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Taking tests is a favorite pastime of many people. Whether we learn something new about ourselves or are convinced of long-familiar things is not important. The main thing is that we get to know ourselves anew, get tremendous pleasure from the process and, of course, enjoy the result.

website shares this love and therefore gathered all the most authoritative psychological tests In one place.

Temperament

What will tell: Who are you by temperament: sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic, choleric, and will also determine your emotional stability.

How to pass: Answer the questions as truthfully as possible, trying not to think about the answer.

What will tell: Do you have any behavioral characteristics or predisposition to diseases.

How to pass: At each stage of the test, 8 portraits of people will be offered, you will need to choose first the two most liked photos (in descending order), and then the two most repulsive photos (also in descending order).

What will tell: What are your leading character traits, will show the degree of self-awareness and the level of self-esteem.

How to pass: You must answer quickly, without thinking, there are no “bad” or “good” answers.

Personality type

What will tell: What features of behavior in a group, family and personal relationships do you have.

How to pass: It is necessary to determine how the given statement suits you on a 4-point scale.

What will tell: What traits dominate your character. It will also reveal secondary qualities that are involved in its formation.

How to pass: When answering questions, do not think about a specific moment or mood, take your standard behavior as a basis.

What will tell: What character traits, inclinations and interests are characteristic of you.

How to pass: It is worth answering quickly, truthfully and as accurately as possible.

career guidance

What will tell: What professions do you have in common with your inclinations and abilities.

How to pass: Of the two proposed options, it will be necessary to choose one of the most desirable or least objectionable.

What will tell: Which activities are related to your personality type.

How to pass: You will be offered three response options: “Agree”, “Disagree” and “Difficult to say”. You need to choose based on your feelings.

What will tell: What are the main motivational levers that drive your actions and decisions.

How to pass: By answering questions, you confirm or refute your behavior in these situations. Let's answer honestly and quickly.

What will tell: What is your IQ level.

How to pass: In the proposed game situations, you will need to make a choice based on your assumptions, calculations and ideas.

What will tell: What are your abilities for generalization and analysis, the speed of perception of the material, the accuracy of its assessment and the flexibility of thinking.

How to pass: Try not to linger on one task for a long time, it is better to move on to the next one. The speed of decision-making and a superficial assessment of the situation are important here.

What will tell: At what level of development are your verbal and non-verbal components of intelligence.

The questions in this article will help you get to know yourself better. Trying on yourself various situations and by asking yourself the right questions, you can uncover thoughts and patterns of behavior that you usually miss. Grab a notebook and a pen and let's get started.

Know yourself.

1. Who are you?

Unfortunately, nothing comes to mind. The question is so broad that it even causes irritation. We cannot just look inside ourselves, psychological mirrors usually help with this. The psychological mirror is clever man(ideally a psychotherapist) to guide you. But if there are none nearby, then the right questions will replace them. And also a pen and paper to capture those thoughts and feelings that can be very well disguised and go unnoticed for a long time.

2. What is the meaning of life? What is love? Who are you?

These questions don't get a bad rap because they're incorrect. It's just that they are not broken into more precise pieces, so they are difficult to process. The question of who we are needs to be divided so that it is easier to assimilate. Not “Who am I?” But “Who am I at work, in relationships, with friends, children?”.

3. What happened to you as a child?

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The question seems ridiculous, but, unfortunately, it is not. Almost everything that we are today is the result of behavior patterns laid down in childhood (and safely forgotten). Children, because of their mindset, cannot fully understand the peculiarities of their own psyche. For the first 10 years, we live blindly before we even learn to understand our motives and emotions. Now it's time to go back and rethink them.

Freud's theory is overrated, discredited and considered wrong, you object. This is true in some key areas. But Freud's basic idea is considered in psychology to be undeniable and definitely true: the unconscious and childhood largely determine the choice of partners, sexual preferences and moral principles. Therefore, there is nothing left but to work with this difficult material.

4. What is shown in this picture?

This is a card from the association test, which was developed by the Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach. The idea is to show you something vague, indefinite, and then your imagination fills these vagueness with its own associations, while at the same time releasing some of your repressed fears, expectations, desires. People with hidden aggression will see hostility, scandal. People who suppress sexual desires - the vagina. What do you see?

5. Continue with the following sentences:

• In the heart of all men ...
• When you get to know them better, all the women...

A favorite technique of psychologists is to invite you to quickly, without hesitation, complete an incomplete sentence. We will not be able to fully control our unconscious, and therefore we will discover some important installations that we usually suppress. In the process of self-discovery, you are likely to be frightened by some things. But that's okay, we're all very strange.

6. Draw your family on a piece of paper

Draw a picture of parents, brothers and sisters, a house, a sun, a tree. This is not a strictly scientific method, but it leads to certain thoughts.

• The one you drew next to you is closest to you.
• The one who is at the greatest distance from you, and emotionally far from you.
• By the size of the figure depicting you, you can tell if you have high or low self-esteem.
• Home is an extension of you, your ego. Is he in good condition?
• Windows characterize the degree of your sociability. Does your house have a door? Do you let people into your life?

7. Are you optimistic about humanity and the future of the planet?

8. Did you sleep well last night?

nomao saeki / Unsplash.com

We tend to deny that there is any connection between the answers to these two questions, attributing all our thoughts about high dispassionate rational calculation. But we must accept the fact that, to some extent, our thoughts are influenced by the physical state: how we are, what we ate for dinner, how long ago we were hugged. In this sense, despite our large brains, we are not as far removed from babies as we once were.

9. What do you blame your parents for?

Why do you think they were the way they were? What pressured them and what difficulties did they experience? What can a good friend say about them?

Of course, your parents can take much of the blame for your failures. But shifting responsibility prevents you from better understanding what is happening in your life. Your parents were in the same position in relation to their parents and also cannot be fully responsible for their mental characteristics. What if we start thinking about the feelings of our parents, who, oddly enough, are also victims?

10. Let's say that you are a traditional sexual orientation. Have you ever wanted to touch the body of a person of the same gender as you?

Sigmund Freud made a brilliant discovery: much remains in the realm of the unconscious because of our own disgust or, as he called this phenomenon, resistance. The unconscious contains those feelings and desires that challenge our comfortable vision of ourselves. But the price for comfort is high: it is difficult to get to the bottom of the causes of anxiety and neuroses. So we need to come to terms with our cute oddities and contradictions.

Nathan Walker / Unsplash.com

The people we tend to think are attractive don't just seem so to us for objective reasons (because they're friendly, you can talk about politics with them, or they like sports like you). But also because they bring with them problems and difficulties that are especially attractive to us. Most of us go through the same suffering, which, as a rule, is associated with the suffering and experiences experienced in childhood.

12. How exactly does your partner annoy you?

Don't just blame the other person for shortcomings, such as being distant or overly sensitive. We must admit that, on the contrary, it is precisely these shortcomings that attract us. We look for them to reproduce the pattern of dissatisfaction we learned in childhood.

In general, in a relationship, we are not looking for what gives the most pleasure, but for what seems familiar, close. Understanding the nature of this driving force will help us learn to empathize with ourselves and treat our partner with greater understanding. After all, how does he know that we find him attractive in part because he might upset us?

13. Write down five qualities of a partner that are really difficult for you to live with.

A good partnership is possible not so much between two healthy mature people (there are not so many of them on our planet), but between two crazy people who are lucky to find a safe place for another person in themselves, among their relative insanity.

14. How do you feel when you start to like someone?

You may feel overwhelmed and begin to annoy this person, or, conversely, try to run away from a fan or admirer (“Why does he / she have such bad taste?”). This is a characteristic response of a person who does not know how to love himself, and about half of them (mainly because the people most important to us in the past were not interested in us). Start resisting suspicions about yourself. At least in order not to throw them out with rage at the person who shows interest in you.

15. What is the main problem in your relationship with your mother?

16. What is the main problem in your relationship with your father?

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These questions may sound like a cliché, but it takes time for their true significance to emerge. Spend, say, one hour answering each question in writing. If you are honest, you will experience not the most pleasant emotions: sadness, anger, resentment. But in order to live on, you need to deal with your grievances and feelings.

17. What did you learn about relationships from your parents?

Humanity is showing unprecedented growth in terms of technological progress: we are learning more and transmitting our knowledge more efficiently. But we haven't even made nearly the same progress in the emotional realm. Because we do not realize enough that the negative patterns of behavior that we acquire in childhood, we reproduce in adult life. Try to recognize yours before letting them out.

18. What slightly unhealthy, strange things do you find attractive in a partner?

Do your parents have these traits? According to the theory of repetition obsession from psychoanalysis, we are all drawn to the problematic things that we encountered as children. This does not mean that we will repeat all the actions that will lead to emotional trauma. In some cases, on the contrary, we will avoid every aspect associated with this experience, and thus continue to remain attached to it.

19. Make a List of People Who Really Attract You

Have you ever experienced, even if only fleetingly, sexual attraction of any kind to every person on this list? And did this attraction entail any difficulties, no matter for what reason (perhaps this person had a couple, or he is you, or did it make you doubt your sexual orientation)? The reasons for this excitement are always hidden in ourselves.

20. If you were to evaluate yourself impartially, what would you warn a friend about if he thought about a relationship with you?

People can tell a lot about themselves and their problems. Indeed, we do not need those who are completely free from any problems or shortcomings. We need people who are able to explain their problems and how they deal with them.

21. Explain what you think is happening in this picture?

It's not clear what's going on in this drawing, because the image is (intentionally) vague and ambiguous. Therefore, whatever you say comes from within. What details you add, what story you tell, reflects the state of your inner world. Especially if you are sure that you understand what is shown in the picture, and persistently prove it. This image is a test by which psychologists evaluate your psychological defense mechanism, projection.

22. What is shown here?

Another ambiguous picture. Here you can see many stories: a mother and her sick child, a wife who kills her husband a moment before the kiss. Write down what you think is going on here. Then ask a friend to do the same. Discuss what aspects of your life and personality you are unknowingly projecting onto the picture.

23. Write what you will answer to the phrase "I'm very sorry that we splashed your clothes, although we tried very hard to avoid a puddle"?

By your answer, you can judge the attitude towards disappointment. Typically, there are three options:

• we get angry, we go berserk;
• we do not go berserk because of an inner sense of shame, which does not allow us to reach the extreme point, even when there is a reason for it;
• we don't fly into a rage because we think that other people's reaction will be violent and unpleasant if we express our dissatisfaction.

24. How would other people react if you explained to them how you feel?

In childhood, we form a belief that will surely happen if we open our feelings. Since we were often turned away from us, we learned to hide our "bad" thoughts. And at first glance, we may seem obedient and friendly, but one has only to look deeper ...

To become a mature person, you need to understand the basis of self-knowledge: the world of childhood is not the whole world. This is one part of it, although it has a significant impact, from which we could not escape at one time. But, fortunately, we have become more eloquent and hardy than when we were five years old. Take courage and express your feelings.

25. What are your (or could be) shortcomings as a parent?

It is very difficult to imagine possible disadvantages, especially if we really want to be loving and kind parents. Nevertheless, we will have shortcomings, and they can be divided into two groups:

• recreated according to the type of unhealthy behavior patterns from their own childhood;
• overreacting to unhealthy childhood behaviors that have influenced our own behavior patterns.

26. Name three sexual scenarios that excite you the most.

Sexual fantasies can be interpreted as an attempt to recreate what causes us problems or is not available in the world outside of sex. So, for example, a uniform can attract because people in uniform seem to us strict and inspire fear. Or we want to be seen and heard in public because our parents were overly good-natured prudes. are little utopias that tell us about problematic bits of our biography.

27. What unusual sexual desires do you have?

DeborahKolb / depositphotos.com

Everyone has a fear of being (or appearing to be) a pervert. This is part of what makes us civilized. However, self-knowledge includes the recognition that the unconscious is, by its very nature, completely depraved and is no cause for alarm. We have extremely strong censorship mechanisms that prevent any of this from happening 99.9% of the time. At the same time, we can explore without fear what is hidden in us and affects our lives.

28. When did you cry or wanted to cry as an adult?

Most tears in adulthood are not caused by pain, but by the sight of something incredibly beautiful and close (reconciliation between father and son, sudden generosity of a stingy person, a beautiful garden). We remind ourselves how we want to see this one, and we become sad that we so rarely see it like this.

29. Write down the five most important things in your life. How much time do you spend on them?

There is a huge difference between what we say we value and what we end up doing. Paradoxically, we don't devote enough attention, time and resources to the things we care about the most. It is very important to realize this. Try to reduce this difference.

30. What things do you often buy that don't bring you that much joy?

We believe in advertising, which, among other things, masterfully convinces us of what we should want. It is not surprising that we often do not bring us any satisfaction, but only boredom and anxiety: clothes that gather dust in the closet after one exit, cars that do not justify their high price, and so on. We must keep track not only of our spending, but also of the pleasure (say, on a scale of 1 to 10) that shopping brings us.

31. What are you trying to say with your clothes?

Any clothing can be equated to the form of a certain category of people. It reflects who we see ourselves as and which group we belong to. In addition, our appearance can provide important information about some of our anxieties. What are you trying to protect yourself from with clothing?

32. Name three works of art that mean a lot to you.

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Often we love in art what we lack in our real life. Our taste is evidence of a need. For example, we like peaceful pictures because we are in a hurry all the time. Or carefree music, because we feel a lot of restrictions in our lives. Taste reflects not only who we are, but also how we would like to see ourselves.

33. What do you regret the most?

We so often regret something. After all, sometimes in life you have to make important decisions without having an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat you have to face, for example, whom to marry or marry, where to live, what profession to choose. We have to go blindly, and this is not our fault. We must learn to share our regrets and worries. It's the only way to feel less alone.

34. What are you a little addicted to?

Alcohol, shopping, cigarettes, porn, arguments… Addiction cannot be strictly defined as attachment to one particular substance, this concept is much broader. is a feeling of strong need for something, and the cause is most often serious problem in any area of ​​our lives. Therefore, you do not need to dwell on the substance or action that causes addiction. Focus on the sorrows and anxieties that fuel your addiction to him. Understand that you are not a bad person, it is just that your suffering is manifested in this way. And the solution to the problem of addiction lies in overcoming this suffering.

35. Make a list of three things that annoy you about the person next to you.

Small insignificant things upset us because they are directly related to more global issues. They go against some of our psychological expectations, such as punctuality, privacy, organization ... Ideally, we need to understand what global things matter to us, and protect them, treating with indulgence the little things that people sometimes unintentionally do.

36. What negative traits of your character would you not like to show people?

Almost certainly everyone is already aware of these shortcomings. Other people know more about us in five minutes than we do about ourselves decades later, because their knowledge of the other is not suppressed by the unconscious. Being honest with others comes easy. Instead of hoping that no one will ever notice yours, assume that everyone already knows about them. And in the future, treat them with a little humor and self-irony.

37. Arrange the following concepts in descending order of importance in your work:

• money;
• status;
• creation;
• impact on society;
• Colleagues.

Our career aspirations are influenced by three forces:

• parents' hopes
• society's (other people's) expectations;
• feelings that arise in our work.

We are usually the least likely to listen to ourselves. And most often the first two forces win. It may take several decades before we recognize the horrific fact that we worked only for the sake of a parent (who may have already died) or for the sake of outsiders and, most often, people who are indifferent to us. It's probably not too late now.

38. If you knew that you would not fail in your profession, what would you try?

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Often we are afraid of embarrassing ourselves because our aspirations and desires for a career do not correspond to our real knowledge or skills. And so we don't even try. And this is an exact guarantee that your aspirations will never become a reality. We owe it to ourselves to do this and speak out loud about what we want to do and who we want to be, even if it is not easy and fails without failure.

39. What things have made you jealous lately?

We were taught that envy is bad, and strictly forbidden to do so. But in fact, people or things that we envy help us better understand our innermost desires, and this, in turn, tells us a lot about ourselves as a person. Try to keep a diary of your envious feelings, do not accumulate them in yourself and try to make your dreams come true.

40. Why might co-workers criticize you behind your back?

And there is nothing to be offended about. Your fears are well founded. Everything that you suspect could have occurred to others, and this is already a reality. The point is not to try to avoid such imaginary gossip, but to take action to combat its existence: do not give others a reason to criticize, strive to be better.

41. What or who do you associate yourself with?

• If I were the weather, I would be...
• If I were furniture, I would be...
• If I were a car brand, I would be...
• If I were a genre of music, I would be...
• If I were food, I would be...
• If I were an animal, I would be...
• If I were a typeface, I would be...

For ourselves, we are something vague and formless, but sometimes we can recognize the key features of our personality through metaphors and analogies. The animal is most often particularly revealing.

42. Have you ever been unfair to others?

Make a list of guilt-inducing experiences when you were particularly unfair to specific people and lashed out at them.

What makes you worry? If you shared your concern, would the situation change? In the future, try to let others know that you are upset, instead of making a fuss over petty things.

43. How do you react to stimuli?

Someone annoys you. What do you say: “You are so annoying when…” or “I feel annoyed when you…”?

Psychologists prefer the second formulation: in their opinion, this approach is the essence of good communication. By describing how others affect you rather than blaming them, you don't put people on the defensive. Therefore, most likely, they will listen to you. Self-knowledge helps to separate what applies to you and what applies to the people around you.

44. Which of the following applies to you?

• When my partner upsets me, I lose interest, withdraw and want to be alone.
• When my partner upsets me, I panic, fly into a rage and start a fight.

These are the two most common and unhealthy reactions when you get hurt in. Psychologists describe the first situation as attachment avoidance and the second as anxious attachment. Choose the third option correctly: explain what hurts you, calmly, confidently and without unnecessary vindictiveness. Only 10% of people do this. But this is the right decision if you want to build a mature relationship.

45. Write down all the bad things about your relationship with your parents and then with your loved one.

Please note that the problems pop up are the same. Or at least you can see the connection between them. There is irony in this. Maybe it's time to resolve conflicts?

46. ​​What prevents you from making decisions?

Our brain has its flaws. Be prepared that when you make important decisions, you will feel them for yourself. See mistakes as an opportunity to learn about your weaknesses and take action. Be vigilant when you come to the conclusions about your shortcomings, do not let them interfere with you.

47. What is the first association that comes to mind when you hear these words:

• skirt;
• carrot;
• wool;
• lock;
• movie;
• shot.

We've become so good at hiding what's going on in our hearts that the only way to recognize what's really bothering us is to turn our minds off for a while. Analyze your answers, think about what hidden fears and desires they may indicate.

48. How would you describe yourself?

Describe yourself using four adjectives. Ask three friends to do the same. Compare and contrast scores. What did you miss? What have you learned about yourself?

49. Map your failures

Write down your failures, indicating the approximate date they occurred. Next to each failure, write what it taught you.

You must recognize patterns. And the best we can do is to understand what behavior leads us to and what they give us as a result.

50. What did you literally just lie to someone in your circle about?

None of us live in absolute ideal conditions. White lies are the price of belonging to society. The desire for complete transparency is a naive and dangerous illusion.

51. Continue the phrases:

• If a truly kind person wanted to praise me, he would say...
• If a truly cruel person was judging me, he would say...

Learn to stick to the golden mean between these two extremes. Be a demanding but generous friend to yourself.

52. In sex, do you dominate or obey? What about the rest of your life?

Usually the second answer is the opposite of the first. In other words, sex is compensation and stress relief from ordinary existence.

53. What things in your life would make your loved ones worry if they found out about them?

It is perfectly normal to have secrets that even the closest people are unaware of. We try not to scare those we love.

54. What would you like to achieve in your career in a year, five, ten years?

To have your own plans means not to be the executor of someone else's.

55. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?

Are you experiencing similar feelings now? A good career involves connecting your adult activities and childhood hobbies and feelings.

Do you want to get to know your soulmate better, to reveal all his/her habits, shortcomings and phobias? I have a list of questions with which you can not only pass a boring evening, a long trip, have fun, but also find out exactly what kind of ....

So, 55 easy questions that will help you get to know each other better.

1. What was your first mobile phone?

2. What was the biggest prank you did as a child and how were you punished for it?

3. What is the worst job you have ever done?

4. What famous person did you meet?

5. What is the strangest and ugliest thing you have eaten?

6. Is there any food you wouldn't share?

7. What is more difficult for you to give up: coffee or alcohol?

8. If you could change your country of residence, where would you go?

9. Would you dare to rob a bank if you knew that you would not be caught?

10. If you performed in a circus, who would you be?

12. What insect do you dislike the most?

13. What was your first favorite song?

14. If the same melody would start playing every time you enter the room, what would you choose?

15. Has anyone ever saved your life? And you?

16. What is personal hell and heaven for you?

17. Which horror movie character do you think is the scariest?

18. If your distant relative was a king, would you be proud of it?

19. What country would you like to visit?

20. If you were offered to be on the cover of any magazine, which one would you choose?

21. Which Disney princess is the prettiest?

22. How many liters of beer can you drink at one time?

23. In which book would you change the ending?

24. What song would you sing on X Factor?

25. Describe your invisible day.

26. What past in history would you like to change?

27. If you were offered to become president for a day, what would you change?

28. What is the funniest comedy you know?

29. What country would you never live in?

30. Where did you have the most unforgettable sex?

31. What would be the last dinner you would have ordered before the death penalty?

32. On a scale of 1 to 10, what pain did you experience?

33. Do you have scars, and how did they appear?

34. What animal would you like to be and why?

35. For what crime could you go to jail?

36. Do you think anyone will survive in Game of Thrones?

37. If you could bring a fictional character to life, who would it be?

38. If you won a million, what would you buy first?

39. What is your favorite sport at the Olympics?

40. If you ended up on a desert island, could you survive?

41. What is your least favorite smell?

42. Do you believe in the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot?

43. What was the last book you read?

44. If you could break a world record, what would it be?

45. Would you be able to live on Mars if it were possible?

46. ​​What historical figure would you destroy and why?

47. What is the strangest dream you have ever had?

48. If you were offered to choose an instrument and learn how to play it, what would you choose?

49. Would you like to have a harem? If yes, then who am I?

50. If you had to give up one of the five senses, what would you choose?

51. If you were offered to stay at the same age forever, what would you choose?

52. Would you like to be immortal?

53. What is your favorite cartoon?

54. How many children would you like to have?

55. Do you love me?

Live cheerfully, communicate, find common heroes and defeat evil together. The main thing is TOGETHER and FOREVER.

Most people have never asked themselves these questions. And if they did, they did not try to find a truthful answer to them. The point is not even in the answer itself, but in the process of finding it. Each of these questions can lead you to certain thoughts about yourself and the world around you, even if you do not find the answer. They are able to get someone off the ground and make them think about what they usually do not want to think about.

The order of the questions does not really matter, they are listed in the order in which they came to mind. Although several questions that follow each other can be connected logically. Do not get hung up on the formulation of the question and the search for an answer to it. First of all, you have to start thinking and this is the main task that is invested in them. Therefore, there is no need to look for any hidden background in the wording. Just ask them to yourself and think, watch your responses, reactions and feelings.

I warn you, many questions are uncomfortable, they can hurt your pride, make you think about something unpleasant, but you need to ask yourself them, because your problems cannot simply be ignored. And it is better to ask them to yourself now, think carefully and come to some decision or conclusion than to reap the consequences of delusions and wrong choices later.

Although these questions may provoke various feelings, the purpose of these questions is not to upset you, but to encourage you to take certain actions. Do not get used to problems, but find solutions for them! Many of these questions I asked and ask myself, and they help me to know myself more deeply and, using this knowledge, move on.

Do not rush to dismiss, because any question carries a multi-stage system of answers, conclusions, decisions and re-checking you again, rejecting unnecessary and some efforts where necessary.

For example:

If I understand that it is difficult for me to communicate with some people, then I usually think about how to avoid this. Does this help me, what is the difficulty, what am I not correct in myself, what am I running from, where am I hiding, what needs to be changed in myself, what is my fear? And so on…

Or ... If I understand that I am lazy, then I think about how to strengthen discipline. Why am I lazy, what is laziness, what does it protect and what does it help me in, maybe this is one of the necessity and inhibition of something in which I am incorrect or vice versa - how does it help me and what is the result when I do something, I think over and do not hurry to do it right away, why do I blame myself?

There may be many sub-questions - but this is exactly what is needed to break out of the chain of excuses, delusions and ignorance - everything is in your interest!

You don't have to answer all at once. You may need to think carefully. Do not rush to immediately answer the question, it may turn out to be a template answer, due to the stereotypes that have developed in your thinking. These stereotypes are designed to simplify your thinking and protect your ego from the possibility of self-blame. They work instantly, offering you the most psychologically "comfortable" answer. But such an answer does not mean honest and correct. Therefore, take time to reflect, try to get to the bottom of the matter and be as honest with yourself as possible.

Hint: most of the problems are in yourself, not in the outside world. And these problems can be solved by working on yourself.

Some questions include approval. For example, "why do you smoke?" If you don't smoke, skip this question, it doesn't apply to you. The same applies to all such questions.

Some questions may puzzle some, but leave others indifferent. This is fine. It is impossible to predict in advance which path your chain of thought will take and what can attract your attention.

• Why should I care what other people think of myself?
• How do my friends treat me?
• Why can't I be alone?
• Why do I drink alcohol?
• Why am I shy and shy?
• How do my family and children treat me?
• Why is it hard for me to make friends?
• Am I supposed to be better than everyone else in absolutely everything?
• Is fate unfair to me?
• Why am I cursing?
• What's going on in the world and how does that apply to me?
• What is happening in my country that I don't like, how it affects me, and what can I personally fix?
• What is happening at my job that I don't like, how it affects me, and what can I personally fix?
• What is the meaning of my life, what do I want from life?
• Why are my plans and dreams not fulfilled?
• Am I happy with my choice?
• How do I make decisions?
• Why am I worried and nervous?
• Who is responsible for what happened in my life in this way and not otherwise?
• Who is responsible for what I have become like this?
• Is the life path that I have chosen for myself the only possible one?
• What is stopping me from living the life I want to live?
• Why did I come up with the idea that I need to live so much?
• Does anyone owe me something?
• Do I owe something to someone?
• Why do I swear? What's the point of this? What do I want to prove? Are there other ways to resolve the conflict?
• Am I gaining something of value as a result of these conflicts?
• Why do my emotions take over me?
• Am I an emotional or unemotional person? What's the difference?
• What are emotions?
• I have a bad mood, laziness and apathy. So what? And what is it, what is the mechanism?
• Why do I need a tenth dress or a third watch in my dreams?
• What will happen to me in ten, twenty, thirty years?
• Will my life change somehow if I keep doing what I'm doing?
• Am I satisfied with these prospects?
• What will happen to my health if I continue to lead the lifestyle that I lead now?
• What will happen to me when I get old?
• What happens if I can't find pleasure in the things that bring me joy now (sex, food, drink)?
• I like my job?
• Am I satisfied with my job as a source of income and life's work?
• Why can't I organize other sources of income?
• What happens if I lose my job?
• Why am I not working remotely?
• Why am I not minding my own business?
• Am I less fortunate than others?
• What will I do this weekend? What about the next ones? What do I do every weekend?
• Why do I smoke?
• How do I rest, do I get enough rest?
• What do I do in my free time?
• Do I have enough free time?
• Am I getting enough sleep?
• Where am I always in a hurry?
• I know how to fill my free time?
• Am I in good physical shape?
• I feel good?
• How is it for me to feel great?
• Where is my attention?
• Am I able to keep my focus?
• How to eat right for me?
• Am I making enough time for my loved ones?
• Why am I late at work?
• What happens if I leave on time?
• Why do I profess this particular religion and not another, what do I really know about it?
• Are all other religions wrong?
• Am I diligently following the precepts of my faith? If not, how can I be sure of the salvation of the soul?
• What is the meaning of suffering?
• What am I fond of, what are my interests, hobbies, how much time do I devote to this?
• How much time do I spend on social media?
• How long do I watch TV?
• How many books have I read in the last year?
• What other interesting music is there?
• Am I educated and erudite enough?
• What do I know about my kind?
• What do I dislike about my parents and how does it manifest itself in me?
• How do I feel about my mother?
• How do I feel about my father?
• Am I helping my parents?
• I say the words "I love you" to my parents close person, children?
• What is a person made of?
• What is genetics?
• What is an atom made of?
• How many foreign languages ​​do I know and use?
• How do I respond to criticism directed at me?
• When was the last time I agreed with someone else's opinion, which was different from mine and openly admitted it?
• What is the point in those disputes in which each participant does not want to accept the opinions of the other? Is there truth in such disputes?
• Why do I need to prove something to someone?
• When was the last time I praised people, gave them sincere compliments?
• How am I better than the people I don't like?
• Why do some people dislike me?
• Why do they love me?
• Why do I love those I love?
• Have I put in enough effort to recognize my strengths and get rid of my shortcomings?
• How long have I been giving gifts just like that, for no reason?
• How long have I been visiting my elderly relatives?
• Are there many people who will give me disinterested help if I need it?
• When was the last time I cleaned my house?
• How often do I stay alone and reflect on life?
• When was the last time I did something that others disapproved of, and in the end I was satisfied with my choice?
• Am I getting things done?
• Do I have a sense of humor?
• I like to sting and troll others?
• Am I enjoying my life?
• Am I happy?
• How often do I complain about life?
• Why do I consider my problems so significant and serious?
• What am I doing to improve my life?
• Why do wars happen?
• Where do my fears come from?
• Why should I resent others?
• Why would I pretend to be something I'm not really, but who I really am?
• What are my biggest life mistakes?
• What is my purpose?
• Why am I lonely?
• How do my principles, my worldview help me?
• How to understand yourself?
• How to find yourself?
• How to be yourself?
• How to understand yourself?
• What is it like to live consciously?
• How to live on?
• How to find goals in life?
• How to understand and find your purpose in life?
• How to get satisfaction and recognition in life?
• How to change your life?
• How to live your life?
• How to realize yourself?
• How to set up your personal life?
• How to survive betrayal and betrayal?
• How to overcome a crisis in personal relationships?
• How to get rid of attachment and addiction?
• How to get out of depression?
• How to get rid of the feeling of fear?
• How can I communicate correctly?
• How and what kind of business to do?
• What kind of people are my friends? Why are we together?
• What determines my behavior?
• What is good and what is bad for me?
• Do I listen carefully to other people?
• Am I sensitive to others?
• Am I tough in making decisions?
• How much suffering have I brought to others?
• Am I ashamed of my loved ones?
• What do I know about death?
• What am I most afraid of?

There may be many such questions, but if you have reached the end of this list and were able to honestly answer them for yourself, draw conclusions and slightly change your perception of life, outline a plan for the reconstruction of your life - this is a very serious act!

The questions in this article will help you get to know yourself better. By trying on different situations and asking yourself the right questions, you can discover thoughts and patterns in behavior that you usually miss. Grab a notebook and a pen and let's get started.

Know yourself.

1. Who are you?

Unfortunately, nothing comes to mind. The question is so broad that it even causes irritation. We cannot just look inside ourselves, psychological mirrors usually help with this. A psychological mirror is an intelligent person (ideally a psychotherapist) who would guide you. But if there are none nearby, then the right questions will replace them. And also a pen and paper to capture those thoughts and feelings that can be very well disguised and go unnoticed for a long time.

2. What is the meaning of life? What is love? Who are you?

These questions don't get a bad rap because they're incorrect. It's just that they are not broken into more precise pieces, so they are difficult to process. The question of who we are needs to be divided so that it is easier to assimilate. Not “Who am I?” But “Who am I at work, in relationships, with friends, children?”.

3. What happened to you as a child?

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The question seems ridiculous, but, unfortunately, it is not. Almost everything that we are today is the result of behavior patterns laid down in childhood (and safely forgotten). Children, because of their mindset, cannot fully understand the peculiarities of their own psyche. For the first 10 years, we live blindly before we even learn to understand our motives and emotions. Now it's time to go back and rethink them.

Freud's theory is overrated, discredited and considered wrong, you object. This is true in some key areas. But Freud's basic idea is considered in psychology to be undeniable and definitely true: the unconscious and childhood largely determine the choice of partners, sexual preferences and moral principles. Therefore, there is nothing left but to work with this difficult material.

4. What is shown in this picture?

This is a card from the association test, which was developed by the Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach. The idea is to show you something vague, indefinite, and then your imagination fills these vagueness with its own associations, while at the same time releasing some of your repressed fears, expectations, desires. People with hidden aggression will see hostility, scandal. People who suppress sexual desires - the vagina. What do you see?

5. Continue with the following sentences:

• In the heart of all men ...
• When you get to know them better, all the women...

A favorite technique of psychologists is to invite you to quickly, without hesitation, complete an incomplete sentence. We will not be able to fully control our unconscious, and therefore we will discover some important installations that we usually suppress. In the process of self-discovery, you are likely to be frightened by some things. But that's okay, we're all very strange.

6. Draw your family on a piece of paper

Draw a picture of parents, brothers and sisters, a house, a sun, a tree. This is not a strictly scientific method, but it leads to certain thoughts.

• The one you drew next to you is closest to you.
• The one who is at the greatest distance from you, and emotionally far from you.
• By the size of the figure depicting you, you can tell if you have high or low self-esteem.
• Home is an extension of you, your ego. Is he in good condition?
• Windows characterize the degree of your sociability. Does your house have a door? Do you let people into your life?

7. Are you optimistic about humanity and the future of the planet?

8. Did you sleep well last night?

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We tend to deny that there is any connection between the answers to these two questions, attributing all our thoughts about high dispassionate rational calculation. But we must accept the fact that, to some extent, our thoughts are influenced by the physical state: how we are, what we ate for dinner, how long ago we were hugged. In this sense, despite our large brains, we are not as far removed from babies as we once were.

9. What do you blame your parents for?

Why do you think they were the way they were? What pressured them and what difficulties did they experience? What can a good friend say about them?

Of course, your parents can take much of the blame for your failures. But shifting responsibility prevents you from better understanding what is happening in your life. Your parents were in the same position in relation to their parents and also cannot be fully responsible for their mental characteristics. What if we start thinking about the feelings of our parents, who, oddly enough, are also victims?

10. Let's say that you are a traditional sexual orientation. Have you ever wanted to touch the body of a person of the same gender as you?

Sigmund Freud made a brilliant discovery: much remains in the realm of the unconscious because of our own disgust or, as he called this phenomenon, resistance. The unconscious contains those feelings and desires that challenge our comfortable vision of ourselves. But the price for comfort is high: it is difficult to get to the bottom of the causes of anxiety and neuroses. So we need to come to terms with our cute oddities and contradictions.

Nathan Walker / Unsplash.com

The people we tend to think are attractive don't just seem so to us for objective reasons (because they're friendly, you can talk about politics with them, or they like sports like you). But also because they bring with them problems and difficulties that are especially attractive to us. Most of us go through the same suffering, which, as a rule, is associated with the suffering and experiences experienced in childhood.

12. How exactly does your partner annoy you?

Don't just blame the other person for shortcomings, such as being distant or overly sensitive. We must admit that, on the contrary, it is precisely these shortcomings that attract us. We look for them to reproduce the pattern of dissatisfaction we learned in childhood.

In general, in a relationship, we are not looking for what gives the most pleasure, but for what seems familiar, close. Understanding the nature of this driving force will help us learn to empathize with ourselves and treat our partner with greater understanding. After all, how does he know that we find him attractive in part because he might upset us?

13. Write down five qualities of a partner that are really difficult for you to live with.

A good partnership is possible not so much between two healthy mature people (there are not so many of them on our planet), but between two crazy people who are lucky to find a safe place for another person in themselves, among their relative insanity.

14. How do you feel when you start to like someone?

You may feel overwhelmed and begin to annoy this person, or, conversely, try to run away from a fan or admirer (“Why does he / she have such bad taste?”). This is a characteristic response of a person who does not know how to love himself, and about half of them (mainly because the people most important to us in the past were not interested in us). Start resisting suspicions about yourself. At least in order not to throw them out with rage at the person who shows interest in you.

15. What is the main problem in your relationship with your mother?

16. What is the main problem in your relationship with your father?

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These questions may sound like a cliché, but it takes time for their true significance to emerge. Spend, say, one hour answering each question in writing. If you are honest, you will experience not the most pleasant emotions: sadness, anger, resentment. But in order to live on, you need to deal with your grievances and feelings.

17. What did you learn about relationships from your parents?

Humanity is showing unprecedented growth in terms of technological progress: we are learning more and transmitting our knowledge more efficiently. But we haven't even made nearly the same progress in the emotional realm. Because we do not realize enough that the negative patterns of behavior that we acquire in childhood, we reproduce in adulthood. Try to recognize yours before letting them out.

18. What slightly unhealthy, strange things do you find attractive in a partner?

Do your parents have these traits? According to the theory of repetition obsession from psychoanalysis, we are all drawn to the problematic things that we encountered as children. This does not mean that we will repeat all the actions that will lead to emotional trauma. In some cases, on the contrary, we will avoid every aspect associated with this experience, and thus continue to remain attached to it.

19. Make a List of People Who Really Attract You

Have you ever experienced, even if only fleetingly, sexual attraction of any kind to every person on this list? And did this attraction entail any difficulties, no matter for what reason (perhaps this person had a couple, or he is you, or did it make you doubt your sexual orientation)? The reasons for this excitement are always hidden in ourselves.

20. If you were to evaluate yourself impartially, what would you warn a friend about if he thought about a relationship with you?

People can tell a lot about themselves and their problems. Indeed, we do not need those who are completely free from any problems or shortcomings. We need people who are able to explain their problems and how they deal with them.

21. Explain what you think is happening in this picture?

It's not clear what's going on in this drawing, because the image is (intentionally) vague and ambiguous. Therefore, whatever you say comes from within. What details you add, what story you tell, reflects the state of your inner world. Especially if you are sure that you understand what is shown in the picture, and persistently prove it. This image is a test by which psychologists evaluate your psychological defense mechanism, projection.

22. What is shown here?

Another ambiguous picture. Here you can see many stories: a mother and her sick child, a wife who kills her husband a moment before the kiss. Write down what you think is going on here. Then ask a friend to do the same. Discuss what aspects of your life and personality you are unknowingly projecting onto the picture.

23. Write what you will answer to the phrase "I'm very sorry that we splashed your clothes, although we tried very hard to avoid a puddle"?

By your answer, you can judge the attitude towards disappointment. Typically, there are three options:

• we get angry, we go berserk;
• we do not go berserk because of an inner sense of shame, which does not allow us to reach the extreme point, even when there is a reason for it;
• we don't fly into a rage because we think that other people's reaction will be violent and unpleasant if we express our dissatisfaction.

24. How would other people react if you explained to them how you feel?

In childhood, we form a belief that will surely happen if we open our feelings. Since we were often turned away from us, we learned to hide our "bad" thoughts. And at first glance, we may seem obedient and friendly, but one has only to look deeper ...

To become a mature person, you need to understand the basis of self-knowledge: the world of childhood is not the whole world. This is one part of it, although it has a significant impact, from which we could not escape at one time. But, fortunately, we have become more eloquent and hardy than when we were five years old. Take courage and express your feelings.

25. What are your (or could be) shortcomings as a parent?

It is very difficult to imagine possible disadvantages, especially if we really want to be loving and kind parents. Nevertheless, we will have shortcomings, and they can be divided into two groups:

• recreated according to the type of unhealthy behavior patterns from their own childhood;
• overreacting to unhealthy childhood behaviors that have influenced our own behavior patterns.

26. Name three sexual scenarios that excite you the most.

Sexual fantasies can be interpreted as an attempt to recreate what causes us problems or is not available in the world outside of sex. So, for example, a uniform can attract because people in uniform seem to us strict and inspire fear. Or we want to be seen and heard in public because our parents were overly good-natured prudes. are little utopias that tell us about problematic bits of our biography.

27. What unusual sexual desires do you have?

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Everyone has a fear of being (or appearing to be) a pervert. This is part of what makes us civilized. However, self-knowledge includes the recognition that the unconscious is, by its very nature, completely depraved and is no cause for alarm. We have extremely strong censorship mechanisms that prevent any of this from happening 99.9% of the time. At the same time, we can explore without fear what is hidden in us and affects our lives.

28. When did you cry or wanted to cry as an adult?

Most tears in adulthood are not caused by pain, but by the sight of something incredibly beautiful and close (reconciliation between father and son, sudden generosity of a stingy person, a beautiful garden). We remind ourselves how we want to see this one, and we become sad that we so rarely see it like this.

29. Write down the five most important things in your life. How much time do you spend on them?

There is a huge difference between what we say we value and what we end up doing. Paradoxically, we don't devote enough attention, time and resources to the things we care about the most. It is very important to realize this. Try to reduce this difference.

30. What things do you often buy that don't bring you that much joy?

We believe in advertising, which, among other things, masterfully convinces us of what we should want. It is not surprising that we often do not bring us any satisfaction, but only boredom and anxiety: clothes that gather dust in the closet after one exit, cars that do not justify their high price, and so on. We must keep track not only of our spending, but also of the pleasure (say, on a scale of 1 to 10) that shopping brings us.

31. What are you trying to say with your clothes?

Any clothing can be equated to the form of a certain category of people. It reflects who we see ourselves as and which group we belong to. In addition, our physical appearance can provide important information about some of our anxieties. What are you trying to protect yourself from with clothing?

32. Name three works of art that mean a lot to you.

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Often we love in art what we lack in our real life. Our taste is evidence of a need. For example, we like peaceful pictures because we are in a hurry all the time. Or carefree music, because we feel a lot of restrictions in our lives. Taste reflects not only who we are, but also how we would like to see ourselves.

33. What do you regret the most?

We so often regret something. After all, sometimes in life you have to make important decisions without having an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat you have to face, for example, whom to marry or marry, where to live, what profession to choose. We have to go blindly, and this is not our fault. We must learn to share our regrets and worries. It's the only way to feel less alone.

34. What are you a little addicted to?

Alcohol, shopping, cigarettes, porn, arguments… Addiction cannot be strictly defined as attachment to one particular substance, this concept is much broader. - this is a feeling of a strong need for something, and the cause is most often a serious problem in some area of ​​\u200b\u200bour life. Therefore, you do not need to dwell on the substance or action that causes addiction. Focus on the sorrows and anxieties that fuel your addiction to him. Understand that you are not a bad person, it is just that your suffering is manifested in this way. And the solution to the problem of addiction lies in overcoming this suffering.

35. Make a list of three things that annoy you about the person next to you.

Small insignificant things upset us because they are directly related to more global problems. They go against some of our psychological expectations, such as punctuality, privacy, organization ... Ideally, we need to understand what global things matter to us, and protect them, treating with indulgence the little things that people sometimes unintentionally do.

36. What negative traits of your character would you not like to show people?

Almost certainly everyone is already aware of these shortcomings. Other people know more about us in five minutes than we do about ourselves decades later, because their knowledge of the other is not suppressed by the unconscious. Being honest with others comes easy. Instead of hoping that no one will ever notice yours, assume that everyone already knows about them. And in the future, treat them with a little humor and self-irony.

37. Arrange the following concepts in descending order of importance in your work:

• money;
• status;
• creation;
• impact on society;
• Colleagues.

Our career aspirations are influenced by three forces:

• parents' hopes
• society's (other people's) expectations;
• feelings that arise in our work.

We are usually the least likely to listen to ourselves. And most often the first two forces win. It may take several decades before we recognize the horrific fact that we worked only for the sake of a parent (who may have already died) or for the sake of outsiders and, most often, people who are indifferent to us. It's probably not too late now.

38. If you knew that you would not fail in your profession, what would you try?

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Often we are afraid of embarrassing ourselves because our aspirations and desires for a career do not correspond to our real knowledge or skills. And so we don't even try. And this is an exact guarantee that your aspirations will never become a reality. We owe it to ourselves to do this and speak out loud about what we want to do and who we want to be, even if it is not easy and fails without failure.

39. What things have made you jealous lately?

We were taught that envy is bad, and strictly forbidden to do so. But in fact, people or things that we envy help us better understand our innermost desires, and this, in turn, tells us a lot about ourselves as a person. Try to keep a diary of your envious feelings, do not accumulate them in yourself and try to make your dreams come true.

40. Why might co-workers criticize you behind your back?

And there is nothing to be offended about. Your fears are well founded. Everything that you suspect could have occurred to others, and this is already a reality. The point is not to try to avoid such imaginary gossip, but to take action to combat its existence: do not give others a reason to criticize, strive to be better.

41. What or who do you associate yourself with?

• If I were the weather, I would be...
• If I were furniture, I would be...
• If I were a car brand, I would be...
• If I were a genre of music, I would be...
• If I were food, I would be...
• If I were an animal, I would be...
• If I were a typeface, I would be...

For ourselves, we are something vague and formless, but sometimes we can recognize the key features of our personality through metaphors and analogies. The animal is most often particularly revealing.

42. Have you ever been unfair to others?

Make a list of guilt-inducing experiences when you were particularly unfair to specific people and lashed out at them.

What makes you worry? If you shared your concern, would the situation change? In the future, try to let others know that you are upset, instead of making a fuss over petty things.

43. How do you react to stimuli?

Someone annoys you. What do you say: “You are so annoying when…” or “I feel annoyed when you…”?

Psychologists prefer the second formulation: in their opinion, this approach is the essence of good communication. By describing how others affect you rather than blaming them, you don't put people on the defensive. Therefore, most likely, they will listen to you. Self-knowledge helps to separate what applies to you and what applies to the people around you.

44. Which of the following applies to you?

• When my partner upsets me, I lose interest, withdraw and want to be alone.
• When my partner upsets me, I panic, fly into a rage and start a fight.

These are the two most common and unhealthy reactions when you get hurt in. Psychologists describe the first situation as attachment avoidance and the second as anxious attachment. Choose the third option correctly: explain what hurts you, calmly, confidently and without unnecessary vindictiveness. Only 10% of people do this. But this is the right decision if you want to build a mature relationship.

45. Write down all the bad things about your relationship with your parents and then with your loved one.

Please note that the problems pop up are the same. Or at least you can see the connection between them. There is irony in this. Maybe it's time to resolve conflicts?

46. ​​What prevents you from making decisions?

Our brain has its flaws. Be prepared that when you make important decisions, you will feel them for yourself. See mistakes as an opportunity to learn about your weaknesses and take action. Be vigilant when you come to the conclusions about your shortcomings, do not let them interfere with you.

47. What is the first association that comes to mind when you hear these words:

• skirt;
• carrot;
• wool;
• lock;
• movie;
• shot.

We've become so good at hiding what's going on in our hearts that the only way to recognize what's really bothering us is to turn our minds off for a while. Analyze your answers, think about what hidden fears and desires they may indicate.

48. How would you describe yourself?

Describe yourself using four adjectives. Ask three friends to do the same. Compare and contrast scores. What did you miss? What have you learned about yourself?

49. Map your failures

Write down your failures, indicating the approximate date they occurred. Next to each failure, write what it taught you.

You must recognize patterns. And the best we can do is to understand what behavior leads us to and what they give us as a result.

50. What did you literally just lie to someone in your circle about?

None of us live in absolutely ideal conditions. White lies are the price of belonging to society. The desire for complete transparency is a naive and dangerous illusion.

51. Continue the phrases:

• If a truly kind person wanted to praise me, he would say...
• If a truly cruel person was judging me, he would say...

Learn to stick to the golden mean between these two extremes. Be a demanding but generous friend to yourself.

52. In sex, do you dominate or obey? What about the rest of your life?

Usually the second answer is the opposite of the first. In other words, sex is compensation and stress relief from ordinary existence.

53. What things in your life would make your loved ones worry if they found out about them?

It is perfectly normal to have secrets that even the closest people are unaware of. We try not to scare those we love.

54. What would you like to achieve in your career in a year, five, ten years?

To have your own plans means not to be the executor of someone else's.

55. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?

Are you experiencing similar feelings now? A good career involves connecting your adult activities and childhood hobbies and feelings.