Emotions belong to the astral plane and do not arise as a result of any event, but as a result of a mental assessment of this event (the same event in different people can cause different emotions, for example, someone will be infuriated that another car cut, and some will move on.) Aggression in a person appears as a reaction to fear or due to the inability to realize a desire. In itself, aggression is not something bad or good (assessments are the elements of the mental body, not the astral one), it, like other emotions, are tools and signals that allow you to better understand what is happening and manage yourself, the body (for example , aggression, in an instant, brings the etheric and physical bodies into a state of combat readiness, increased activity and the ability to make any serious efforts, a breakthrough, to overcome something).
Often, suppression reaches automatism and a person does not notice this process at all, it seems to him that he almost never gets angry, does not feel aggression towards anyone or anything, that everything in life suits him. In fact, when the first signs of aggression appear, instantly, bypassing consciousness, a program is activated that suppresses aggression, transfers a person’s attention to a different direction. As a rule, the signal that there is aggression does not reach consciousness, because. emotion is taboo from infancy and a person, even to himself, cannot admit the presence of aggression.
 |
Aggression, like other emotions, when suppressed, begins to destroy the person himself. Tension accumulates in it, discomfort and a desire to somehow relieve tension increase. A person endures, endures, swells up, and then he suddenly breaks through on any trifle and for any reason, and then (in the case of a large deep suppression of aggression), he can start up even more and wind up what was not there, draw far-reaching distorted conclusions ( you put your shoes wrong, so you don’t love me), a person who is called carries, he pours out with rage. Often, the negative goes to the innocent, for example, domestic, passers-by, subordinates, shop assistants, pets, while the reason for aggression is completely different, but in that situation there was a ban on manifestation. |
Such splashing, as a rule, does not benefit relations with others (see the example of the displacement of aggression). For some time, people can tolerate aggressive outbursts, and then they begin to close from the person, leave, avoid any interaction, or go on a counterattack, both overt and covert (for example, in the form of sabotage, gloating, spreading gossip). A person is left with either a scorched desert around, or enemies and ill-wishers with whom he is constantly at war.
In order to resist aggression (both explicit and hidden), a person is forced to descend in the frequency of vibrations, as if to crystallize, condense, close, which is far from being tolerated by everyone with pleasure and ease.
If aggression manifested itself in relation to the person who caused it, but after a long time, then nothing constructive arises here - a person may not understand what such inadequate outbursts are connected with, not learn a lesson, not change his behavior, but only be offended and want to somehow -either way to return the favor, to restore justice. Accordingly, the relationship can become even more tense, the flywheel of negativity will begin to spin.
Schematically, the process of suppressing and splashing out aggression can be represented as follows:
1
 unfulfilled desire or fear |
2
 emergence of aggression |
3
 suppression |
4
 growth pressure |
5
 Search suitable victim |
6
 sloshing negative for her. |
The suppression of any emotion gradually leads to the fact that they all begin to be experienced more superficially, weakly, and therefore joy is not lived as brightly as before, it fades.
What to do?
For a person, many of his states can be an indicator of the presence of aggression, but not be perceived as such. The mind can begin to speculate in terms (“I am not aggressive, but offended”, “this is not aggression, but I just have such a sense of humor”), so as not to admit the presence of aggression, so that there is nothing to work with. Therefore, I will give a small list of states synonymous with aggression: sarcasm, desire to mischief, resentment, anger, rage, envy, arrogance, contempt, self-flagellation, gloating, argument, irritation, desire to blame, boycott, sabotage, desire to humiliate, bullying, violation of human boundaries, rudeness , hatred, flattery, systematic tardiness, blackmail, malice, hatred. To work with aggression, it is important to catch such states in yourself. And, if there really is aggression, then admit to yourself that it exists and that it is sometimes suppressed. This is the first and very important step in the work.
Further, it is desirable to learn how to register the emergence of aggression in oneself, i.e. so that it does not splash out unexpectedly and incomprehensibly, after a few hours or months, but is found "in hot pursuit", immediately. It is necessary to develop the habit of “waking up”, remembering yourself, registering what is happening, identifying the source that gave rise to aggression, learning to notice the inclusion and operation of the suppression mechanism.
Often, having noticed the appearance of aggression, you can immediately take certain actions to eliminate the causes (for example, ask your husband to turn the TV down or tell the person that now there is no time to talk at all). In situations where it is possible to show aggression, it is desirable to show it, but if it is inappropriate, then you can work out the situation a little later and throw out aggression in one of the following ways:
- If the cause of aggression is in a person’s act, then imagine him in front of you and clearly tell him everything that you cannot say in a real situation. Do not filter, do not include the mind in this process, if there is a mate, then let the mate go, if there are tears - cry, if you want to yell - yell. As the saying goes, call a spade a spade.
- You can buy some kind of pillow for yourself at home and, when necessary, beat it, throw it, trample it, in general, do whatever you want with it, as furiously as possible, let go of yourself, remove thoughts that this is stupid, frivolous, remove control of the mind . It is better not to sleep on this pillow, use it only to release aggression.
- Buy a few dozen eggs or something like that (even better - snowballs) and leave them against a wall, rock, stone, trying to make the fragments scatter as much as possible.
- After meeting with a person, you can angrily tear papers for some time, let off steam. Or packages, moderately strong, so that they can be torn with force and a cry.
- You can make stabbing blows into the sand with a stick (try not to impose the image of the offender on this sand).
- go to gym, or beat the pear to exhaustion, i.e. translate emotion into ethereal energy, work it out.
- Massage, body-oriented therapy
Folk festivals, songs, dances sometimes serve as a kind of body-oriented therapy (or a kind of dynamic meditation), when a person removes some of his inhibitions and begins to express different ways accumulated suppressed energy (not always violently and in the form of a fight, maybe just some extravagant unusual dance, when the body is left to itself), there is some unloading, stress release, the person feels better. Crying and laughing often help in the process of relieving tension.
All of the above is work with the consequences, ways to show the accumulated aggression in an environmentally friendly way.
 |
It should be noted that an aggressive state can be caught from another person to whom attention is paid. At this moment, attention, as it were, penetrates, merges with the person and begins to read what the other person feels. And emotions are perceived as their own. So, looking at a mother who is angry with her children, one can enter a furious state in a second and a desire will clearly appear to do something bad to these children. For someone, the hook and identification is stronger, for someone it is weaker. Also, similar effects can occur during communication, or simply from the fact that you are next to a person in a state of aggression. |
Other feelings are glorified in the same way, for example, one joyful employee can change the atmosphere in the team, turn everyone on, and such people, as a rule, are very fond of.
Often, a person cannot admit to himself the true causes of aggression, look in their direction, because there may be great pain that one does not want to live through or some unsatisfactory state of being, which, having manifested itself, will require significant changes from a person (for example, if a person admits to himself that he is incompetent or that he has not been satisfied with his job for a long time and it is necessary to look for a new one), it will no longer be possible to turn a blind eye to this. So, the mind instantly and in large numbers comes up with various excuses, superficial explanations (“I’m not aggressive, I just have such a voice”) that do not solve anything (“such a character”, “genes”, “it was impossible to do otherwise” - various rationalizations and intellectualizations), looking for reasons outside, very far (a bad state, employees are solid villains, climate, the era of human development) in order to calm down and relieve tension for a while, but never find the true source of aggression, which can be very close and carefully hiding. And the source of aggression is an unfulfilled desire or fear.
If desires are not realized, suppressed, then aggression can gradually be replaced by sadness. And the more repressed desires, the more energetic they are, the more sadness, sadness becomes the background of life. Therefore, during further work, it is necessary to identify fears and unsatisfied desires that gave rise to aggression and sadness, recognize true and false goals, remember past unlived emotions and live them, coordinate the will of various egregors (desires and aggression can be induced), work with the buddhic level, values, to remove superfluous layers, fettering frames, obsolete stereotypes and attitudes.
- Learn to directly say what you want, ask for what you need, do not be shy (if it is not possible to talk with a person, then tell him directly about it, and not wait until he talks enough or you explode).
- Develop ways of behavior in a situation leading to aggression (you can go to an urgent meeting or leave the office for a short time for any reason, reduce the number of appearances in an aggressive environment).
- Work on your mental interpretation, as depending on how the event is evaluated, corresponding emotions arise. Many emotional reactions of a person to events are of the same type, have a small number of possible interpretations, and can be dictated by conclusions that were made on the basis of traumatic events in the past (for example, a person believes that if a compliment is said, then it is always flattery).
- Learn to track and negate negative astral-mental meditations, when, in response to an event, a negative loop is formed from thoughts and emotions that reinforce each other, increase momentum, wind up a person and lead to an inadequate state.
- To indicate to people their boundaries and the consequences of their violation (ask your husband to put socks in a certain place, otherwise he will cook his own dinner).
- Realize your true desires (see the article " Fulfillment of desires").