialogue, Major Archie Gates (played by George Clooney) orders a small group of soldiers to rescue their comrade and extract Saddam's gold, which was left over from the first Gulf War.

Young soldier Conrad Vig (played by Spike Jonze) expresses his doubts about the plan of action:

Archie Gates: You are afraid, aren't you?
Conrad Vig: Maybe.
Archie Gates: Everything happens as follows: what you are afraid of, you make very scary, and courage comes after you were not afraid and did it, and not before you do it.
Conrad Vig: Idiot approach. There must be a different approach.
Archie Gates: I know, but this approach works.

Great movie! Great dialogue! Even if it's not at all what people want to hear.

The point is that when you take action, you don't just gain confidence that you can handle different situations, you also lose the sharpness of feelings. In our cases, you can talk, for example, about a speech in front of an audience or about publishing a new blog post - about what first makes you nervous and, perhaps, trembling with fear, and then becomes an increasingly common event in your life. It will take quite a bit of time, and you will perceive the worked out situation as something completely normal. As normal as trying on shoes, chatting with friends, or taking a shower.

Now it may seem terrible. But after you've dealt with the thing that caused you fear ten times, you might think: "What's so scary here?" You may even be disappointed if the thing that caused your fear becomes a routine for you. You may even be angry with yourself and not understand why you could not take up this matter for so long.

4. Get ready.

If you do not know anything about what you are going to do, it will be difficult for you not to get lost in a vague and foggy fear. This fear will give rise to terrible images of what can happen if you try to take on the desired business.

Education and preparation can help you a lot. For example, by listening to and rewriting your speech over and over again, you can easily memorize it. By researching something, you can find answers to related questions that you may need in the future. Or even just by imagining how you will perform, you will become more confident in yourself.

Of course, if you don't have public speaking experience, you still won't be able to deliver a speech the way an experienced speaker would. But if you take the time to prepare, you will feel much more confident. And, of course, by preparing a speech, you will improve its content.

Therefore, get ready and in the end you will feel calmer and more confident. But make no mistake, do not get hung up on preparation. This is, in fact, an excuse for your inaction due to possible failure.

5. Realize that if you fail or make a mistake, nothing irreparable will happen.

Again, you have to face your fear. Because only in this way can you discover everything that billions of people before you throughout the history of mankind have discovered for themselves. Failure won't kill you. Nobody will judge you. The end of the world will not come. Nothing will happen that people who have not yet faced their fear are set on.

The whole trick is to rethink the failure and not take it as a model, but take something useful and important out of it. Something that will help increase your self-confidence and your overall spiritual growth. Here are four examples of how your failure is good for you:

• You are studying. Instead of seeing failure as something terrible, try to look at it as a learning experience. When you experience failure, ask yourself the question: What's so bad about this situation? What can I take away from it?
• You get an experience that is impossible to get in any other way.. Of course, it is desirable to learn from the mistakes and failures of other people. But, in fact, this is not always possible. Sometimes you just need to suffer your own failure and learn your own lesson from it. Your practical experience will be incomparable with anyone's empty words.
• you get stronger. Every time you fail, you get stronger. You are becoming more and more aware that this is not the end of the world. And, again, you begin to take the situation calmly. You can easily cope with what seemed impossible to you a few years ago. Failure can also be energizing, because even though you didn't get your way, at least you took the risk. You just don't have to sit idly by. Inaction cools determination and takes away courage.
• You are more likely to succeed. Every time you fail, you have the opportunity to learn something and thus strengthen your inner strength. So every failure brings you closer

You have probably already read articles on how to become self-confident, and you know everything, but what to do if you are still not feel yourself confident? Sometimes it takes time for emotions to match behavior, but you can get off the ground right now. Perhaps, in order to feel better, you just do not have enough exercise and beautiful clothes. Or maybe you need to learn to think positively and smile more often. In any case, gaining self-confidence is an ongoing process that (if successful) will greatly improve the quality of your life.

Steps

trick the brain

Think positive. If you think about it, reality is just a perception. If you feel confident, then so be it. If everything around you is going wrong, but you don't notice it, then nothing really is lost, right? So start thinking positively! By this you do not deceive yourself. Do not think that positive thoughts are stupid, because you are just taking matters into your own hands.

• If you catch yourself thinking, "Oh my god, I'm so fat" stop. Rephrase. Say it again, only this time think like this: "I don't like my weight. What am I doing to change it?" Thoughts should not only be sunny and rosy, but it’s still worth being kinder to yourself.
• Positive thinking leads to positive and more confident behavior. Do you know what happens when you think negatively about yourself? It turns into a habit, because of which you begin to see negativity in everyone. You may gossip, complain, or become one of those people who constantly puts others down. Don't allow it.

Be grateful. So, you have already read the article on how to think positively, but are still confused? Then start with gratitude. The more events that occur in your life, you remember, the higher the likelihood that everything is not so bad for you. The only sad thing is that we very easily forget what we have!

• Think about it. You are alive, dressed, you have talents (what?), people who love you, and the future - and this is just the main thing. That's what most people have (or at least the people on wikiHow) and what do you have that others don't?

A considerable part of people are introverts, for whom communication is a psychologically painful procedure. They experience discomfort from multiple views, the need to speak out in public, the “informality” of behavior that is required of them.

Others, on the contrary, tell jokes with ease, smile naturally, and radiate confidence.

“I was not born with charm!”, “What should I do?” - Admit it, you are familiar with such a train of thought? An unconditional willingness to admit to being a loser? Thus lay down all responsibility and all the heavy burden of risk and the possibility of failure.

Politeness, etiquette, morality - these things perfectly describe how the average person should behave at a social event. They pave a path for him, along which he will happily run a gray mouse that no one has noticed. But while running, he will eagerly look around at the supermen of charisma and charm surrounding him, to which, unfortunately, he is not destined to join.

Politeness, etiquette, morality - these are exactly the things that you must forget about if you want to prove yourself.

The first and only thing that matters is self-confidence.

Exude confidence

No, we do not want to say that you should spit in the face of public opinion, climb naked on the bar, sing a song and crack a disgruntled bartender in the head with a bottle of whiskey. It’s just that these concepts should not be restraining barriers that make you doubt your actions and show indecision.

It is they who make you fear failure, which is why there is a feeling of insecurity. People are most often afraid to cross the threshold of what is permitted, and therefore do not dare to do anything. Believe me, these boundaries exist only in your head.

Self-confidence is extremely important at events. This is the magical cloak that makes a superman out of a man. She works wonders and is almost entirely responsible for the formation of such concepts as "individual style", "image" and "".

But confidence is not something that can be developed overnight. It takes time to create an inner core. However, most people do not take any steps to achieve this long-term goal. Why? Because everyone is sure that his character is given to him by nature, and he is not subject to change. However, many psychologists argue Your Personality Can Change (and Probably Should) . that a person's character changes throughout life.

Where to start

1. Play a successful person. Imagine that you are an actor, and your role is a confident person. You just have to start acting like you have no doubts about your actions.

Feeling confident and imitating it perfectly are two identical things in the eyes of outsiders.

As for you, once you begin to play the role of a determined person, you will gradually begin to feel accordingly. Of course, it will not work right away, but with practice the skill will come.

Do not be afraid that your role can become comedic - this is also commendable.

2. Always make eye contact. Even with people you don't know. Do not walk with your head down, look people straight in the eye, do not be shy about it. Eye contact on an unconscious level creates either a sense of intimacy or a sense of competition. In any case, this technique is the easiest way to stand out without saying a word.

3. Communicate constantly. Even if you don't know anyone. Forget about your smartphone - the lifesaver of shy people (better leave it at home). Take yourself by the scruff of the neck, drag yourself to the first person you meet, put a smile on your face and start a conversation cheerfully. Then the conversation will start by itself. And if that doesn't work, just go to another person.

4. Don't be afraid to make a mistake.“And if I say something wrong?”, “If I joke unsuccessfully?”, “If they don’t understand me?” - forget about these thoughts. Even if you do something wrong, the real consequences will be much less terrible than you imagine. Treat what is happening as a test. Over time, you will feel that you need less and less effort. The very naturalness that you have always dreamed of will appear in your actions.

5. Smile and have fun. At all meetings there are people who are the gravitational centers of communication. Enthusiastic interlocutors constantly crowd around them, they themselves laugh and chat merrily about everything in the world. Do you know what makes them different? Skill from what is happening. This is your main task and ultimate goal.

Once you can play the role of a confident person, you will become confident. When you become confident, you will calm down and stop being afraid of mistakes. And after that, a sincere smile will appear on your face, and an aura of goodwill and sociability will shine around you.

Take care of your appearance

You must look good. But remember: the point of visually preparing yourself for a meeting is not to please others. All this is necessary to increase and maintain the necessary decisiveness.

Clothing style should be appropriate for the type of event you are attending. But that's not all: choose clothes that are on trend. Even if you have ignored fashion all your life, try wearing something atypical for yourself. Clothes that you would never dare to wear. It should not be too bright, but it should make you stand out from the crowd.

You will immediately notice the psychological effect: slight insecurity will soon be replaced by self-satisfaction due to interested glances thrown in your direction.

Shower, deodorant, decent clothes - these things are implied by default. However, there are some nuances that are extremely important to consider. They may seem obvious to you, but a huge number of people forget about these little things.

1. Get a decent haircut.

2. Get rid of unibrows.

3. Don't forget nose hair.

4. Tidy up your beard and mustache, if you have them.

5. Trim your nails.

1. You should not go to a party without, as flashes of light can make the fabric transparent.

2. If you don't know what to wear, remember: skinny jeans paired with a nice blouse is always a good option.

3. Never wear clothes that make you feel uncomfortable.

4. Do not forget that the line between "sexy" and "vulgar" is very thin.

Leave on time

Whatever vivid impression you leave about yourself, you can completely put an end to it without leaving the party in time. If you're visiting, never be the last to leave, but don't rush to take your leave either.

Try to read the signs of fatigue in the eyes and gestures of the owners. If you realize that they are no longer averse to ending the meeting, your public announcement of your resignation will encourage others to follow your example. The owners will only be grateful to you.

Whether the event was formal or friendly, be sure to speak to the hosts or organizers before leaving. Even if the latter are busy entertaining other guests, politely intervene, thank them and say goodbye.

"", "sociophobe", "misanthrope" - all these are labels that exist only in people's heads. Do not limit yourself to artificially created concepts. There is nothing and no one more unpredictable, absurd and capable of change than a person. The main thing is to constantly expand your comfort zone. With time, you will succeed.

Of course, it's great when a person can do absolutely everything. But quite often disbelief in one's own strengths does not make it possible to achieve the results that could be. Missed opportunities give rise to new discontent and disbelief in one's own strength, which leads to another defeat. How to break this vicious circle and finally learn to behave with the necessary confidence?

Self-confidence is essential for many people. However, it must be said that this quality is of a fickle nature and depends on the situation. For example, you can feel very confident in a friendly company and even be known as a merry fellow and joker, when suddenly, unexpectedly for yourself, you lose all your courage if you need to make a presentation. At the same time, the reverse situation is also quite likely, when a person who is used to daily performances suddenly becomes shy when he finds himself in a normal situation, for example, in a store.

Think for yourself, how can a tailor who is suddenly put at the piano feel confident? No, he can be a very good tailor and feel completely confident in his workshop, but playing the piano is another matter. He just doesn't have enough experience with it. But if he starts playing scales day after day, then in a year, or maybe earlier, he will quite confidently perform at least simple pieces. And if he continues to continue his studies, then - who knows? It is possible that he will make a good pianist, and he will feel quite confident on stage.

If you don't know how to learn how to behave confidently in certain circumstances, just devote some time to daily practice. Confidence will definitely come with the necessary experience. If you want to feel confident behind the wheel - drive a car more, if you want to gain confidence in communicating with people of the opposite sex - communicate more with them.

Spend more time talking to management and you'll stop breaking out in cold sweats in front of your boss, if you're afraid to speak in front of an audience, do more presentations. In other words, your main task is to learn how to act in the necessary direction. And even though everything will not work out for you right away, and sometimes nothing will work out at all - remember that even the greatest athletes spend several hours every day training.

Confidence on the outside, confidence on the inside

In order to learn how to behave confidently, use the old technique used by psychotherapists. Of course, there is a direct relationship between how a person feels and how he looks. But to a lesser extent, the opposite is also true. A simple example: try smiling and you will immediately feel your mood improve.

Likewise with confidence. To feel more confident, act like a confident person. Look at yourself in the mirror - does it reflect a confident person? Let's fix this. Round your back and roll your shoulders forward. Now, in a circular motion, lift them up, take them back and lower them. Evaluate the result, remember it, and also remember the inner peace that has gripped you at the moment.

A self-confident person walks with a free gait, with a raised head and straightened shoulders. Pay attention to this and try to take the necessary position more often, until it becomes natural for you. If you learn to look like a confident person, then you will come out and behave confidently in any situation.

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Self-confidence is one of the most important qualities in a person's life. You can achieve anything if you have this faith. Faith in your own strength and faith in your beauty. A few tips for those who have not yet fallen in love with themselves, we will give today.

This is not a tiny nuance - it is clearly important. You will be surprised how clothes change a girl, and not so much externally as internally. The rule of choosing a set magically transforms, so until you find something in which you feel as attractive and relaxed as possible, not a foot from home!

Yes, your mother (and your teachers) were right when it was almost like a mantra to chant "stand still and straighten up." Standing and sitting upright not only improves your health, but also boosts your self-confidence.

In addition to a beautiful body, you will get a lot of endorphins, and endorphins, as you know, are “happiness hormones”. When you are happy, there is no question why you feel better among people and on your own. Harmony is above all.

Waxing, a full body massage or a banal contrast shower will give you more self-confidence. When you take care of yourself, spending time and effort on it, you begin to look and feel presentable, and this, albeit a small one, is still a step towards inner self-confidence.

The power of your own thinking is stronger than anything in this world. In other words, you are what you think of yourself. So if you know how to control your thoughts and tell yourself that you really can, then by all means do it!

Imagine where, when and who you want to be. Imagine getting the job you've been dreaming of for a long time, or achieving the best results in school or college. Create in your head a strong and positive image and confidence will come.

It’s great to visualize and focus on yourself, but helping others is no less rewarding. Whether it's a friend next to you or a random stranger, reach out to them! It will make you think better of yourself and make someone else's life easier.

The environment in which you live and spend most of your time has a huge impact on your state of mind. By creating a clean and positive environment around you should be constantly engaged. Fold your clothes, put away what you don't need, decorate the room to your liking. All of these contribute to your inner happiness. You cannot be sure of yourself if you are dissatisfied with yourself and your home.

Don't count the bad moments - focus on the good ones. Count how many men opened the door for you today, how many people looked admiringly, and how many smiles you caused on the faces of others! ...