Leonid Andreev. "Judas Iscariot

“Judas Iscariot” by Leonid Andreev is one of the greatest works of Russian and world literature. Only they forgot about him. It’s as if they were lost, dropped somewhere when they were compiling the books. Is this a coincidence? No, not by chance.

Imagine for a second that Judas of Kerioth is a good person. And not just good, but moreover, the first among the best, the best, the closest to Christ.

Think about it... It's scary. It’s scary because it’s not clear who we are if he’s good?!

Judas Iscariot is a stunning existential drama that awakens a pure heart.

I

Jesus Christ was warned many times that Judas of Kerioth was a man of very bad reputation and should be avoided. Some of the disciples who were in Judea knew him well themselves, others heard a lot about him from people, and there was no one who could say a good word about him. And if the good ones reproached him, saying that Judas was selfish, treacherous, prone to pretense and lies, then the bad ones, who were asked about Judas, reviled him with the most cruel words. “He constantly quarrels with us,” they said, spitting, “he thinks of something of his own and gets into the house quietly, like a scorpion, and comes out of it noisily. And thieves have friends, and robbers have comrades, and liars have wives to whom they tell the truth, and Judas laughs at thieves, as well as at honest ones, although he himself steals skillfully, and his appearance is uglier than all the inhabitants of Judea. No, he is not ours, this red-haired Judas from Kariot,” said the bad ones, surprising the good people, for whom there was not much difference between him and all the other vicious people of Judea.

They further said that Judas abandoned his wife a long time ago, and she lives unhappy and hungry, unsuccessfully trying to squeeze out bread for food from the three stones that make up Judas’s estate. He himself has been wandering around senselessly among the people for many years and has even reached one sea and another sea, which is even further away, and everywhere he lies, makes faces, vigilantly looks out for something with his thief’s eye, and suddenly leaves suddenly, leaving behind troubles and quarrel - curious, crafty and evil, like a one-eyed demon. He had no children, and this once again said that Judas was a bad person and God did not want offspring from Judas.

None of the disciples noticed when this red-haired and ugly Jew first appeared near Christ, but for a long time he had been relentlessly following their path, interfering in conversations, providing small services, bowing, smiling and ingratiating himself. And then it became completely familiar, deceiving tired vision, then it suddenly caught the eyes and ears, irritating them, like something unprecedentedly ugly, deceitful and disgusting. Then they drove him away with harsh words, and for a short time he disappeared somewhere along the road - and then he quietly appeared again, helpful, flattering and cunning, like a one-eyed demon. And there was no doubt for some of the disciples that in his desire to get closer to Jesus there was hidden some secret intention, there was an evil and insidious calculation.

But Jesus did not listen to their advice, their prophetic voice did not touch his ears. With that spirit of bright contradiction that irresistibly attracted him to the rejected and unloved, he decisively accepted Judas and included him in the circle of the chosen. The disciples were worried and grumbled restrainedly, but he sat quietly, facing the setting sun, and listened thoughtfully, maybe to them, or maybe to something else. There had been no wind for ten days, and the same transparent air, attentive and sensitive, remained the same, without moving or changing. And it seemed as if he had preserved in his transparent depths everything that was shouted and sung these days by people, animals and birds - tears, crying and a cheerful song. prayer and curses, and these glassy, frozen voices made him so heavy, anxious, thickly saturated with invisible life. And once again the sun set. It rolled down heavily like a flaming ball, lighting up the sky, and everything on earth that was turned towards it: the dark face of Jesus, the walls of houses and the leaves of trees - everything obediently reflected that distant and terribly thoughtful light. The white wall was no longer white now, and the red city on the red mountain did not remain white.

And then Judas came.

II

Gradually they got used to Judas and stopped noticing his ugliness. Jesus entrusted him with the money chest, and at the same time all household worries fell on him: he bought the necessary food and clothing, distributed alms, and during his wanderings he looked for a place to stop and spend the night. He did all this very skillfully, so that he soon earned the favor of some students who saw his efforts. Judas lied constantly, but they got used to it, because they did not see bad deeds behind the lie, and it gave special interest to Judas’ conversation and his stories and made life look like a funny and sometimes scary fairy tale.

According to Judas' stories, it seemed as if he knew all people, and every person he knew had committed some bad act or even a crime in his life. Good people, in his opinion, are those who know how to hide their deeds and thoughts, but if such a person is hugged, caressed and questioned well, then all untruths, abominations and lies will flow from him, like pus from a punctured wound. He readily admitted that sometimes he himself lies, but he assured with an oath that others lie even more, and if there is anyone in the world who is deceived, it is he. Judas. It happened that some people deceived him many times in this way and that. Thus, a certain treasure keeper of a rich nobleman once confessed to him that for ten years he had been constantly wanting to steal the property entrusted to him, but he could not, because he was afraid of the nobleman and his conscience. And Judas believed him, but he suddenly stole and deceived Judas. But even here Judas believed him, and he suddenly returned the stolen goods to the nobleman and again deceived Judas. And everyone deceives him, even animals: when he caresses the dog, she bites his fingers, and when he hits her with a stick, she licks his feet and looks into his eyes like a daughter. He killed this dog, buried it deep and even buried it with a large stone, but who knows? Perhaps because he killed her, she became even more alive and now does not lie in a hole, but runs happily with other dogs.

Everyone laughed merrily at Judas’ story, and he himself smiled pleasantly, narrowing his lively and mocking eye, and then, with the same smile, he admitted that he had lied a little: he did not kill that dog. But he will certainly find her and will certainly kill her, because he does not want to be deceived. And these words of Judas made them laugh even more.

But sometimes in his stories he crossed the boundaries of the probable and plausible and attributed to people such inclinations that even an animal does not have, accused them of crimes that never happened and never will happen. And since he named the names of the most respectable people, some were indignant at the slander, while others jokingly asked:

- Well, what about your father and mother? Judas, weren't they good people?

The story “Judas Iscariot,” a summary of which is presented in this article, is based on a biblical story. Nevertheless, Maxim Gorky, even before the publication of the work, said that it would be understood by few and would cause a lot of noise.

Leonid Andreev

This is a rather controversial author. Andreev’s work was unknown to readers in Soviet times. Before we begin to present a brief summary of “Judas Iscariot” - a story that evokes both admiration and indignation - let us recall the main and most interesting facts from the writer’s biography.

Leonid Nikolaevich Andreev was an extraordinary and very emotional person. While a law student, he began to abuse alcohol. For some time, the only source of income for Andreev was painting portraits to order: he was not only a writer, but also an artist.

In 1894, Andreev tried to commit suicide. An unsuccessful shot led to the development of heart disease. For five years, Leonid Andreev was engaged in advocacy. His literary fame came to him in 1901. But even then he evoked conflicting feelings among readers and critics. Leonid Andreev greeted the 1905 revolution with joy, but soon became disillusioned with it. After the separation of Finland, he ended up in exile. The writer died abroad in 1919 from heart disease.

The history of the creation of the story “Judas Iscariot”

The work was published in 1907. The plot ideas came to the writer during his stay in Switzerland. In May 1906, Leonid Andreev told one of his colleagues that he was going to write a book on the psychology of betrayal. He managed to realize his plan in Capri, where he went after the death of his wife.

“Judas Iscariot,” a summary of which is presented below, was written within two weeks. The author demonstrated the first edition to his friend Maxim Gorky. He drew the author's attention to historical and factual errors. Andreev re-read the New Testament more than once and made changes to the story. During the writer’s lifetime, the story “Judas Iscariot” was translated into English, German, French and other languages.

A man of ill repute

None of the apostles noticed the appearance of Judas. How did he manage to gain the trust of the Teacher? Jesus Christ was warned many times that he was a man of very ill repute. You should beware of him. Judas was condemned not only by “right” people, but also by scoundrels. He was the worst of the worst. When the disciples asked Judas what motivated him to do terrible things, he answered that every person is a sinner. What he said was consistent with the words of Jesus. No one has the right to judge another.

This is the philosophical problem of the story “Judas Iscariot”. The author, of course, did not make his hero positive. But he put the traitor on a par with the disciples of Jesus Christ. Andreev’s idea could not but cause a resonance in society.

The disciples of Christ asked Judas more than once about who his father was. He answered that he didn’t know, maybe the devil, a rooster, a goat. How can he know everyone with whom his mother shared a bed? Such answers shocked the apostles. Judas insulted his parents, which meant he was doomed to death.

One day a crowd attacks Christ and his disciples. They are accused of stealing a kid. But a man who will very soon betray his teacher rushes at the crowd with the words that the teacher is not at all possessed by a demon, he just loves money just like everyone else. Jesus leaves the village in anger. His disciples follow him, cursing Judas. But this small, disgusting man, worthy only of contempt, wanted to save them...

Theft

Christ trusts Judas to keep his savings. But he is hiding several coins, which the students, of course, soon find out about. But Jesus does not condemn the unlucky disciple. After all, the apostles should not count the coins that his brother appropriated. Their reproaches only offend him. This evening Judas Iscariot is very cheerful. Using his example, the Apostle John understood what love for one's neighbor is.

Thirty pieces of silver

During the last days of his life, Jesus surrounds with affection the one who betrays him. Judas is helpful with his disciples - nothing should interfere with his plan. An event will soon take place, thanks to which his name will forever remain in the memory of people. It will be called almost as often as the name of Jesus.

After the execution

When analyzing Andreev’s story “Judas Iscariot,” it is worth paying special attention to the ending of the work. The apostles suddenly appear before readers as cowardly and cowardly people. After the execution, Judas addresses them with a sermon. Why didn't they save Christ? Why didn’t they attack the guards in order to rescue the Teacher?

Judas will forever remain in people's memory as a traitor. And those who were silent when Jesus was crucified will be honored. After all, they carry the Word of Christ across the earth. This is the summary of Judas Iscariot. In order to make an artistic analysis of the work, you should still read the story in its entirety.

The meaning of the story "Judas Iscariot"

Why did the author depict a negative biblical character from such an unusual perspective? “Judas Iscariot” by Leonid Nikolaevich Andreev is, according to many critics, one of the greatest works of Russian classics. The story makes the reader think, first of all, about what true love, true faith and fear of death are. The author seems to be asking what is hidden behind faith, is there a lot of true love in it?

The image of Judas in the story “Judas Iscariot”

The hero of Andreev's book is a traitor. Judas sold Christ for 30 pieces of silver. He is the worst person who has ever lived on our planet. Is it possible to feel compassion for him? Of course not. The writer seems to be tempting the reader.

But it is worth remembering that Andreev’s story is by no means a theological work. The book has nothing to do with the church or faith. The author simply invited readers to look at a well-known plot from a different, unusual side.

A person is mistaken in believing that he can always accurately determine the motives of another’s behavior. Judas betrays Christ, which means he is a bad person. This suggests that he does not believe in the Messiah. The apostles hand over the teacher to the Romans and Pharisees to be torn to pieces. And they do this because they believe in their teacher. Jesus will rise again and people will believe in the Savior. Andreev suggested looking at the actions of both Judas and the faithful disciples of Christ differently.

Judas madly loves Christ. However, he feels that those around him do not value Jesus enough. And he provokes the Jews: he betrays his beloved teacher in order to test the strength of the people's love for him. Judas will be severely disappointed: the disciples have fled, and the people are demanding that Jesus be killed. Even Pilate’s words that he did not find Christ guilty were not heard by anyone. The crowd is out for blood.

This book caused outrage among believers. Not surprising. The apostles did not snatch Christ from the clutches of the guards not because they believed in him, but because they were cowardly - this is, perhaps, the main idea of Andreev’s story. After the execution, Judas turns to his disciples with reproaches, and at this moment he is not at all vile. It seems that there is truth in his words.

Judas took upon himself a heavy cross. He became a traitor, thereby forcing people to wake up. Jesus said that you cannot kill a guilty person. But wasn't his execution a violation of this postulate? Andreev puts words into the mouth of Judas, his hero, that he might have wanted to utter himself. Didn't Christ go to his death with the silent consent of his disciples? Judas asks the apostles how they could allow his death. They have nothing to answer. They are silent in confusion.

They further said that Judas abandoned his wife a long time ago, and she lives unhappy and hungry, unsuccessfully trying to squeeze bread for food from the three stones that make up Judas’s estate. He himself has been wandering around senselessly among the people for many years and has even reached one sea and another sea, which is even further away, and everywhere he lies, makes faces, vigilantly looks out for something with his thief's eye, and suddenly leaves suddenly, leaving behind troubles and quarrel - curious, crafty and evil, like a one-eyed demon. He had no children, and this once again said that Judas was a bad person and God did not want offspring from Judas.

None of the disciples noticed when this red-haired and ugly Jew first appeared near Christ, but for a long time he had been relentlessly following their path, interfering in conversations, providing small services, bowing, smiling and ingratiating himself. And then it became completely familiar, deceiving tired vision, then suddenly it caught the eyes and ears, irritating them, like something unprecedentedly ugly, deceitful and disgusting. Then they drove him away with harsh words, and for a short time he disappeared somewhere along the road - and then he quietly appeared again, helpful, flattering and cunning, like a one-eyed demon. And there was no doubt for some of the disciples that in his desire to get closer to Jesus there was hidden some secret intention, there was an evil and insidious calculation.

But Jesus did not listen to their advice, their prophetic voice did not touch his ears. With that spirit of bright contradiction that irresistibly attracted him to the rejected and unloved, he decisively accepted Judas and included him in the circle of the chosen. The disciples were worried and grumbled restrainedly, but he sat quietly, facing the setting sun, and listened thoughtfully, maybe to them, or maybe to something else. There had been no wind for ten days, and the same transparent air, attentive and sensitive, remained the same, without moving or changing. And it seemed as if he had preserved in his transparent depths everything that was shouted and sung these days by people, animals and birds - tears, crying and a cheerful song, prayer and curses, and from these glassy, frozen voices he was so heavy , alarming, densely saturated with invisible life. And once again the sun set. It rolled down heavily like a flaming ball, lighting up the sky, and everything on earth that was turned towards it: the dark face of Jesus, the walls of houses and the leaves of trees - everything obediently reflected that distant and terribly thoughtful light. The white wall was no longer white now, and the red city on the red mountain did not remain white.

And then Judas came.

He came, bowing low, arching his back, carefully and timidly stretching his ugly, lumpy head forward - just as those who knew him imagined him to be. He was thin, of good height, almost the same as Jesus, who stooped slightly from the habit of thinking while walking and this made him seem shorter, and he was quite strong in strength, apparently, but for some reason he pretended to be frail and sickly and had a voice changeable: sometimes courageous and strong, sometimes loud, like an old woman scolding her husband, annoyingly thin and unpleasant to hear, and often I wanted to pull the words of Judas out of my ears, like rotten, rough splinters. Short red hair did not hide the strange and unusual shape of his skull: as if cut from the back of the head with a double blow of a sword and put back together again, it was clearly divided into four parts and inspired distrust, even anxiety: behind such a skull there cannot be silence and harmony, behind such a skull there is always the sound of bloody and merciless battles can be heard. Judas’s face was also double: one side of it, with a black, sharply looking eye, was alive, mobile, willingly gathering into numerous crooked wrinkles. On the other there were no wrinkles, and it was deathly smooth, flat and frozen, and although it was equal in size to the first, it seemed huge from the wide open blind eye. Covered with a whitish turbidity, not closing either at night or during the day, he met both light and darkness equally, but whether because he had a living and cunning comrade next to him, one could not believe in his complete blindness. When, in a fit of timidity or excitement, Judas closed his living eye and shook his head, this one swayed along with the movements of his head and looked silently. Even people completely devoid of insight clearly understood, looking at Iscariot, that such a person could not bring good, but Jesus brought him closer and even sat Judas next to him.

John, his beloved student, moved away with disgust, and everyone else, loving their teacher, looked down disapprovingly. And Judas sat down - and, moving his head to the right and to the left, in a thin voice began to complain about illness, that his chest hurts at night, that, when climbing mountains, he suffocates, and standing at the edge of an abyss, he feels dizzy and can barely hold on from a stupid desire to throw himself down. And he shamelessly invented many other things, as if not understanding that illnesses do not come to a person by chance, but are born from the discrepancy between his actions and the precepts of the Eternal. This Judas from Kariot rubbed his chest with his wide palm and even coughed feignedly in the general silence and downcast gazes.

John, without looking at the teacher, quietly asked Peter Simonov, his friend:

“Aren’t you tired of this lie?” I can't stand her any longer and I'll leave here.

Peter looked at Jesus, met his gaze and quickly stood up.

- Wait! - he told his friend. He looked at Jesus again, quickly, like a stone torn from a mountain, moved towards Judas Iscariot and loudly said to him with broad and clear friendliness: “Here you are with us, Judas.”

He affectionately patted his hand on his bent back and, without looking at the teacher, but feeling his gaze on himself, decisively added in his loud voice, which crowded out all objections, like water crowds out air:

“It’s okay that you have such a nasty face: we also get caught in our nets who are not so ugly, and when it comes to food, they are the most delicious.” And it is not for us, the fishermen of our Lord, to throw away our catch just because the fish is prickly and one-eyed. I once saw an octopus in Tyre, caught by the local fishermen, and I was so scared that I wanted to run away. And they laughed at me, a fisherman from Tiberias, and gave me some to eat, and I asked for more, because it was very tasty. Remember, teacher, I told you about this, and you laughed too. And you, Judas, look like an octopus - only with one half.

And he laughed loudly, pleased with his joke. When Peter said something, his words sounded so firmly, as if he was nailing them down. When Peter moved or did something, he made a far-audible noise and evoked a response from the most deaf things: the stone floor hummed under his feet, the doors trembled and slammed, and the very air shuddered and made noise timidly. In the gorges of the mountains, his voice awakened an angry echo, and in the mornings on the lake, when they were fishing, he rolled round and round on the sleepy and shining water and made the first timid rays of the sun smile. And, probably, they loved Peter for this: on all the other faces the shadow of the night still lay, and his large head, and wide naked chest, and freely thrown arms were already burning in the glow of the sunrise.

Peter's words, apparently approved by the teacher, dispelled the painful state of those gathered. But some, who had also been by the sea and seen the octopus, were confused by its monstrous image, which Peter so frivolously dedicated to his new student. They remembered: huge eyes, dozens of greedy tentacles, feigned calm - and time! – hugged, doused, crushed and sucked, without even blinking his huge eyes. What is this? But Jesus is silent, Jesus smiles and looks from under his brows with friendly mockery at Peter, who continues to talk passionately about the octopus - and one after another the embarrassed disciples approached Judas, spoke kindly, but walked away quickly and awkwardly.

And only John Zebedee remained stubbornly silent and Thomas, apparently, did not dare to say anything, pondering what had happened. He carefully examined Christ and Judas, who were sitting next to each other, and this strange proximity of divine beauty and monstrous ugliness, a man with a gentle gaze and an octopus with huge, motionless, dull, greedy eyes oppressed his mind, like an unsolvable riddle. He tensely wrinkled his straight, smooth forehead, squinted his eyes, thinking that he would see better this way, but all he achieved was that Judas really seemed to have eight restlessly moving legs. But this was not true. Foma understood this and again looked stubbornly.

And Judas gradually dared: he straightened his arms, bent at the elbows, loosened the muscles that kept his jaw tense, and carefully began to expose his lumpy head to the light. She had been in everyone’s sight before, but it seemed to Judas that she was deeply and impenetrably hidden from view by some invisible, but thick and cunning veil. And now, as if he was crawling out of a hole, he felt his strange skull in the light, then his eyes - he stopped - he decisively opened his whole face. Nothing happened. Peter went somewhere, Jesus sat thoughtfully, leaning his head on his hand, and quietly shaking his tanned leg, the disciples talked among themselves, and only Thomas carefully and seriously looked at him like a conscientious tailor taking measurements. Judas smiled - Thomas did not return the smile, but apparently took it into account, like everything else, and continued to look at it. But something unpleasant was disturbing the left side of Judas’s face; he looked back: John was looking at him from a dark corner with cold and beautiful eyes, handsome, pure, not having a single spot on his snow-white conscience. And, walking like everyone else, but feeling as if he was dragging along the ground like a punished dog, Judas approached him and said:

- Why are you silent, John? Your words are like golden apples in transparent silver vessels, give one of them to Judas, who is so poor.

John looked intently into the motionless, wide-open eye and was silent. And he saw how Judas crawled away, hesitated hesitantly and disappeared into the dark depths of the open door.

Since the full moon rose, many went for a walk. Jesus also went for a walk, and from the low roof where Judas had made his bed, he saw those leaving. In the moonlight, each white figure seemed light and unhurried and did not walk, but as if glided in front of its black shadow, and suddenly the man disappeared into something black, and then his voice was heard. When people reappeared under the moon, they seemed silent - like white walls, like black shadows, like the entire transparent, hazy night. Almost everyone was already asleep when Judas heard the quiet voice of the returning Christ. And everything became quiet in the house and around it. A rooster crowed, resentfully and loudly, as if during the day, a donkey, who had woken up somewhere, crowed and reluctantly fell silent intermittently. But Judas still did not sleep and listened, hiding. The moon illuminated half of his face and, as in a frozen lake, was reflected strangely in his huge open eye.

Suddenly he remembered something and hastily coughed, rubbing his hairy, healthy chest with his palm: perhaps someone was still awake and listening to what Judas was thinking.

II

According to Judas' stories, it seemed as if he knew all people, and every person he knew had committed some bad act or even a crime in his life. Good people, in his opinion, are those who know how to hide their deeds and thoughts, but if such a person is hugged, caressed and questioned well, then all untruths, abominations and lies will flow from him, like pus from a punctured wound. He readily admitted that sometimes he himself lies, but he assured with an oath that others lie even more, and if there is anyone deceived in the world, it is he, Judas. It happened that some people deceived him many times in this way and that. Thus, a certain treasure keeper of a rich nobleman once confessed to him that for ten years he had been constantly wanting to steal the property entrusted to him, but he could not, because he was afraid of the nobleman and his conscience. And Judas believed him, but he suddenly stole and deceived Judas. But even here Judas believed him, and he suddenly returned the stolen goods to the nobleman and again deceived Judas. And everyone deceives him, even animals: when he caresses the dog, she bites his fingers, and when he hits her with a stick, she licks his feet and looks into his eyes like a daughter. He killed this dog, buried it deep and even buried it with a large stone, but who knows? Perhaps because he killed her, she became even more alive and now does not lie in a hole, but runs happily with other dogs.

- Well, what about your father and mother, Judas, weren’t they good people?

Judas narrowed his eyes, smiled and spread his arms. And along with the shaking of his head, his frozen, wide-open eye swayed and looked silently.

-Who was my father? Maybe the man who beat me with a rod, or maybe the devil, the goat, or the rooster. How can Judas know everyone with whom his mother shared a bed? Judas has many fathers; who are you talking about?

But here everyone was indignant, since they greatly revered their parents, and Matthew, very well read in the Scriptures, sternly spoke in the words of Solomon:

“Whoever curses his father and mother, his lamp will go out in the midst of deep darkness.”

John Zebedee arrogantly said:

- Well, what about us? What bad thing can you say about us, Judas of Kariot?

But he waved his hands in feigned fear, hunched over and whined, like a beggar vainly begging for alms from a passerby:

- Oh, they are tempting poor Judas! They are laughing at Judas, they want to deceive poor, gullible Judas!

And while one side of his face writhed in buffoonish grimaces, the other swayed seriously and sternly, and his never-closing eye looked wide. Peter Simonov laughed the loudest and loudest at Iscariot’s jokes. But one day it happened that he suddenly frowned, became silent and sad, and hastily took Judas aside, dragging him by the sleeve.

- And Jesus? What do you think about Jesus? – He leaned over and asked in a loud whisper. - Just don't joke, please.

Judas looked at him angrily:

- And what do you think?

Peter whispered fearfully and joyfully:

“I think he is the son of the living God.”

- Why are you asking? What can Judas, whose father is a goat, tell you?

- But do you love him? It's like you don't love anyone, Judas.

With the same strange malice, Iscariot said abruptly and sharply:

After this conversation, Peter loudly called Judas his octopus friend for two days, and he clumsily and still angrily tried to slip away from him somewhere into a dark corner and sat there gloomily, his white, unclosed eye brightening.

Only Thomas listened to Judas quite seriously: he did not understand jokes, pretense and lies, playing with words and thoughts, and looked for the fundamental and positive in everything. And he often interrupted all Iscariot’s stories about bad people and actions with short businesslike remarks:

- This needs to be proven. Have you heard this yourself? Who else was there besides you? What's his name?

Judas became irritated and shrilly shouted that he had seen and heard it all himself, but stubborn Thomas continued to interrogate unobtrusively and calmly, until Judas admitted that he had lied, or invented a new plausible lie, which he thought about for a long time. And, having found a mistake, he immediately came and indifferently caught the liar. In general, Judas aroused strong curiosity in him, and this created something like a friendship between them, full of shouting, laughter and curses on the one hand, and calm, persistent questions on the other. At times Judas felt an unbearable disgust for his strange friend and, piercing him with a sharp gaze, said irritably, almost with a plea:

- But what do you want? I told you everything, everything.

“I want you to prove how a goat can be your father?” - Foma interrogated with indifferent persistence and waited for an answer.

It happened that after one of these questions Judas suddenly fell silent and in surprise examined him from head to toe with his eye: he saw a long, straight figure, a gray face, straight transparent light eyes, two thick folds running from his nose and disappearing into a tight, evenly trimmed hair. beard, and said convincingly:

- How stupid you are, Foma! What do you see in your dream: a tree, a wall, a donkey?

And Foma was somehow strangely embarrassed and did not object. And at night, when Judas was already covering his lively and restless eye for sleep, he suddenly said loudly from his bed - they were both now sleeping together on the roof:

-You're wrong, Judas. I have very bad dreams. What do you think: should a person also be responsible for his dreams?

- Does anyone else see dreams, and not himself?

Foma sighed quietly and thought. And Judas smiled contemptuously, tightly closed his thief's eye and calmly surrendered to his rebellious dreams, monstrous dreams, insane visions that tore his lumpy skull to pieces.

When, during Jesus’ wanderings through Judea, travelers approached some village, Iscariot told bad things about its inhabitants and foreshadowed trouble. But it almost always happened that the people about whom he spoke ill greeted Christ and his friends with joy, surrounded them with attention and love and became believers, and Judas’s money box became so full that it was difficult to carry it. And then they laughed at his mistake, and he meekly threw up his hands and said:

- So! So! Judas thought that they were bad, but they were good: they believed quickly and gave money. Again, it means they deceived Judas, poor, gullible Judas from Kariot!

But one day, having already moved far from the village that greeted them cordially, Thomas and Judas argued heatedly and returned back to resolve the dispute. Only the next day they caught up with Jesus and his disciples, and Thomas looked embarrassed and sad, and Judas looked so proudly, as if he expected that now everyone would begin to congratulate and thank him. Approaching the teacher, Thomas decisively declared:

- Judas is right, Lord. These were evil and stupid people, and the seed of your words fell on the stone.

And he told what happened in the village. After Jesus and his disciples left, one old woman began to shout that her young white goat had been stolen from her, and accused those who had left of the theft. At first they argued with her, and when she stubbornly proved that there was no one else to steal like Jesus, many believed and even wanted to go in pursuit. And although they soon found the kid entangled in the bushes, they still decided that Jesus was a deceiver and, perhaps, even a thief.

- So that’s how it is! – Peter cried, flaring his nostrils. - Lord, do you want me to go back to these fools, and...

But Jesus, who had been silent all the time, looked at him sternly, and Peter fell silent and disappeared behind him, behind the backs of the others. And no one spoke about what had happened anymore, as if nothing had happened at all and as if Judas had been wrong. In vain he showed himself from all sides, trying to make his bifurcated, predatory face with a hooked nose appear modest; no one looked at him, and if anyone did, it was very unfriendly, even with contempt.

And from that same day, Jesus’ attitude towards him changed somehow strangely. And before, for some reason, it was the case that Judas never spoke directly to Jesus, and he never directly addressed him, but he often looked at him with gentle eyes, smiled at some of his jokes, and if he did not see him for a long time, he asked: where is Judas? And now he looked at him, as if not seeing him, although as before, and even more stubbornly than before, he looked for him with his eyes every time he began to speak to his disciples or to the people, but either he sat with his back to him and threw words over his head. his own towards Judas, or pretended not to notice him at all. And no matter what he said, even if it was one thing today and something completely different tomorrow, even if it was the same thing that Judas was thinking, it seemed, however, that he was always speaking against Judas. And for everyone he was a tender and beautiful flower, fragrant with the rose of Lebanon, but for Judas he left only sharp thorns - as if Judas had no heart, as if he had no eyes and nose and no better than everyone else, he understood the beauty of tender and immaculate petals.

Leonid Andreev
Judas Iscariot

I
Jesus Christ was warned many times that Judas of Kerioth was a man of very bad reputation and should be avoided. Some of the disciples who were in Judea knew him well themselves, others heard a lot about him from people, and there was no one who could say a good word about him. And if the good ones reproached him, saying that Judas was selfish, treacherous, prone to pretense and lies, then the bad ones, who were asked about Judas, reviled him with the most cruel words. “He constantly quarrels with us,” they said, spitting, “he thinks of something of his own and gets into the house quietly, like a scorpion, and comes out of it noisily. And thieves have friends, and robbers have comrades, and liars have wives to whom they tell the truth, and Judas laughs at thieves, as well as at honest ones, although he himself steals skillfully, and his appearance is uglier than all the inhabitants of Judea.
No, he is not ours, this red-haired Judas from Kariot,” said the bad ones, surprising the good people, for whom there was not much difference between him and all the other vicious people of Judea.
They further said that Judas abandoned his wife a long time ago, and she lives unhappy and hungry, unsuccessfully trying to squeeze bread for food from the three stones that make up Judas’s estate. He himself has been wandering around senselessly among the people for many years and has even reached one sea and another sea, which is even further away, and everywhere he lies, makes faces, vigilantly looks out for something with his thief's eye, and suddenly leaves suddenly, leaving behind troubles and quarrel - curious, crafty and evil, like a one-eyed demon. He had no children, and this once again said that Judas was a bad person and God did not want offspring from Judas.
None of the disciples noticed when this red-haired and ugly Jew first appeared near Christ, but for a long time he had been relentlessly following their path, interfering in conversations, providing small services, bowing, smiling and ingratiating himself. And then it became completely familiar, deceiving tired vision, then suddenly it caught the eyes and ears, irritating them, like something unprecedentedly ugly, deceitful and disgusting. Then they drove him away with stern words, and for a short time he disappeared somewhere along the road - and then quietly appeared again, helpful, flattering and cunning, like a one-eyed demon. And there was no doubt for some of the disciples that in his desire to get closer to Jesus there was hidden some secret intention, there was an evil and insidious calculation.
But Jesus did not listen to their advice, their prophetic voice did not touch his ears. With that spirit of bright contradiction that irresistibly attracted him to the rejected and unloved, he decisively accepted Judas and included him in the circle of the chosen. The disciples were worried and grumbled restrainedly, but he sat quietly, facing the setting sun, and listened thoughtfully, maybe to them, or maybe to something else. There had been no wind for ten days, and the same transparent air, attentive and sensitive, remained the same, without moving or changing. And it seemed as if he had preserved in his transparent depths everything that was shouted and sung these days by people, animals and birds - tears, crying and a cheerful song.
prayer and curses, and these glassy, frozen voices made him so heavy, anxious, thickly saturated with invisible life. And once again the sun set. It rolled down heavily like a flaming ball, lighting up the sky, and everything on earth that was turned towards it: the dark face of Jesus, the walls of houses and the leaves of trees - everything obediently reflected that distant and terribly thoughtful light. The white wall was no longer white now, and the red city on the red mountain did not remain white.
And then Judas came.
He came, bowing low, arching his back, carefully and timidly stretching his ugly, lumpy head forward - just the way those who knew him imagined him. He was thin, of good height, almost the same as Jesus, who stooped slightly from the habit of thinking while walking and this made him seem shorter, and he was quite strong in strength, apparently, but for some reason he pretended to be frail and sickly and had a voice changeable: sometimes courageous and strong, sometimes loud, like an old woman scolding her husband, annoyingly thin and unpleasant to hear, and often I wanted to pull the words of Judas out of my ears, like rotten, rough splinters. Short red hair did not hide the strange and unusual shape of his skull: as if cut from the back of the head with a double blow of a sword and put back together again, it was clearly divided into four parts and inspired distrust, even anxiety: behind such a skull there cannot be silence and harmony, behind such a skull there is always the sound of bloody and merciless battles can be heard. Judas’s face was also double: one side of it, with a black, sharply looking eye, was alive, mobile, willingly gathering into numerous crooked wrinkles.
On the other there were no wrinkles, and it was deathly smooth, flat and frozen, and although it was equal in size to the first, it seemed huge from the wide open blind eye. Covered with a whitish turbidity, not closing either at night or during the day, he met both light and darkness equally, but whether because he had a living and cunning comrade next to him, one could not believe in his complete blindness. When, in a fit of timidity or excitement, Judas closed his living eye and shook his head, this one swayed along with the movements of his head and looked silently. Even people completely devoid of insight clearly understood, looking at Iscariot, that such a person could not bring good, but Jesus brought him closer and even sat Judas next to him.
John, his beloved student, moved away with disgust, and everyone else, loving their teacher, looked down disapprovingly. And Judas sat down - and, moving his head to the right and left, in a thin voice began to complain about illness, that his chest hurts at night, that, when climbing mountains, he suffocates, and standing at the edge of an abyss, he feels dizzy and barely resists the stupid desire to throw himself down. And he shamelessly invented many other things, as if not understanding that illnesses do not come to a person by chance, but are born from the discrepancy between his actions and the precepts of the Eternal. This Judas from Kariot rubbed his chest with his wide palm and even coughed feignedly in the general silence and downcast gazes.
John, without looking at the teacher, quietly asked Pyotr Simonov, his friend: “Aren’t you tired of this lie?” I can't stand her any longer and I'll leave here.
Peter looked at Jesus, met his gaze and quickly stood up.
-- Wait! - he said to his friend. He looked at Jesus again, quickly, like a stone torn from a mountain, moved towards Judas Iscariot and loudly said to him with broad and clear friendliness: “Here you are with us, Judas.”
He affectionately patted his hand on his bent back and, without looking at the teacher, but feeling his gaze on himself, decisively added in his loud voice, which crowded out all objections, like water crowds out air: “It’s nothing that you have such a nasty face: in our You also come across nets that are not so ugly, but when eaten, they are the most delicious. And it’s not for us, our Lord’s fishermen, to throw away our catch just because the fish is prickly and one-eyed. I once saw an octopus in Tyre, caught by the local fishermen, and I was so scared that I wanted to run away. And they laughed at me, a fisherman from Tiberias, and gave me some to eat, and I asked for more, because it was very tasty. Remember, teacher, I told you about this, and you laughed too. And you. Judas looks like an octopus - only with one half.
And he laughed loudly, pleased with his joke. When Peter said something, his words sounded so firmly, as if he was nailing them down. When Peter moved or did something, he made a far-audible noise and evoked a response from the most deaf things: the stone floor hummed under his feet, the doors trembled and slammed, and the very air shuddered and made noise timidly. In the gorges of the mountains, his voice awakened an angry echo, and in the mornings on the lake, when they were fishing, he rolled round and round on the sleepy and shining water and made the first timid rays of the sun smile. And, probably, they loved Peter for this: on all the other faces the shadow of the night still lay, and his large head, and wide naked chest, and freely thrown arms were already burning in the glow of the sunrise.
Peter's words, apparently approved by the teacher, dispelled the painful state of those gathered. But some, who had also been by the sea and seen the octopus, were confused by its monstrous image, which Peter so frivolously dedicated to his new student. They remembered: huge eyes, dozens of greedy tentacles, feigned calmness - and time! - hugged, doused, crushed and sucked, without even blinking his huge eyes. What is this? But Jesus is silent, Jesus smiles and looks from under his brows with friendly mockery at Peter, who continues to talk passionately about the octopus - and one after another the embarrassed disciples approached Judas, spoke kindly, but walked away quickly and awkwardly.
And only John Zebedee remained stubbornly silent and Thomas, apparently, did not dare to say anything, pondering what had happened. He carefully examined Christ and Judas, who were sitting next to each other, and this strange proximity of divine beauty and monstrous ugliness, a man with a gentle gaze and an octopus with huge, motionless, dull, greedy eyes oppressed his mind, like an unsolvable riddle. He tensely wrinkled his straight, smooth forehead, squinted his eyes, thinking that he would see better this way, but all he achieved was that Judas really seemed to have eight restlessly moving legs. But this was not true.
Foma understood this and again looked stubbornly.
And Judas gradually dared: he straightened his arms, bent at the elbows, loosened the muscles that kept his jaw tense, and carefully began to expose his lumpy head to the light. She had been in everyone’s sight before, but it seemed to Judas that she was deeply and impenetrably hidden from view by some invisible, but thick and cunning veil. And now, as if he was crawling out of a hole, he felt his strange skull in the light, then his eyes - he stopped - he decisively opened his whole face. Nothing happened. Peter went somewhere, Jesus sat thoughtfully, leaning his head on his hand, and quietly shaking his tanned leg, the disciples talked among themselves, and only Thomas carefully and seriously looked at him like a conscientious tailor taking measurements. Judas smiled - Thomas did not return the smile, but apparently took it into account, like everything else, and continued to look at it. But something unpleasant was disturbing the left side of Judas’ face; he looked back: John was looking at him from a dark corner with cold and beautiful eyes, handsome, pure, not having a single spot on his snow-white conscience. And, walking like everyone else, but feeling as if he was dragging along the ground, like a punished dog. Judas approached him and said: “Why are you silent, John?” Your words are like golden apples in transparent silver vessels, give one of them to Judas, who is so poor.
John looked intently into the motionless, wide-open eye and was silent.
And he saw how Judas crawled away, hesitated hesitantly and disappeared into the dark depths of the open door.
Since the full moon rose, many went for a walk. Jesus also went for a walk, and from the low roof where Judas had made his bed, he saw those leaving. In the moonlight, each white figure seemed light and unhurried and did not walk, but as if glided in front of its black shadow, and suddenly the man disappeared into something black, and then his voice was heard. When people reappeared under the moon, they seemed silent - like white walls, like black shadows, like the whole transparent, hazy night. Almost everyone was already asleep when Judas heard the quiet voice of the returning Christ. And everything became quiet in the house and around it. A rooster crowed, resentfully and loudly, as if during the day, a donkey, who had woken up somewhere, crowed and reluctantly fell silent intermittently. But Judas still did not sleep and listened, hiding. The moon illuminated half of his face and, as in a frozen lake, was reflected strangely in his huge open eye.
Suddenly he remembered something and hastily coughed, rubbing his hairy, healthy chest with his palm: perhaps someone was still awake and listening to what Judas was thinking.
II
Gradually they got used to Judas and stopped noticing his ugliness. Jesus entrusted him with the money chest, and at the same time all household worries fell on him: he bought the necessary food and clothing, distributed alms, and during his wanderings he looked for a place to stop and spend the night. He did all this very skillfully, so that he soon earned the favor of some students who saw his efforts. Judas lied constantly, but they got used to it, because they did not see bad deeds behind the lie, and it gave special interest to Judas’ conversation and his stories and made life look like a funny and sometimes scary fairy tale.
According to Judas' stories, it seemed as if he knew all people, and every person he knew had committed some bad act or even a crime in his life. Good people, in his opinion, are those who know how to hide their deeds and thoughts, but if such a person is hugged, caressed and questioned well, then all untruths, abominations and lies will flow from him, like pus from a punctured wound. He readily admitted that sometimes he himself lies, but he assured with an oath that others lie even more, and if there is anyone in the world who is deceived, it is he. Judas.
It happened that some people deceived him many times in this way and that. Thus, a certain treasure keeper of a rich nobleman once confessed to him that for ten years he had been constantly wanting to steal the property entrusted to him, but he could not, because he was afraid of the nobleman and his conscience. And Judas believed him, but he suddenly stole and deceived Judas. But even here Judas believed him, and he suddenly returned the stolen goods to the nobleman and again deceived Judas. And everyone deceives him, even animals: when he caresses the dog, she bites his fingers, and when he hits her with a stick, she licks his feet and looks into his eyes like a daughter. He killed this dog, buried it deep and even buried it with a large stone, but who knows? Perhaps because he killed her, she became even more alive and now does not lie in a hole, but runs happily with other dogs.
Everyone laughed merrily at Judas’ story, and he himself smiled pleasantly, narrowing his lively and mocking eye, and then, with the same smile, he admitted that he had lied a little: he did not kill that dog. But he will certainly find her and will certainly kill her, because he does not want to be deceived. And these words of Judas made them laugh even more.
But sometimes in his stories he crossed the boundaries of the probable and plausible and attributed to people such inclinations that even an animal does not have, accused them of crimes that never happened and never will happen.
And since he named the names of the most respectable people, some were indignant at the slander, while others jokingly asked: “Well, what about your father and mother?” Judas, weren't they good people?
Judas narrowed his eyes, smiled and spread his arms. And along with the shaking of his head, his frozen, wide-open eye swayed and looked silently.
-Who was my father? Maybe the man who beat me with a rod, or maybe the devil, the goat, or the rooster. How can Judas know everyone with whom his mother shared a bed? Judas has many fathers, the one you are talking about?
But here everyone was indignant, since they greatly revered their parents, and Matthew, very well read in the Scriptures, sternly spoke in the words of Solomon: “Whoever curses his father and his mother, his lamp will go out in the midst of deep darkness.”
John Zebedee arrogantly threw out: “Well, what about us?” What bad thing can you say about us, Judas of Kariot?
But he waved his hands in feigned fear, hunched over and whined, like a beggar vainly begging for alms from a passerby: “Ah, they are tempting poor Judas!” They are laughing at Judas, they want to deceive poor, gullible Judas!
And while one side of his face writhed in buffoonish grimaces, the other swayed seriously and sternly, and his never-closing eye looked wide.
Peter Simonov laughed the loudest and loudest at Iscariot’s jokes. But one day it happened that he suddenly frowned, became silent and sad, and hastily took Judas aside, dragging him by the sleeve.
- And Jesus? What do you think about Jesus? - leaning over, he asked in a loud whisper. - Just don’t joke, I beg you.
Judas looked at him angrily: “What do you think?”
Peter whispered fearfully and joyfully: “I think that he is the son of the living God.”
- Why are you asking? What can Judas, whose father is a goat, tell you?
- But do you love him? It's like you don't love anyone, Judas.
With the same strange malice, Iscariot said abruptly and sharply: “I love you.”
After this conversation, Peter loudly called Judas his octopus friend for two days, and he clumsily and still angrily tried to slip away from him somewhere into a dark corner and sat there gloomily, his white, unclosed eye brightening.
Only Thomas listened to Judas quite seriously: he did not understand jokes, pretense and lies, playing with words and thoughts, and looked for the fundamental and positive in everything. And he often interrupted all Iscariot’s stories about bad people and actions with short businesslike remarks: “This needs to be proven.” Have you heard this yourself? Who else was there besides you? What's his name?
Judas became irritated and shrilly shouted that he had seen and heard it all himself, but stubborn Thomas continued to interrogate unobtrusively and calmly, until Judas admitted that he had lied, or invented a new plausible lie, which he thought about for a long time. And, having found a mistake, he immediately came and indifferently caught the liar. In general, Judas aroused strong curiosity in him, and this created something like a friendship between them, full of shouting, laughter and curses - on the one hand, and calm, persistent questions - on the other. At times Judas felt an unbearable disgust for his strange friend and, piercing him with a sharp gaze, said irritably, almost with a plea: “But what do you want?” I told you everything, everything.
“I want you to prove how a goat can be your father?” - Foma interrogated with indifferent persistence and waited for an answer.
It happened that after one of these questions Judas suddenly fell silent and in surprise examined him from head to toe with his eye: he saw a long, straight figure, a gray face, straight transparent light eyes, two thick folds running from his nose and disappearing into a tight, evenly trimmed hair. beard, and said convincingly: “How stupid you are, Thomas!” What do you see in your dream: a tree, a wall, a donkey?
And Foma was somehow strangely embarrassed and did not object. And at night, when Judas was already covering his lively and restless eye for sleep, he suddenly said loudly from his bed - they were both now sleeping together on the roof: - You are wrong, Judas. I have very bad dreams. What do you think: should a person also be responsible for his dreams?
“Does anyone else see dreams, and not himself?” Foma sighed quietly and thought. And Judas smiled contemptuously, tightly closed his thief's eye and calmly surrendered to his rebellious dreams, monstrous dreams, insane visions that tore his lumpy skull to pieces.
When, during Jesus’ wanderings through Judea, travelers approached some village, Iscariot told bad things about its inhabitants and foreshadowed trouble. But it almost always happened that the people about whom he spoke ill greeted Christ and his friends with joy, surrounded them with attention and love and became believers, and Judas’s money box became so full that it was difficult to carry it. And then they laughed at his mistake, and he meekly threw up his hands and said: “So!” So! Judas thought that they were bad, but they were good: they believed quickly and gave money. Again, it means they deceived Judas, poor, gullible Judas from Kariot!
But one day, having already moved far from the village that greeted them cordially, Thomas and Judas argued heatedly and returned back to resolve the dispute. Only the next day they caught up with Jesus and his disciples, and Thomas looked embarrassed and sad, and Judas looked so proudly, as if he expected that now everyone would begin to congratulate and thank him. Approaching the teacher, Thomas decisively declared: “Judas is right, Lord.” These were evil and stupid people, and the seed of your words fell on the stone.
And he told what happened in the village. After Jesus and his disciples left, one old woman began to shout that her young white goat had been stolen from her, and accused those who had left of the theft. At first they argued with her, and when she stubbornly proved that there was no one else to steal like Jesus, many believed and even wanted to go in pursuit. And although they soon found the kid entangled in the bushes, they still decided that Jesus was a deceiver and, perhaps, even a thief.
- So that’s how it is! - cried Peter, flaring his nostrils. - Lord, do you want me to go back to these fools, and...
But Jesus, who had been silent all the time, looked at him sternly, and Peter fell silent and disappeared behind him, behind the backs of the others. And no one spoke about what had happened anymore, as if nothing had happened at all and as if Judas had been wrong. In vain he showed himself from all sides, trying to make his bifurcated, predatory face with a hooked nose modest; no one looked at him, and if anyone did, it was very unfriendly, even with contempt.
And from that same day, Jesus’ attitude towards him changed somehow strangely. And before, for some reason, it was the case that Judas never spoke directly to Jesus, and he never directly addressed him, but he often looked at him with gentle eyes, smiled at some of his jokes, and if he did not see him for a long time, he asked: where is Judas? And now he looked at him, as if not seeing him, although as before, and even more persistently than before, he looked for him with his eyes every time he began to speak to his disciples or to the people, but either sat down with his back to him and over his head threw his words at Judas, or pretended not to notice him at all. And no matter what he said, even if it was one thing today and something completely different tomorrow, even if it was the same thing that Judas was thinking, it seemed, however, that he was always speaking against Judas. And for everyone he was a tender and beautiful flower, fragrant with the rose of Lebanon, but for Judas he left only sharp thorns - as if Judas had no heart, as if he had no eyes and nose and no better than everyone else, he understood the beauty of tender and immaculate petals.
- Foma! Do you love the yellow Lebanese rose, which has a dark face and eyes like a chamois? - he asked his friend one day, and he answered indifferently: - Rose? Yes, I like its smell. But I have never heard of roses having dark faces and eyes like chamois.
-- How? Don’t you also know that the multi-armed cactus that tore your new clothes yesterday has only one red flower and only one eye?
But Foma didn’t know this either, although yesterday the cactus really grabbed his clothes and tore them into pitiful shreds. He knew nothing, this Thomas, although he asked about everything, and looked so straight with his transparent and clear eyes, through which, as through Phoenician glass, one could see the wall behind him and the dejected donkey tied to it.
Some time later, another incident occurred in which Judas again turned out to be right. In one Jewish village, which he did not praise so much that he even advised to bypass it, Christ was received very hostilely, and after preaching him and denouncing the hypocrites, they became furious and wanted to stone him and his disciples. There were many enemies, and, undoubtedly, they would have been able to carry out their destructive intentions if not for Judas of Karioth.
Seized with insane fear for Jesus, as if already seeing drops of blood on his white shirt. Judas fiercely and blindly rushed at the crowd, threatened, shouted, begged and lied, and thus gave time and opportunity for Jesus and the disciples to leave.
Amazingly agile, as if he was running on ten legs, funny and scary in his rage and pleas, he rushed madly in front of the crowd and charmed them with some strange power. He shouted that he was not at all possessed by the demon of Nazareth, that he was just a deceiver, a thief who loved money, like all his disciples, like Judas himself - he shook the money box, grimaced and begged, crouching to the ground. And gradually the anger of the crowd turned into laughter and disgust, and the hands raised with stones dropped.
“These people are unworthy to die at the hands of an honest man,” said some, while others thoughtfully followed the rapidly retreating Judas with their eyes.
And again Judas expected congratulations, praise and gratitude, and showed off his tattered clothes, and lied that they beat him - but this time he was incomprehensibly deceived. The angry Jesus walked with long steps and was silent, and even John and Peter did not dare to approach him, and everyone who caught the eye of Judas in tattered clothes, with his happily excited, but still a little frightened face, drove him away from them with short and with angry exclamations. As if he didn’t save them all, as if he didn’t save their teacher, whom they love so much.
- Do you want to see fools? - he said to Foma, who was walking thoughtfully behind. - Look: here they are walking along the road, in a group, like a herd of sheep, and raising dust. And you, smart Thomas, trail behind, and I, noble, beautiful Judas, trail behind, like a dirty slave who has no place next to his master.
- Why do you call yourself beautiful? - Foma was surprised.
“Because I am beautiful,” Judas answered with conviction and told, adding a lot, how he deceived the enemies of Jesus and laughed at them and their stupid stones.
- But you lied! - said Thomas.
“Well, yes, I lied,” Iscariot agreed calmly. “I gave them what they asked for, and they returned what I needed.” And what is a lie, my smart Thomas? Wouldn't the death of Jesus be a greater lie?
-You did wrong. Now I believe that your father is the devil. It was he who taught you, Judas.
Iscariot's face turned white and suddenly somehow quickly moved towards Thomas - as if a white cloud had found and blocked the road and Jesus. With a soft movement, Judas just as quickly pressed him to himself, pressed him tightly, paralyzing his movements, and whispered in his ear: “So the devil taught me?” Yes, yes, Thomas. Did I save Jesus? So the devil loves Jesus, so the devil really needs Jesus? Yes, yes, Thomas.
But my father is not the devil, but a goat. Maybe the goat needs Jesus too? Heh? You don't need it, do you? Is it really not necessary?
Angry and slightly frightened, Thomas with difficulty escaped from Judas’ sticky embrace and quickly walked forward, but soon slowed down, trying to understand what had happened.
And Judas quietly trudged behind and gradually fell behind. In the distance, the people walking mixed up in a motley bunch, and it was impossible to see which of these small figures was Jesus. So little Foma turned into a gray dot - and suddenly everyone disappeared around the bend. Looking around, Judas left the road and descended with huge leaps into the depths of the rocky ravine. His fast and impetuous running caused his dress to swell and his arms to fly upward, as if to fly. Here on the cliff he slipped and quickly rolled down in a gray lump, scraping against the stones, jumped up and angrily shook his fist at the mountain: “You’re still damned!”
And, suddenly replacing the speed of his movements with gloomy and concentrated slowness, he chose a place near a large stone and sat down leisurely. He turned around, as if looking for a comfortable position, put his hands, palm to palm, on the gray stone and leaned his head heavily against them. And so he sat for an hour or two, not moving and deceiving the birds, motionless and gray, like the gray stone itself. And in front of him, and behind him, and on all sides, the walls of the ravine rose, cutting off the edges of the blue sky with a sharp line, and everywhere, digging into the ground, huge gray stones rose - as if a stone rain had once passed here and its heavy stones froze in endless thought. drops. And this wild desert ravine looked like an overturned, severed skull, and every stone in it was like a frozen thought, and there were many of them, and they all thought - hard, boundless, stubbornly.
Here the deceived scorpion hobbled amicably near Judas on his shaky legs. Judas looked at him, without taking his head away from the stone, and again his eyes fixed motionless on something, both motionless, both covered with a strange whitish haze, both as if blind and terribly sighted. Now, from the ground, from the stones, from the crevices, the calm darkness of the night began to rise, enveloped the motionless Judas and quickly crawled upward - towards the bright, pale sky.
Night came with its thoughts and dreams.
That night Judas did not return to spend the night, and the disciples, torn from their thoughts by worries about food and drink, grumbled at his negligence.
III
One day, around noon, Jesus and his disciples were passing along a rocky and mountainous road, devoid of shade, and since they had already been on the road for more than five hours, Jesus began to complain of fatigue. The disciples stopped, and Peter and his friend John spread the cloaks of theirs and the other disciples on the ground, and strengthened them on top between two high stones, and thus made it like a tent for Jesus. And he lay down in the tent, resting from the heat of the sun, while they entertained him with cheerful speeches and jokes. But, seeing that speeches tired him, being themselves little sensitive to fatigue and heat, they retired to some distance and indulged in various activities. Some along the mountainside looked for edible roots between the stones and, having found them, brought them to Jesus; some, climbing higher and higher, thoughtfully searched for the boundaries of the blue distance and, not finding them, climbed to new pointed stones. John found a beautiful, blue lizard between the stones and in his tender palms, quietly laughing, brought it to Jesus, and the lizard looked into his eyes with its bulging, mysterious eyes, and then quickly slid its cold body along his warm hand and quickly took away its tender , trembling tail.
Peter, who did not like quiet pleasures, and Philip with him began to tear off large stones from the mountain and let them down, competing in strength. And, attracted by their loud laughter, the rest gradually gathered around them and took part in the game. Straining, they tore an old, overgrown stone from the ground, lifted it high with both hands and sent it down the slope. Heavy, he struck briefly and bluntly and thought for a moment, then hesitantly made the first leap - and with each touch to the ground, taking from it speed and strength, he became light, ferocious, all-crushing. He no longer jumped, but flew with bared teeth, and the air, whistling, passed his blunt, round carcass. Here is the edge - with a smooth final movement the stone soared upward and calmly, in heavy thoughtfulness, flew roundly down to the bottom of an invisible abyss.
- Come on, one more! - Peter shouted. His white teeth sparkled among his black beard and mustache, his powerful chest and arms were exposed, and the old angry stones, stupidly amazed at the strength that lifted them, one after another obediently were carried away into the abyss. Even fragile John threw small stones and, smiling quietly, Jesus looked at their fun.
- What are you doing? Judas? Why don't you take part in the game - it seems to be so much fun? - asked Thomas, finding his strange friend motionless, behind a large gray stone.
“My chest hurts, and they didn’t call me.”
- Is it really necessary to call? Well, so I’m calling you, go. Look at the stones Peter throws.
Judas glanced sideways at him, and here Thomas for the first time vaguely felt that Judas from Kariot had two faces. But before he had time to understand this, Judas said in his usual tone, flattering and at the same time mocking: “Is there anyone stronger than Peter?” When he screams, all the donkeys in Jerusalem think that their Messiah has come, and they also start screaming. Have you ever heard them scream, Thomas?
And, smiling welcomingly and bashfully wrapping his clothes around his chest, overgrown with curly red hair. Judas entered the circle of players. And since everyone was having a lot of fun, they greeted him with joy and loud jokes, and even John smiled condescendingly when Judas, groaning and feigning groans, took hold of a huge stone. But then he easily picked it up and threw it, and his blind, wide-open eye, swaying, motionless stared at Peter, and the other, sly and cheerful, filled with quiet laughter.
- No, just give it up! - said Peter offended. And so, one after another, they lifted and threw giant stones, and the disciples looked at them in surprise. Peter threw a large stone, and Judas threw an even larger one. Peter, gloomy and concentrated, angrily tossed a piece of rock, staggered, lifted it and dropped it down. Judas, continuing to smile, looked for an even larger piece with his eye, tenderly dug into it with his long fingers, stuck to it, swayed with it and, turning pale, sent him into the abyss. Having thrown his stone, Peter leaned back and watched it fall, while Judas leaned forward, arched and extended his long moving arms, as if he himself wanted to fly away after the stone.
Finally, both of them, first Peter, then Judas, grabbed an old, gray stone - and neither one nor the other could lift it. All red, Peter resolutely approached Jesus and said loudly: “Lord!” I don't want Judas to be stronger than me. Help me pick up that stone and throw it.
And Jesus quietly answered him something. Peter shrugged his broad shoulders displeasedly, but did not dare to object and returned back with the words: “He said: who will help Iscariot?” But then he looked at Judas, who, gasping and clenching his teeth tightly, continued to hug the stubborn stone, and laughed cheerfully: “He’s so sick!” Look what our sick, poor Judas is doing!
And Judas himself laughed, so unexpectedly caught in his lie, and everyone else laughed - even Thomas slightly parted his straight gray mustache hanging over his lips with a smile. And so, chatting and laughing in a friendly manner, everyone set off, and Peter, completely reconciled with the winner, from time to time nudged him in the side with his fist and laughed loudly: “He’s so sick!”
Everyone praised Judas, everyone recognized that he was a winner, everyone chatted with him friendly, but Jesus - but Jesus did not want to praise Judas this time either.
Silently he walked ahead, biting a plucked blade of grass, and little by little, one by one, the disciples stopped laughing and went over to Jesus. And soon it turned out again that they all walked in a tight group in front, and Judas - Judas the victor - Judas the strong - alone trudged behind, swallowing dust.
So they stopped, and Jesus put his hand on Peter’s shoulder, with the other hand pointing into the distance, where Jerusalem had already appeared in the haze. And Peter’s broad, powerful back carefully accepted this thin, tanned hand.
They stopped for the night in Bethany, in the house of Lazarus. And when everyone gathered for a conversation. Judas thought that now they would remember his victory over Peter, and sat down closer. But the students were silent and unusually thoughtful.
Images of the path traveled: the sun, and stone, and grass, and Christ reclining in a tent, quietly floated in my head, evoking soft thoughtfulness, giving rise to vague but sweet dreams of some kind of eternal movement under the sun. The tired body rested sweetly, and it was all thinking about something mysteriously beautiful and big - and no one remembered Judas.
Judas left. Then he returned. Jesus spoke, and the disciples listened to his speech in silence. Maria sat motionless, like a statue, at his feet and, throwing back her head, looked into his face. John, moving close, tried to make sure that his hand touched the teacher’s clothes, but did not bother him.
He touched it and froze. And Peter breathed loudly and strongly, echoing the words of Jesus with his breath.
Iscariot stopped at the threshold and, contemptuously passing by the gaze of those gathered, concentrated all his fire on Jesus. And as he looked, everything around him faded, became covered in darkness and silence, and only Jesus brightened with his raised hand. But then he seemed to rise into the air, as if he had melted and became as if he all consisted of a fog above the lake, penetrated by the light of the setting moon, and his soft speech sounded somewhere far, far away and tender. And, peering into the wavering ghost, listening to the gentle melody of distant and ghostly words. Judas took his entire soul into his iron fingers and, in its immense darkness, silently began to build something huge.
Slowly, in the deep darkness, he raised some huge masses, like mountains, and smoothly placed one on top of the other, and raised them again, and laid them again, and something grew in the darkness, expanded silently, pushed the boundaries. Here he felt his head like a dome, and in the impenetrable darkness a huge thing continued to grow, and someone was silently working: raising huge masses like mountains, putting one on top of the other and lifting again... And somewhere distant and ghostly words sounded tenderly.
So he stood, blocking the door, huge and black, and Jesus spoke, and Peter’s intermittent and strong breathing loudly echoed his words. But suddenly Jesus fell silent with a sharp, unfinished sound, and Peter, as if waking up, exclaimed enthusiastically: “Lord!” You know the verbs of eternal life! But Jesus was silent and looked intently somewhere. And when they followed his gaze, they saw a petrified Judas at the door with his mouth open and eyes fixed. And, not understanding what was the matter, they laughed. Matthew, well-read in the Scriptures, touched Judas’s shoulder and said in the words of Solomon: “He who looks meekly will receive mercy, but he who meets at the gate will embarrass others.”
Judas shuddered and even screamed slightly in fright, and everything about him—his eyes, arms and legs—seemed to run in different directions, like an animal that suddenly saw the eyes of a man above him. Jesus walked straight to Judas and carried some word on his lips - and walked past Judas through the open and now free door.
Already in the middle of the night, worried Thomas approached Judas’s bed, squatted down and asked: “Are you crying.” Judas?
-- No. Step aside, Thomas.
- Why are you moaning and grinding your teeth? Are you unwell?
Judas paused, and from his lips, one after another, heavy words began to fall, filled with melancholy and anger.
- Why doesn't he love me? Why does he love those? Am I not more beautiful, better, stronger than them? Wasn't it I who saved his life while they were running, crouching like cowardly dogs?
- My poor friend, you are not entirely right. You are not at all handsome, and your tongue is as unpleasant as your face. You lie and slander constantly, how do you want Jesus to love you?
But Judas certainly didn’t hear him and continued, moving heavily in the darkness: “Why is he not with Judas, but with those who don’t love him?” John brought him a lizard; I would have brought him a poisonous snake. Peter threw stones - I would have turned a mountain for him! But what is a poisonous snake? Now her tooth has been pulled out, and she is wearing a necklace around her neck. But what is a mountain that can be torn down with your hands and trampled underfoot? I would give him Judas, brave, beautiful Judas! And now he will perish, and Judas will perish with him.
-You're saying something strange. Judas!
- A dry fig tree that needs to be chopped with an ax - after all, it’s me, he said it about me. Why doesn't he chop? he doesn't dare, Thomas. I know him: he is afraid of Judas! He is hiding from the brave, strong, beautiful Judas! He loves stupid people, traitors, liars. You are a liar, Thomas, have you heard about this?
Thomas was very surprised and wanted to object, but he thought that Judas was simply scolding, and only shook his head in the darkness. And Judas became even more melancholy; he groaned, gnashed his teeth, and one could hear how restlessly his whole large body moved under the veil.
- Why does Judas hurt so much? Who put the fire on his body? He gives his son to the dogs! He gives his daughter to robbers to be mocked, his bride to be desecrated. But doesn't Judas have a tender heart? Go away, Thomas, go away, stupid. Let the strong, brave, beautiful Judas remain alone!
IV
Judas hid several denarii, and this was revealed thanks to Thomas, who accidentally saw how much money was given. One could assume that this was not the first time Judas had committed a theft, and everyone was indignant.
The angry Peter grabbed Judas by the collar of his dress and almost dragged him to Jesus, and the frightened, pale Judas did not resist.
- Teacher, look! Here he is - a joker! Here he is - a thief! You trusted him, and he steals our money. Thief! Scoundrel! If you allow me, I myself...
But Jesus was silent. And, looking at him carefully, Peter quickly blushed and unclenched the hand that was holding the collar. Judas bashfully recovered, glanced sideways at Peter and assumed the submissively depressed look of a repentant criminal.
- So that’s how it is! - Peter said angrily and slammed the door loudly, leaving.
And everyone was dissatisfied and said that they would never stay with Judas now - but John quickly realized something and slipped through the door, behind which the quiet and seemingly gentle voice of Jesus could be heard. And when, after a while, he came out of there, he was pale, and his downcast eyes were red, as if from recent tears.
- The teacher said... The teacher said that Judas can take as much money as he wants.
Peter laughed angrily. John quickly, reproachfully looked at him and, suddenly burning all over, mixing tears with anger, delight with tears, loudly exclaimed: “And no one should count how much money Judas received.” He is our brother, and all his money is like ours, and if he needs a lot, let him take a lot without telling anyone or consulting anyone. Judas is our brother, and you have seriously offended him - that’s what the teacher said... Shame on us, brothers!
A pale, wryly smiling Judas stood in the doorway, and with a slight movement John approached and kissed him three times. Jacob, Philip and others came up behind him, looking at each other, embarrassed - after each kiss, Judas wiped his mouth, but smacked loudly, as if this sound gave him pleasure. Peter was the last to arrive.
“We’re all stupid here, we’re all blind.” Judas. One he sees, one he is smart.
Can I kiss you?
-- From what? Kiss! - Judas agreed.
Peter kissed him deeply and said loudly in his ear: “And I almost strangled you!” At least they do, but I’m right by the throat! Didn't it hurt you?
- A little.
“I’ll go to him and tell him everything.” “After all, I was angry with him too,” said Peter gloomily, trying to open the door quietly, without noise.
- What about you, Foma? - John sternly asked, observing the actions and words of the disciples.
-- I do not know yet. I need to think. And Foma thought for a long time, almost all day. The disciples went about their business, and somewhere behind the wall Peter was shouting loudly and cheerfully, and he was figuring everything out. He would have done it faster, but he was somewhat hindered by Judas, who was constantly watching him with a mocking gaze and occasionally seriously asking: “Well, Thomas?” How's it going?
Then Judas brought out his cash drawer and loudly, jingling coins and pretending not to look at Thomas, began to count the money.
- Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three... Look, Thomas, a counterfeit coin again. Oh, what swindlers all these people are, they even donate counterfeit money... Twenty-four... And then they will say again that Judas stole...
Twenty five, twenty six...
Thomas decisively approached him—it was already evening—and said: “He’s right, Judas.” Let me kiss you.
- Is that so? Twenty nine, thirty. In vain. I'll steal again.
Thirty one...
- How can you steal when you have neither your own nor someone else’s? You'll just take as much as you need, brother.
- And it took you so long to repeat only his words? You don’t value time, smart Thomas.
- You seem to be laughing at me, brother?
“And think, are you doing well, virtuous Thomas, repeating his words?” After all, it was he who said - “his” - and not you. It was he who kissed me - you only desecrated my mouth. I still feel your wet lips crawling over me. This is so disgusting, good Thomas. Thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty. Forty denarii, Thomas, would you like to check?
- After all, he is our teacher. How can we not repeat the words of the teacher?
“Did Judas’ gate fall off?” Is he naked now and there is nothing to grab him by? When the teacher leaves home, Judas again accidentally steals three denarii, and won’t you grab him by the same collar?
- We know now. Judas. We get it.
- Don’t all students have bad memory? And weren't all teachers deceived by their students? The teacher raised the rod - the students shouted: we know, teacher! And the teacher went to bed, and the students said: Isn’t this what the teacher taught us? And here. This morning you called me: thief. Tonight you call me: brother. What will you call me tomorrow?
Judas laughed and, easily lifting the heavy, clinking box with his hand, continued: “When a strong wind blows, it raises rubbish.” And stupid people look at the rubbish and say: that's the wind! And this is just rubbish, my good Thomas, donkey droppings trampled underfoot. So he met a wall and quietly lay down at its foot. and the wind flies on, the wind flies on, my good Thomas!
Judas pointed a warning hand over the wall and laughed again.
“I’m glad that you’re having fun,” said Thomas. “But it’s a pity that there’s so much evil in your gaiety.”
- How can a person who has been kissed so much and who is so useful not be cheerful? If I had not stolen three denarii, would John have known what rapture was? And isn’t it nice to be a hook on which John hangs his damp virtue, Thomas his moth-eaten mind?
- It seems to me that it is better for me to leave.
- But I’m joking. I'm joking, my good Thomas - I just wanted to know if you really want to kiss old, nasty Judas, the thief who stole three denarii and gave them to a harlot.
- To the harlot? - Foma was surprised. - Did you tell the teacher about this?
“Here you are doubting again, Foma.” Yes, a harlot. But if you knew, Thomas, what kind of unfortunate woman she was. She hasn't eaten anything for two days...
-You probably know that? - Foma was embarrassed.
-- Yes, sure. After all, I myself was with her for two days and saw that she was not eating anything and drinking only red wine. She staggered from exhaustion, and I fell with her...
Thomas quickly stood up and, having already walked a few steps away, said to Judas: “Apparently, Satan has possessed you.” Judas. And as he was leaving, he heard in the approaching twilight how the heavy cash box jingled pitifully in Judas’s hands. And it was as if Judas was laughing.
But the very next day Thomas had to admit that he was mistaken in Judas - Iscariot was so simple, gentle and at the same time serious. He did not grimace, did not make malicious jokes, did not bow or insult, but quietly and imperceptibly did his business. He was as agile as before - he certainly didn’t have two legs, like all people, but a whole dozen of them, but he ran silently, without squeaks, screams and laughter, similar to the laughter of a hyena, with which he used to accompany all his actions. And when Jesus began to speak, he quietly sat down in the corner, folded his arms and legs and looked so well with his big eyes that many paid attention to it. And he stopped saying bad things about people, and was more silent, so that the strict Matthew himself considered it possible to praise him, saying in the words of Solomon: “A foolish man expresses contempt for his neighbor, but a wise man remains silent.”
And he raised his finger, thereby hinting at Judas’s previous slander. Soon everyone noticed this change in Judas and rejoiced at it, and only Jesus still looked at him aloofly, although he did not directly express his dislike in any way.
And John himself, to whom Judas now showed deep respect as the beloved disciple of Jesus and his intercessor in the case of the three denarii, began to treat him somewhat softer and even sometimes entered into conversation.
-- How do you think. Judas,” he once said condescendingly, “which of us, Peter or I, will be first near Christ in his heavenly kingdom?
Judas thought and answered: “I suppose you are.”
“But Peter thinks he is,” John grinned.
-- No. Peter will scatter all the angels with his cry - do you hear how he screams? Of course, he will argue with you and try to be the first to take the place, since he assures that he also loves Jesus - but he is already a little old, and you are young, he is heavy on his feet, and you run fast, and you will be the first to enter there with Christ . Is not it?
“Yes, I will not leave Jesus,” John agreed. And on the same day and with the same question, Peter Simonov turned to Judas. But, fearing that his loud voice would be heard by others, he took Judas to the farthest corner, behind the house.
- So what do you think? - he asked anxiously. “You are smart, the teacher himself praises you for your intelligence, and you will tell the truth.”
“Of course you are,” Iscariot answered without hesitation, and Peter exclaimed indignantly: “I told him!”
- But, of course, even there he will try to take first place from you.
-- Certainly!
- But what can he do when the place is already occupied by you? Surely you will be the first to go there with Jesus? Won't you leave him alone? Didn't he call you a stone?
Peter put his hand on Judas’s shoulder and said passionately: “I’m telling you.” Judas, you are the smartest of us. Why are you so mocking and angry? The teacher doesn't like this. Otherwise, you too could become a beloved disciple, no worse than John. But only to you,” Peter raised his hand threateningly, “I will not give up my place next to Jesus, neither on earth nor there!” Do you hear?
Judas tried so hard to please everyone, but at the same time he was also thinking something of his own. And, remaining the same modest, restrained and inconspicuous, he was able to tell everyone what he especially liked. So, he said to Thomas: “A fool believes every word, but a prudent man is attentive to his ways.” Matthew, who suffered from some excess in food and drink and was ashamed of it, cited the words of the wise and revered Solomon: “The righteous eats until he is full, but the belly of the wicked suffers deprivation.”
But he rarely said anything pleasant, thereby giving it special value, but rather remained silent, listened carefully to everything that was said, and thought about something. Thoughtful Judas, however, looked unpleasant, funny and at the same time fear-inspiring. While his lively and cunning eye moved, Judas seemed simple and kind, but when both eyes stopped motionless and the skin on his convex forehead gathered into strange lumps and folds, a painful guess appeared about some very special thoughts, tossing and turning under this skull .
Completely alien, completely special, having no language at all, they surrounded the pondering Iscariot with a deaf silence of mystery, and I wanted him to quickly begin to speak, move, even lie. For the lie itself, spoken in human language, seemed like truth and light in front of this hopelessly deaf and unresponsive silence.
- Thinking again. Judas? - Peter shouted, with his clear voice and face suddenly breaking the dull silence of Judas's thoughts, driving them somewhere into a dark corner. - What are you thinking about?
“About many things,” Iscariot answered with a calm smile. And, having probably noticed how bad it affects

“Jesus Christ was warned many times that Judas of Kerioth was a man of very ill repute and should be avoided.” No one will say a good word about him. He is “selfish, cunning, prone to pretense and lies,” endlessly quarrels people among themselves, crawling into houses like a scorpion. He left his wife a long time ago, and she is in poverty. He himself “staggers senselessly among the people,” grimaces, lies, vigilantly looking for something with his “thief’s eye.” “He had no children, and this once again said that Judas is a bad person and God does not want offspring from Judas.” None of the disciples noticed when the “red-haired and ugly Jew” first appeared near Christ, but now he was constantly nearby, hiding “some secret intention... an evil and insidious calculation” - there was no doubt about it. But Jesus did not listen to the warnings; he was drawn to the outcasts. “...He decisively accepted Judas and included him in the circle of the chosen ones.” There had been no wind for ten days, the students were grumbling, and the teacher was quiet and focused. At sunset Judas approached him. “He was lean, of good stature, almost the same as Jesus...” “Short red hair did not hide the strange and unusual shape of his skull: as if cut from the back of the head with a double blow of a sword and recomposed, it was clearly divided into four parts and inspired distrust, even anxiety: behind such a skull there cannot be silence and harmony; behind such a skull one can always hear the noise of bloody and merciless battles. Judas’s face was also double: one side of it, with a black, sharply looking eye, was alive, mobile, willingly gathering into numerous crooked wrinkles. On the other there were no wrinkles, and it was deathly smooth, flat and frozen, and although it was equal in size to the first, it seemed huge from the wide open blind eye. Covered with a whitish turbidity, not closing either at night or during the day, it equally met both light and darkness...” Even undiscerning people clearly understood that Judas could not bring good. Jesus brought him closer and sat him down next to him. Judas complained about illnesses, as if not understanding that they were not born by chance, but corresponded to the actions of the sick person and the covenants of the Eternal. The beloved disciple of Jesus Christ, John, disgustedly moved away from Judas. Peter wanted to leave, but, obeying the look of Jesus, he greeted Judas, comparing Iscariot to an octopus: “And you, Judas, are like an octopus - only in one half.” Peter always speaks firmly and loudly. His words dispelled the painful state of those gathered. Only John and Thomas are silent. Thomas is depressed by the sight of an open and bright Jesus and “an octopus with huge, motionless, dull, greedy eyes” sitting next to him. Judas asked John, who was looking at him, why he was silent, for his words were “like golden apples in transparent silver vessels, give one of them to Judas, who is so poor.” But John continues to silently examine Iscariot. Later, everyone fell asleep, only Judas listened to the silence, then he coughed so that they would not think that he was pretending to be sick.

“Gradually they got used to Judas and stopped noticing his ugliness.” Jesus entrusted him with the cash drawer and all household chores: he bought food and clothing, gave alms, and while traveling, looked for places to stay for the night. Judas lied constantly, and they got used to it, not seeing bad deeds behind the lies. According to Judas' stories, it turned out that he knew all the people, and each of them committed some bad act or even a crime in life. Good people, according to Judas, are those who know how to hide their deeds and thoughts, “but if such a person is hugged, caressed and questioned well, then all untruths, abominations and lies will flow from him, like pus from a punctured wound.” He himself is a liar, but not like others. They laughed at Judas’ stories, and he squinted, pleased. Iscariot said about his father that he did not know him: his mother shared a bed with many. Matthew reviled Judas for speaking foul language about his parents. Iscariot said nothing about Jesus’ disciples or himself, making hilarious grimaces. Only Thomas listened attentively to Judas, exposing him in lies. One day, traveling through Judea, Jesus and his disciples approached a village about whose inhabitants Judas spoke only bad things, predicting disaster. When the residents warmly welcomed the wanderers, the disciples reproached Iscariot with slander. Only Thomas returned to the village after they left. The next day, he told his comrades that after they left, panic began in the village: the old woman lost her kid and accused Jesus of theft. Soon the kid was found in the bushes, but the residents still decided that Jesus was a deceiver or even a thief. Peter wanted to return, but Jesus calmed his ardor. From that day on, Christ's attitude towards Iscariot changed. Now, speaking with his disciples, Jesus looked at Judas, as if not seeing him, and no matter what he said, “it seemed, however, that he was always speaking against Judas.” For everyone, Christ was “a fragrant rose of Lebanon, but for Judas he left only sharp thorns.” Soon another incident occurred, in which Iscariot again turned out to be right. In one village, which Judas scolded and advised to bypass, Jesus was received with extreme hostility and wanted to stone him. Screaming and cursing, Judas rushed at the residents, lied to them and gave time for Christ and his disciples to leave. Iscariot grimaced so much that in the end he caused laughter from the crowd. But Judas did not receive any gratitude from the teacher. Iscariot complained to Thomas that no one needed the truth and he, Judas. Jesus was probably saved by Satan, who taught Iscariot to contort and twist in front of an angry crowd. Later, Judas fell behind Thomas, rolled into a ravine, where he sat motionless for several hours on the rocks, pondering something heavily. “That night Judas did not return to spend the night, and the disciples, torn from their thoughts by worries about food and drink, grumbled at his negligence.”

“One day, around noon, Jesus and his disciples were passing along a rocky and mountainous road...” The teacher was tired, he had been walking for more than five hours. The disciples built a tent for Jesus from their cloaks, and they themselves went about various things. Peter and Philip threw heavy stones from the mountain, competing in strength and dexterity. Soon the others arrived, first just watching the game and later taking part. Only Judas and Jesus stood aside. Thomas called out to Judas why he wasn’t going to measure his strength. “My chest hurts, and they didn’t call me,” Judas answered. Thomas was surprised that Iscariot was waiting for an invitation. “Well, so I’m calling you, go,” he answered. Judas grabbed a huge stone and easily threw it down. Peter said offendedly: “No, just quit!” They competed in strength and dexterity for a long time, until Peter prayed: “Lord!.. Help me defeat Judas!” Jesus answered: “...and who will help Iscariot?” Then Peter laughed at how “sick” Judas easily moved the stones. Caught in a lie, Judas also laughed loudly, followed by the others. Everyone recognized Iscariot as the winner. Only Jesus remained silent, going far ahead. Gradually the disciples gathered around Christ, leaving the “victor” trailing alone behind. Having stopped for the night in the house of Lazarus, no one remembered the recent triumph of Iscariot. Judas stood in the doorway, lost in his thoughts. He seemed to fall asleep, not seeing what was blocking Jesus’ entrance. The disciples forced Judas to step aside.

At night, Thomas was awakened by the crying of Judas. “Why doesn't he love me?” - Iscariot asked bitterly. Thomas explained that Judas is unpleasant in appearance, and besides, he lies and slanderes; how could a teacher like this? Judas responded passionately: “I would give him Judas, brave, beautiful Judas! And now he will perish, and Judas will perish with him.” Iscariot told Thomas that Jesus did not need strong and brave disciples. “He loves fools, traitors, liars.”

Iscariot hid several denarii, Thomas revealed this. It can be assumed that this is not the first time Judas has committed a theft. Peter dragged the trembling Iscariot to Jesus, but he remained silent. Peter left, outraged by the teacher's reaction. Later, John conveyed the words of Christ: “...Judas can take as much money as he wants.” As a sign of submission, John kissed Judas, and everyone followed his example. Iscariot confessed to Thomas that he had given three denarii to a harlot who had not eaten for several days. From that time on, Judas was reborn: he did not grimace, did not slander, did not joke and did not offend anyone. Matthew found it possible to praise him. Even John began to treat Iscariot more leniently. One day he asked Judas: “Which of us, Peter or I, will be first near Christ in his heavenly kingdom?” Judas replied, “I suppose you are.” To the same question from Peter, Judas replied that he would be the first

Peter. He praised Iscariot for his intelligence. Judas now tried to please everyone, constantly thinking about something. When Peter asked what he was thinking about, Judas replied: “About many things.” Only once did Judas recall his former self. Having argued about closeness to Christ, John and Peter asked “clever Judas” to judge “who will be first near Jesus”? Judas answered: “I am!” Everyone understood what Iscariot had been thinking about lately.

At this time, Judas took the first step towards betrayal: he visited the high priest Anna, and was received very harshly. Iscariot admitted that he wanted to expose the deception of Christ. The high priest, knowing that Jesus has many disciples, is afraid that they will intercede for the teacher. Iscariot laughed, calling them “cowardly dogs” and assuring Anna that everyone would run away at the first danger and would only come to put the teacher in the coffin, because they loved him “more dead than alive”: then they themselves could become teachers. The priest realized that Judas was offended. Iscariot confirmed the guess: “Can anything hide from your insight, wise Anna?” Iscariot appeared to Anna many more times until he agreed to pay thirty pieces of silver for his betrayal. At first, the insignificance of the amount offended Iscariot, but Anna threatened that there would be people who would agree to a smaller payment. Judas was indignant, and then meekly agreed to the proposed amount. He hid the money he received under a stone. Returning home, Judas gently stroked the hair of the sleeping Christ and cried, writhing in convulsions. And then “he stood for a long time, heavy, determined and alien to everything, like fate itself.”

In the last days of Jesus’ short life, Judas surrounded him with quiet love, tender attention and affection. He anticipated any desire of the teacher and only did something pleasant for him. “Before, Judas did not love Marina Magdalene and other women who were near Christ... - now he became their friend... ally.” He bought incense and expensive wines for Jesus and was angry if Peter drank what was intended for the teacher, because he did not care what to drink, as long as he drank more. In “rocky Jerusalem,” almost devoid of greenery, Iscariot got flowers and grass somewhere and passed them on to Jesus through women. He brought him babies so that “they would rejoice at each other.” In the evenings, Judas “brought conversation” to Galilee, dear to Jesus.